Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 11, 2018

Just call him, he’ll be right Bach.

Whoa, now, Franz, keep a Handel on things. Not everyone wants to learn piano.

He’s making a Liszt.

I guess will prefer Carlos Santana over Bedřich Smetana?

After knock’n a neighbor, Rat is NOT GOING TO MISS his SHOT by popping Pastis in the CHOPIN to TCHAIKOVSKY’s 1812 overture

Looks more like Larry Fine.

Y’all took Pastis’ jokes for the rest of the week!

Drop a piano on his head!

Gluck Gluck, Franz. While you are Offenbach, maybe a Poochini will befriend you, and you can un Ravel her Fur. She’ll be Wagner tail! She was such a MUSSgorsky, now she is the Bellini of the ball!

I can’t afford lessons. I’m Baroque.

Don’t bring these puns up while in a pub. Nobody likes that kind of Bartok.

So Franz is a piano man, eh? Rat’s not an uptown girl, but is in a New York state of mind… Perhaps poor Franz is an innocent man sold down the river of dreams…

And now for something completely different !

He goes door to door because he needs the money. He’s baroque.

Ives had just about enough of these bad puns.

Why does he look like Bozo?

If he doesn’t go a way in a minuet, we can fire him out of a canon, and that’s just a prelude. This is going to be suite.

I don’t know about that, Rat. He might be fun to have around. In fact, I could think of a whole Liszt of reasons!

Them who’s Haydn going to be?

Guess Rat will be Chopin him up soon

One lame, overused pun per strip? This is going to be tedious.

The only way to cook a beet, is in a beet-oven.

Does he balk at playing Bach?

I am with Rat.

After reading all this, I think I need Beethoven’s Fifth…

Glug, glug, glug, gluuuuggg…

Rat would like to turn him into a de-composer.

Any relation to Larry Fine?

If you’re really going to support and decorate all this, do it in the right key. Be a pilaster-in-A.

I’m going Bach to Luann.

Your Puns make us all sick Pastis. Thank you. Reply if you agree

So many bad puns I’m going to get a huge mug of beer at one of the many German bars down on Stein Way. They’re all piano bars though. That’s the key to everything. Remember, a man’s gotta stanza for something so you gotta dress sharp before you fall flat on yer face. But if you lie in the gutter too long and you’ll catch a coda that just goes around but might be the end of things. Ooo look! There’s a picture of that old movie star, Montgomery Clef over by the staff’s side of the bar. Enough of this, I’ll give it a rest before I become a person of note. Of chorus I’ll refrain from any more because here comes the first sargeant and then we’ll just have to take it from the top.

I can’t Handel this

Pastis is going to have a lump of Cole on his Christmas Liszt.

Hey! Give the guy a break, he’s going door to door trying to earn some extra money for his wife, I guess you can say he’s doing it….Für Elise.

and E flat G flat and a B flat walked into a bar. The bartender said, “we don’t serve minors here.”

Sorry, this one works only in German, but anyway:

Ein Musiker will ein Zimmer mieten, aber die Vermieterin lehnt bei derBerufsangabe gleich ab: “Ich hatte schon einmal einen wie Sie. Zuerst warer sehr beethövlich, doch schnell wurde er mozärtlich zu meiner Tochter,brachte ihr einen Strauß mit, nahm sie beim Händel und führte sie mit Lisztüber den Bach in die Haydn. Dann wurde er Reger und sagte: ‘Frischgewagnert ist halb gewonnen.’ Er konnte sich nicht brahmsen und jetzt habenwir einen Mendelssohn und wissen nicht wo Hindemith.”

You realize if you folks “like” the comics when Pastis uses a pun, you’re only encouraging him, right?

More crocodiles, please! When I read ‘em I can HEAR ’em talk in a rumbly, hissy voice! No, I’m not nuts…As far as you know….

Haydn’s first name is Joe; not Franz.

And keep your Hans to yourself,Franz ;)

My name is Franz Schubert, and this is my brother Raspberry.

Franz is too tall to be an eight inch pianist.

Don’t let the puns Strauss you out…

He looks like Larry – copying Moz-Art.

And then there’s this joke from an old Johnny Carson skit:

Johnny: I’m tutoring a young lady in Austrian composers.

Ed: Mahler?

Johnny: Every chance I get!

If it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it.

This one sure seems to have struck a Harpsichord with a LOT of people…

If it ain’t baroque, don’t Vicks it.

https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2008/10/26

IIIIII dun’t get ut.

Stephan tends to forget old characters. He really hasn’t used that Iraq man enough. Pow Pow Khaching! Bazinga?

That was one of my favorite jokes for years.

“Mozart, where are you Haydn?”

rats makin a Lizst

How long, O Cartoon-Boy, wilt thou continue to abuse our patience?

Let Franz be on the fritz!

He looks like Larry Fine from the Three Stooges

Ironic…I’m just preparing a course for my piano students for next semester entitled “Who’s Haydn?” As they enter the studio, they will see a statue of Mozart saying, “Has anyone seen my teacher?” One student says the thing we do best in this studio is make bad puns. You got it right!!

When I can Handel it, I’ll be Bach!

Stephan, get him Orff the comic page!

When pianoists try to fish…

“Hey, why is the box of Beethoven? (bait open)”

You’re going on my Liszt!