Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 20, 2020

So, Pig’s fate was decided by a weak bladder in the pre-life.

Pig’s skills – wrapping pigs in a blanket, and hanging around while curing bacon.

Pig’s purpose in life: Making us all glad we’re not Pig.

Poor Pig. When God was handing out talents, you were going potty. And that is how your life will go.

A lot of us were in that bathroom.

Would it have been better to stay there and potty break on the ground?

The only Pig’s skill is to be fat and yummy becoming bacon or Mortadella (Bologna as you call it outside Italy) .

“It ain’t what you’ve got, it’s what you do with it.” DAMN  I hated when people would hit me with that. But it’s true. Except that part of what you “got” was the ability (or not) to just keep on slogging ahead regardless.

They were passing out bladders. He thought they said Platters and said I’ll take a full one?

Well-played, sir.

Variation on an old joke.

As far as we can see, it didn’t turn out to be that bad for him! I mean, he’s not on deli shelves in pieces, is he?

Between panels 4 and 5:

God: And you shall star in a Stephan Pastis strip.

Pig: Arggh!

God to Pig: And you shall have good taste.

Something is not kosher in this cartoon.

Well, THAT explains a lot about my life. (LOL)

When they were handing out brains, Pig thought they said trains, and he missed his.

So that’s who was in the next stall.

I got the “God given” talent of sarcasm. Everyone loooves it.

….but he sure got the good tasting ribs. But my all time fav is pulled pork (but I’ll do it gently Pig) slathered in mustard based sauce. Yep, Pig is always welcomed at my humble bode. He’s the most popular guy in town.

Well Pig it’s like Arlo said “I didn’t get nothing. I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage .” … Croc Power !

And G-d said, “come forth” – and Pig came fifth…

“When the angels gave out brains, I thought that they said ‘trains,’

And I missed mine, as I usually do.

When they handed out the eyes, I thought that they said ‘ties,’

And I asked for one of brown and one of blue.

When they passed out the chins I thought that they said ‘gins,’

And I ordered a double one for me.

When they gave out the noses I thought that they said ‘roses,’

And I chose a great big red one, as you see.

Oh, what a mess I’m in. Oh, what a mess I’m in.

If only I had listened to the angels when they spoke,

I’d not be in the mess that I am in.

When the angels gave out hair, I thought they said ‘fresh air,’

And so I asked for plenty up me nose.

When they gave out the bellies, I thought that they said ‘jellies,’

So a great big pink and wobbly one I chose.

When they gave out the ears, I thought that they said ‘beers,’

So I ordered mine with handles on instead.

When they gave out the necks, I thought that they said ‘sex,’

And now I’m old, I can’t hold up my head.

Oh, what a mess I’m in. Oh, what a mess I’m in.

If only I had listened to them angels when they spoke,

I’d not be in the mess that I am in."

—from The Two Ronnies, 1971

Pig got the nice guy skills.

Anyone want to guess where Steph was when the cartoonist skills were given out?!? LOL!!

Every wonder about the people who have a great skill for something, but live in the wrong time period to find out.

For instance maybe pig has amazing skill to be a blacksmith, or a jouster. I also feel bad for someone who would have been an amazing computer programmer, but was born 200 years ago.

Poor Pig. I know how you feel. I wasn’t given athletic abilities.

Me too, Pig, me too.

The art skills weren’t the only ones I didn’t get. Sigh.

Pig’s innate goodness and simplicity are his greatest “life skills”. You go, Porker!

There’s innate skills, and then there’s how you use them, or discovering they’re even there.

Pig’s skill is as a wise fool. Not bad.

No, Pig. You got the greatest gift, the gift of just being You.

The 5-31-2002 strip is similar to this one.

I must have taken a lot of breaks because I didn’t get any sort of talent skill.

I don’t think this strip was original. I think that he did a strip similar to this one a couple years ago (pig was in the bathroom sort of thing) Still good though

He missed out on the handing out of the brains…AAAAAAAAUUUGH!

Pig wasn’t at the door when the brains were passed out

Not to be a wet blanket, but anyone who really believes that art skills are innate should read Drawing On The Right Side Of The Brain.

You will be #1 at #2.

I understand, Pig.

There’s a saying in the South, “He must have been getting a second dessert when God was giving out common sense.”

Very relatable.

God gave me many talents. Unfortunately, most of them involve manual labor.

So Pastis…. is he still waiting?

What happens when you pull God’s finger?

The deity may have been mean/ to the species we know as"porcine’/but they’re happily not/ going into the pot/ of the Hebrews, who deem them"unclean"!

Poor Pastis was skipped over on the artistic skills. That’s OK, Stephan, your personality compensates.

Brains or trains, you can’t have both. And you know we all peed and pooped while inside our mom.

Apparently, you were still in time for cartoon characters who could tell puns…

That explains a lot. So typical of Pig, to miss the distribution!

So this is why I have a “hidden talent” I will not discover until I expire. =3

I am funny, but my art sucks.

in a different strip he says this is how his mom describes it

That’s exactly how Pig said his mom exexplained it to him!

Rat, Pig draws people better than me. And he doesn’t have any thumbs, so he cant even hold a pen.