Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 15, 2023

Goat should spend less time thinking and more time doing.

You could list “Take camera to nude beach,” but then you’d have to figure out where to hide it.

Why do you need to be on a beach?

Rat is has realistic purpose unlike Goat’s pretentious poppycocks.

If we go to the beach my brother would kick sand in my face.

In elementary school and highschool we were force-fed the idea that since every American boy can become President of the United States, every American should become “president” of something. Start a business, be Mother of the Year, be an activist, etc. Mummy’s little overachiever here ended up shattered. It wasn’t until I was past 50 that I discovered mediocrity is very pleasant.

Pig would have written ‘Eat cheese’.

Never been a big fan of beer, but I could go for drinking daiquiris and other frozen drinks in a beach side cafe.

Life is a beach. That is its purpose.

I know exactly why I’m here. It’s because my father couldn’t keep it in his pants a long time ago.

There’s no grand purpose, but I think the best we can hope for is to a) have no regrets; and b) leave the world a little better than you found it.

“Now there’s a temporary solution” — Homer Simpson.

Rat’s right! We often tend to overthink things. We need to break down our lives to the lowest common absurdity.

I’ll drink to that!!!

Or drink bear on beech… Let that image squat for a while.

Combine both lists.

Of course, that is Rat’s self-indulgent purpose.

Then pass out and get a killer sunburn!!! Once was enough!

Stephen is so existential all the time bro. I feel him. I’m known among my friends for getting REALLY deep REALLY randomly.

Rat drinking beer on a beach would definitely improve the lives of others. As long as they aren’t on the same beach.

Rat has a point eh, actually agree with him for the first time. It doesn’t make sense anymore to bother with too much although it’s good to find meaning, We shouldn’t pressure ourselves too much, just enjoy life.

Is Rat trying to get in touch with his inner Zak Brown?!?

Rat’s life purpose is to put people down and lie around doing nothing.

To quote that inimitable penguin, Opus, “You’re born, you live, you go on some diets, you die.”

Clearly Rat only has thoughts on life in the warmer parts of the World. As I am writing this from Scandinavia, one issue with taking beer to the beach every day would be keeping the beer from freezing solid.

It’s winter. Gonna be a few months before the bar by the beach down the road from me will be open.

Guess I could (and have!) bring my own, but sitting in the dark when it’s 30 degrees outside is not that fun.

Two Beer Minimum!!

To swim with my friends in the ocean.

Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning

What’s so wrong about that? But make mine wine…

Life is stupid, but most people won’t just accept that and get on about their business.

It’s easier than you think, though I doubt many people will agree with me.

Well Rat is trying to “improve” Goats life by passing on his philosophy and pointing out how Goat is doing it wrong. & I agree with Rat.

Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.

Do what you like or do what you are good at. In either event you would be happy in your work and would probably make a comfortable living. You can always spend some of your money altruisticly for Church and/or charities or just volunteer time at institutions you want to support……

Make stuff other people want to buy doing stuff you like do.

That’s because life does us wrongly.

Become Harvard president

Well, our top 1% have their purpose, but, as for me, it’s making whoopie.

Well Rat’s purpose would certainly be improving the life of others because the less he has to do with the rest of humanity the better off they will be.

Now that you mention it, I don’t believe I’ve ever drunk a beer on the beach. Just never happened to come up, but I resolve to work on that next summer!

Rat avoiding people that way would improve others’ lives.

Well, not everyone thinks beaches are heaven on earth. Even when steeped in beer. The human landscape can be diverting, but that depends a lot on the beach.

Finally, a discussion about ethics.

Goat may over-thinking Life, which should be lived, but Rat is too glib and selfish to do life rightly….