Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 20, 2024

Loss of appetite is good.

Depression. Definitely depression!

“Side effects may include but not be limited to death.”

I’ve voted early , Done. I find that a volume remote is a wonderful thing !

Would ranked choice voting be a safer alternative?

You know this isn’t a drug commercial because here all of the side effects are intelligible; the same can’t be said about the the ones on t.v., because those are all delivered at ten words per second.

I thought Pig was watching a fast food commercial.

Dark Money out weighs votes;

“Unprecedented surge in ‘dark money’ floods 2024 elections " -Open Secrets.

I was watching political commercials last night, and low and behold the news broke in! Unbelievable how many commercials this year!

Hey Pastis! I think you like the Beatles. Can you do some kind of joke with “I’m the albatross” based on “I am the walrus”? Make sure to use lots of right wings and orange and orange right wings and stuff…

We’re going to be red no matter who wins…

The ultimate side effect being the death spiral for our democracy, i.e., if the orange monster walks hand in hand with Putin into the Oval Office.

Someone will make this political. Remember boys and girls, don’t bring up the guy running as a “republican”, or you’ll be accused of having TDS.

Good morning Steph, this is truly one of your Best! Have a great day!

And don’t start emigrating out of the U.S. and polluting other countries with our holier than thou attitudes. Stay here and fester in what we’ve built as a toxic political system that bends to the wealthy and corrupt. Leave them be. We’ve got work to do here to correct this mess.

Rest easy, folks. Harris wins easy. 330-208 in the Electoral College, 10 million plus in the popular vote. The day after, MAGA turns on loser Trump HARD! Embraces Vance. Trump goes on the scrapheap of history.

If you are allergic to elections, please don’t take them…

Don’t worry everyone – it’ll soon be all over (one way or another) in a few more weeks.

Talk about a Bait-and-Switch.

Only one Candidate can meet that incredibly low standard – and it’s not the female one.

Even though I’ve turned off the TV and my emails go to junk, there is still plenty of junk in the mailbox outside

Side effects may include missing limbs, hair loss and not living anymore.

I wish we could choose to opt out of political ads, especially the presidential ones. My state is going to vote a certain way, same as they have for as long as I can remember, so voting any way other than they way they want you to is “throwing your vote away” as I’m told when I vote for a third party. Oh well, maybe THIS will be the year things are different /s

I definitely have a lot anxiety as this election will soon be decided. I don’t think I’m alone in this feeling.

A funny thing happened to us on election night 2016. We turned on the tv to see how the vote counting was going and the sound suddenly quit. However the picture worked and the counting showed Trump leading. The next day we got rid of the tv and have never replaced it. We haven’t missed it at all.

& another reason why I left the USA

Gotta get all those election jokes while you can. Only a couple of weeks before votes can be cast.

That’s why I voted early. It’s all over with for me…

So, turn the channel away from the angry, unhinged 78-year-old past and toward the future, a new generation, and you will see hope and a positive vision.

My faves are the psoriasis med ads. The side effects might kill you but dang will you look good in that box!

It just seems to get worse every election cycle. We’ve NEVER has this many months of campaign ads. Fear bloodshed regardless of who wins. Miss Camelot!

i haven’t watched the news in weeks. i won’t start again until after the election…maybe. i’m so calm.

The most important election in our lifetime, again. Who will be the next leader of the free world, the howling baboon or the giggling chimpanzee?

Read that 60% of Americans are overly stressed out about the election. The rest are brain dead.

“Show me a drug without side effects, and I’ll show you a drug without activity.” I was told that if aspirins were just discovered, they would be a prescription drug because of how much they affect your body.

Thank goodness the election is near.

Just make sure you vote.

In truth, the side effects are stated at a low monotone at the highest professional auctioneer rate possible.

The nausea is usually prevalent.

I’ve never been a fan of advertising prescription drugs to consumers, even for education purposes. Over the counter medicines probably need the disclaimers more. As do other things.

Over doses are at an all time high.

I’ll handle the side effects, it’s the direct effect of tRump being in office again we must make certain to keep from ever happening again.

Presidential campaign is noting. You should see the campaign for State Assembly here. It’s vicious on both sides (and two women in the race). Mailbox full of flyers, constant “vote for xxx” phone calls, even numerous TV ads. Recent gerrymandering has led Democrats to think they can turn the district. Since the Assembly is safely in the hands of Democrats anyway I don’t understand the vast amounts of cash being poured into this one.

But I think when you talk about the kind of numbers that I’m talking about, that – because, look, child care is child care. It’s – couldn’t – you know, it’s something – you have to have it. In this country, you have to have it.

But when you talk about those numbers compared to the kind of numbers that I’m talking about by taxing foreign nations at levels that they’re not used to, but they’ll get used to it very quickly – and it’s not going to stop them from doing business with us but they’ll have a very substantial tax when they send product into our country.

Those numbers are so much bigger than any numbers that we’re talking about, including child care. That – it’s going to take care – we’re going to have – I – I look forward to having no deficits within a fairly short period of time, coupled with the reductions that I told you about on waste and fraud and all of the other things that are going on in our country.

Because I have to say with child care – I want to stay with child care – but those numbers are small relative to the kind of economic numbers that I’m talking about, including growth, but growth also headed up by what the plan is that I just – that I just told you about.

We’re going to be taking in trillions of dollars. And as much as child care is talked about as being expensive, it’s, relatively speaking, not very expensive compared to the kind of numbers we’ll be taking in.

We’re going to make this into an incredible country that can afford to take care of its people, and then we’ll worry about the rest of the world. Let’s help other people, but we’re going to take care of our country first. This is about America first, it’s about Make America Great Again. We have to do it because right now we’re a failing nation. So we’ll take care of it. Thank you. Very good question.

- Guess Who - Hint: It’s a Stable Genius who wants access to our nuclear codes.

One of Stephans best ever.

My nightmare: the Good lady wins, but the house and senate go to the GOP

Hey, did you hear about Arnold Palmer’s… aw, never mind.

The election only makes sense if you vote Blue across the ticket.

Brilliant, Stephan!

I agree with you 100%, Stephan! I cut myself off from election commentators about a month ago. Too depressing.

I love the mute button!

Why are the hearts at 666

“Side effects may include loss of bodily autonomy, depending on outcome.”

Gee the main choices are just so enticing. Tweedle dee Red or tweedle dum blue.