Pickles by Brian Crane for August 31, 2018

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    Templo S.U.D.  about 6 years ago

    good luck using that one when the actual sheriff’s office calls

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    McColl34 Premium Member about 6 years ago

    I like it!

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    x_Tech  about 6 years ago

    I’ve answered the phone, "Federal Bureau of Investigation, Fraud Division. How may I direct your call?

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    x_Tech  about 6 years ago

    Other times I’ve answered; "Central County Wrong Numbers. Whom were you attempting to call?

     

    Once when I’d been receiving many calls to the same number (not mine), I answered: "National Weather Service. What city, please?

    Sure enough the calling party said; “Santa Cruz.” So I gave them the day’s forecast. I mean the weather for Santa Cruz, CA in July is a no brainer (at least to some one who lives in the SF Bay Area).

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    x_Tech  about 6 years ago

    Currently I answer; “hai moshi moshi”.

    Yes, I know this not the correct way to answer but it’s close enough that telemarketers will just hang up.

    I should say; “はい、これはx techです”

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    jpayne4040  about 6 years ago

    Way to go, Earl!

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    taz1313  about 6 years ago

    I usually say it’s the F.C.C. or F.T.C. both have the same reaction.

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    cubswin2016  about 6 years ago

    That is just as effective as Seinfeld’s method.

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    Breadboard  about 6 years ago

    Dave……..Dave’s not here !

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    door72067  about 6 years ago

    I like when I get calls about my “leaky basement”. I live in a 2nd floor walk-up! LOL

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    Iron Pounder  about 6 years ago

    “24th Nuclear Missile Squadron, Sgt. Jones, sir this line is not secure.” Used this one a couple of times, shocked silence on the other end.

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    sloaches  about 6 years ago

    Over the past few months I have been getting calls from the “IRS Criminal Division” or something to that effect (obvious scam, I know), but it’s an automated call which gives me another number to call to settle my “back tax debt”. I have thought about calling the number just to screw with them, but instead I just hang up.

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    jlsnell327  about 6 years ago

    Ah, that’s what caller ID is for. If I don’t recognize the number, i don’t answer. If it’s legit, they’ll leave a message. Earl needs that feature!

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    chick485  about 6 years ago

    As a Christian, I’m concerned about them, so I’ll ask them, “May I ask you a question?” “Have you reached the point in your spiritual life that you know for certain that you’ll go to Heaven when you die?” If they don’t hang up I’ll ask, “Suppose God were to ask you, ‘Why should I let you into my Heaven’, what would you say?” By now they’ve either hung up or I can explain to them how they CAN know that they can have eternal life. A win-win way to resolve the call.

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    sarahbowl1 Premium Member about 6 years ago

    I love it! Especially since I’m retired from a police department, lol!

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    chuck_sa  about 6 years ago

    Tweeddle?? Yeah, not easy to write out electronic tones . . . .

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    Zyxian  about 6 years ago

    I’m SO going to do this the next time it’s a person on the other end…

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    arianseren  about 6 years ago

    Perfect – we are inundated with telemarketer calls and this is a great response.

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    Dani Rice  about 6 years ago

    What you need is NoMoRoBo. It’s free, and it blocks all those automated calls. With the elections coming up, it’s a life-saver.

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    Snolep  about 6 years ago

    “The Dude is not in”.

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    Ivan Araque  about 6 years ago

    I MUST try this.

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    Jug of Voodoo  about 6 years ago

    I had someone do this to me… when she called me. My number has been spoofed by scammers, tricking Caller IDs into showing my number instead of theirs. One lady thought I was the scammer. She called me screaming that she was a police officer and she was investigating me. At least she’s never called me back since.

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    Nicole ♫ ⊱✿ ◕‿◕✿⊰♫ Premium Member about 6 years ago

    I don’t even answer if I don’t recognize the number. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!

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    WCraft Premium Member about 6 years ago

    I absolutely LOVE it! Crane: may I use that one?

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    Back to Big Mike  about 6 years ago

    That’s my line! I have been using it on “Private” caller ID’s and invariably, the person decides they need to do something else right away. Those who try to talk are interrogated on how they got this restricted government monitored number and asked for their social security number. That usually chases the rest off.

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    Linguist  about 6 years ago

    Brilliant !

    I’d thought when I moved to Ecuador, I’d escaped those pesky telemarketers and scammers but….noooooo !

    I still get the calls – only in Spanish ! I quickly pretend I don’t speak Spanish and talk to them either in English ( that’s backfired when I got a telemarketer who spoke English ) or French – which works every time.

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    pcolli  about 6 years ago

    With our phone, the caller has to announce who they are before we accept the call. Cold callers and the like don’t do this and so we aren’t bothered.

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    David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace  about 6 years ago

    A perfect example of why I love Earl.

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    Crash55  about 6 years ago

    With Fios you can set up free robo call screening. Catches about 90% of my telemarketing calls.

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    Maledoro  about 6 years ago

    I wish I could use that, but most telemarketing calls are robocalls.

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    Alien-X  about 6 years ago

    Yay, Earl! You’re a lot smarter than you look! :)

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    m b  about 6 years ago

    timbob2313 you can get money back and FREE interest if you pay off your balance every month – it’s called using there money for 30 days for free, pay your bill and you still get that cash back or points whatever your card offers.

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    eladee AKA Wally  about 6 years ago

    Go get em Earl!!!!

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    Cheeto Fingers  about 6 years ago

    When our boys were little, back in the early 2000’s. My husband would find it amusing to hackle the telemarkerts. Especially @ the holidays. He’d hollar for the kids to come to the phone. “Hurry it’s one of Santa’s elves again! They wanna know what you want for Christmas!” Without hesitation, our boys would each get on a different phone & then take turns rambling their wish lists off to the listener, until the line went dead anyway.

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    KathleenPhillips Premium Member about 6 years ago

    Telemarketers…pet peeve..

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