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Old joke edited for length: A man in Moscow buys newspaper at newsstand, glances at front page, throws it away. Next day, he does the same. After a week the news seller asks him why heās doing this.
Man: āIām looking for an obituary.āNews seller:āBut the obituaries arenāt even on the front page!āMan: āOh, the one Iām looking for will be.ā
Obituaries are a dead business. why pay per line for something that will inform people tomorrow when a cell phone you can tell everyone in minutes with 3 wordsā¦ Uncle Bills dead!
I remember when my first husband died. It didnāt seem real. But then I went to the supermarket and picked up the newspaper. Seeing his name in the obituaries ā¦in print, with my kids and my name listed as āsurvived byā, suddenly made it real and I burst into tears right there in the checkout line. I got a lot of weird looks, but I didnāt care. I couldnāt explain. Suddenly it was a reality. That was 28 years ago (he died young). While I am now happily remarried, that was such a horrible feeling. I still feel that way if I see a friendās name in an obit.
āI get up each morning and dust off my witsOpen the paper and read the obitsIf Iām not there, I know Iām not deadSo I eat a good breakfast and go back to bedā Pete Seeger
For a little perspective, walk through any cemetery. Note the ages of the dead. Death comes for all and not at any certain age, either. None is rich enough to avoid it. None is powerful enough to miss it. You canāt even hide from it.
Sorry for repeating an anecdote, but I heard of a 100 yo woman who said she imagined all her deceased friends ( presumably in Heaven) probably think she went to Hell.
I learned yesterday one of my former classmates died a couple years ago. I last saw them at a High School reunion 5 years ago. Pretty crazy seeing people my age die before me and Iām not old enough yet for Medicare
Online obits are very useful, though I know they wonāt last forever. Iāve been able to confirm the passing of old colleagues and a few distant relatives after hearing rumors through the grape vine.
What is upsetting is when a colleagueās relative tells us he has passed, and I search for an obit and find nothing. These are people who were well-known in their communities, wrote books, received awards, and nobody took the time to write an obit for them. Yeah, I know, some papers charge a lot, but many professional journals run obits for free. Iāve written a few for old friends. When families come to help clear out the offices, they rarely take more than a few framed photos with them, not the awards or the books that their relative wroteā¦sic transit gloria mundi indeed.
eromlig 8 months ago
I look for my own name. If it isnāt there, I get up.
The dude from FL Premium Member 8 months ago
I hate to see when young people die!
Concretionist 8 months ago
Itās a game that gets easier the longer you do itā¦ and itās NOT just that practice makes perfect.
Izzy Moreno 8 months ago
Iām fairly young, at least as GoComics readers go, but Iāve already outlived quite a few people.
Average lifespan is NOT a guarantee.
WhatsTheJoke Premium Member 8 months ago
Paper? What paper? We donāt have one here. Itās online now.
TStyle78 8 months ago
Morbid.
californiamonty 8 months ago
Youāre talking about outliving old people, Earl? You shouldāve responded, āBingo!ā
Zykoic 8 months ago
Today I took a big risk. I bought green bananas.
Ź²į 8 months ago
sure, Earlā ā ā itās all fun and games, till the Reaper comes for you
ā½į“¬įµįµįµĖ¢įµ Ā¹āø Ā²ā°ā°āøā¾
montymiff 8 months ago
Man: āIām looking for an obituary.āNews seller:āBut the obituaries arenāt even on the front page!āMan: āOh, the one Iām looking for will be.ā
iggyman 8 months ago
I do that, I have outlived many of my friends, sad!
oldthang 8 months ago
Iāve almost quit searching for my old friends now because theyāve all died.
dbrucepm 8 months ago
a lot of my former customers and coworkers were older than I am and I look to see if they are in the obits
mckeonfuneralhomebx 8 months ago
Obituaries are a dead business. why pay per line for something that will inform people tomorrow when a cell phone you can tell everyone in minutes with 3 wordsā¦ Uncle Bills dead!
dlkrueger33 8 months ago
I remember when my first husband died. It didnāt seem real. But then I went to the supermarket and picked up the newspaper. Seeing his name in the obituaries ā¦in print, with my kids and my name listed as āsurvived byā, suddenly made it real and I burst into tears right there in the checkout line. I got a lot of weird looks, but I didnāt care. I couldnāt explain. Suddenly it was a reality. That was 28 years ago (he died young). While I am now happily remarried, that was such a horrible feeling. I still feel that way if I see a friendās name in an obit.
NeedaChuckle Premium Member 8 months ago
I like to see people who are much older than me. Gives me hope that Iāll go on a good while longer.
sarahbowl1 Premium Member 8 months ago
Earl, youāre not the only one who does that, lol!
jhpeanut 8 months ago
Dad used to read them to make sure he wasnāt in there. lol.
walstib Premium Member 8 months ago
Iām aiming to live longer than my dad did. Three more years to go!
Dani Rice 8 months ago
My grandmother told me that was a list of people who wouldnāt be riding the streetcars anymore. And yes, it was a long time ago.
sparkle 13 Premium Member 8 months ago
Iām 66, and I admit this !!!lol
Strawberry King 8 months ago
Donāt worry, Earl. Your time will come when youāll be knock, knock, knockinā on Heavenās door.
Snolep 8 months ago
āI get up each morning and dust off my witsOpen the paper and read the obitsIf Iām not there, I know Iām not deadSo I eat a good breakfast and go back to bedā Pete Seeger
David Huie Green LikeNobody'sEverSeen 8 months ago
For a little perspective, walk through any cemetery. Note the ages of the dead. Death comes for all and not at any certain age, either. None is rich enough to avoid it. None is powerful enough to miss it. You canāt even hide from it.
(Delays are nice though.)
Friends remember as you pass by,
As you are now so once was I,
As I am now, so you will be,
Prepare for death to follow me.
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦..
To follow you, Iām not content,
I donāt know which way you went.
bloodykate 8 months ago
I hope these two never die.
walstib Premium Member 8 months ago
Sorry for repeating an anecdote, but I heard of a 100 yo woman who said she imagined all her deceased friends ( presumably in Heaven) probably think she went to Hell.
Alberta Oil 8 months ago
Really no contest when youāre a comic character.
Dapperdan61 Premium Member 8 months ago
I learned yesterday one of my former classmates died a couple years ago. I last saw them at a High School reunion 5 years ago. Pretty crazy seeing people my age die before me and Iām not old enough yet for Medicare
zeexenon 8 months ago
Popās thatās what Googleās for.
eced52 8 months ago
I have gotten to that age too. My class page on Facebook keeps me informed.
CleverHans Premium Member 8 months ago
Online obits are very useful, though I know they wonāt last forever. Iāve been able to confirm the passing of old colleagues and a few distant relatives after hearing rumors through the grape vine.
What is upsetting is when a colleagueās relative tells us he has passed, and I search for an obit and find nothing. These are people who were well-known in their communities, wrote books, received awards, and nobody took the time to write an obit for them. Yeah, I know, some papers charge a lot, but many professional journals run obits for free. Iāve written a few for old friends. When families come to help clear out the offices, they rarely take more than a few framed photos with them, not the awards or the books that their relative wroteā¦sic transit gloria mundi indeed.
Otis Rufus Driftwood 8 months ago
Wouldnāt that be everyone in the obituaries?
sincavage05 8 months ago
been there done that! Like it when I see my former bulys give up the ghost.
mengelji 8 months ago
Doesnāt make you suspicious that theyāre all being bumped off in alphabetical order?