That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 07, 2025

/// While he stood for his Portrait he pondered.

To a jumble of thoughts his mind wandered.

Hours holding this pose

in these stiff, itchy clothes;

he resents all the time being squandered.

/// Thomas Congreve has let his brain idle:

Dressed in black, a groom holds his steed’s bridle.

Thoughts of bridal and groom

to Thom signify doom.

He must marry and feels suicidal.

“This horse is 500 hands high.”

King George ll pointing out the loose thread that completely ruined his morning hunt.

An ancestor of vet James Herriot, William diagnoses a contorted bowel. Nothing to do but use the ‘humane killer’.

“Pay close attention, students, as I will now demonstrate how to check a stallion’s prostate gland.”

“The king don’t care!”

Even in the eighteenth century, peoples pets seemed to have similar faces as their owners.

Did not leave out any of the mane details.

A concerned horse. Knows where that finger is going, but not where it’s been.

“My dear good sir, how am I to ascend the animal without assistance or apparatus?”

Cleanup on aisle 3!

“No, seriously, the horse farted.”

Judging by the angle of the tail that horse is about to fertilize your garden with its byproduct, another benefit.

“So embarrassing, we both wore the same outfit.”

Yeah, I have this problem, when I’m being interviewed, I don’t know what to do with my hands.

Rider: “See, I know how to saddle a horse!”

Horse: “Help! get that maniac away from me before he tries to get on!”

A horse may be pleasant to ride/

But at best she’s a dubious bride/

You can’t meet her demands/

(She has hooves – you have hands)

You’ll be sorry you even tried..

Revere: Cool, cool….(sniff)…hey, you mind if I ride alone?

Dealer: Of course, friend. Just so long as you return it to the lot by six.

“Let me introduce my horse, Ichabod, and my headless groom, Brummel!”

“And this here is ma’ horse.”

….and it comes in a variety of colors.

The smaller sports models seem more economical and faster, but they are under more load, and spindly parts wear out more quickly.

Out of today’s headlines: “…A plus-size Panamanian influencer who requires two seats at amusement parks has another big demand — she wants McLaren to make their car seats bigger to accommodate her backside…”. Apropos, as that horse appears to be some sort of miniature breed next to that man.

[slaps hand on horse’s hindquarters] this thing can hold SO MANY saddlebags

“I’m telling you, I could not believe it when the veterinarian when up to this mare and did THIS!”

In viewing a larger sized image of this portrait, it looks like the horse appears to be startled or frightened (his eyes look spooked) and the groomsman’s one foot looks (to me) to be twisted the wrong way and smaller than the other foot.

Portrait of Thomas Congreve (1714-1777): 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Charles Philips" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Brave search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Wikimedia Category: found, and once there find the text string 2,388, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. Other versions points to the webpage with the strip coloration image. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3472 (March 6, 2025) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you crop what’s after .png from the URL). I’ve added a comment there pointing to the info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, first work by him used here.

when did you last have the breaking hoves done?

“Is that a genuine Mexican Plug?” -Mark Twain

Before they could put their chewing gum under their desk, they learned to put their boogers under their saddles.

Take this horse for instance… no really, take him…

Who shortsheeted the saddle blanket?

Uh oh! Tailgate’s lifting! Gotta run!!