Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for July 29, 2022

Calvin, you may know what people need; you don’t know what they want.

(Yeah, I ripped off Dylan)

Calvin could make a fortune selling them all to himself.

They only hire professionals, Calvin.

Hobbes should buy one just to make Calvin feel better.

got a dollar to use on yourself, Calvin?

I know plenty of people I would give a swift kick you know where for free!

Sales would be much better in DC. Can I buy them for others?

Speaking of swift kicks, the long-running controversy has finally been settled. Women have long contended that the worst pain in the world is childbirth, while men have always held it to be a kick in the nuts. But think about it. Half a year after giving birth, many women are speculating about wanting another baby, but you’ve never ever heard a guy say “Gee, I think I’d like another kick in the nuts.”

Kick in the butt is always an iffy proposition.

That they need it doesn’t mean they willing to pay for it :)

Who’s on the kicking end and who’s on the receiving end? I think the person spending the dollar gets to decide

How to win friends and influence people……..

Add a “Buy One Get One Free” sign.

Maybe if he offered gift certificates?

But nobody wants it! Perhaps you must sell " When you don’t want a kick, pay 1 $."

He’s often the one who needs it.

I respect Hobbes for not using his third panel expression in panel four as well.

Ask Susie. I’m sure she’d like to buy a kick of his but.

Let me give you some financial advice, Calvin. All you have to do is change the sign to read “Give me a swift kick in the butt for one dollar.” You’ll make lots of money. You might even be able to up the price to two or three dollars.

open branch in Washington DC

Makes me wonder if ‘Calvin’ is somehow related to ‘Bucky Katt’ in ‘Get Fuzzy’. They both seem to have the same personality—rampant egotism !! ! ! !

I believe in the muleskinner’s approach to management: you have to know all about @$$es.

Which one to sit on and when to get off it.

Which ones to pinch.

Which ones to kick.

Which ones to kiss

But most importantly, which one to call “boss.”

I’d pay a dollar to give him a swift kick in the butt.

I see a line forming right here in the comments. Shameful. Just shameful. You people should get a swift ki…oh, sorry Calvin. Didn’t mean to cut into your business.

Oh, I’m sure there’s a market for a little derriere abuse today. In fact, I just watched an episode of “Castle” where women get paid lots of money for such services. The world has only gotten weirder since ’92!

In that case, Calvin should be the first in line!

Oh, you should be charging people to kick you.

Needing is one thing, Calvin. Wanting is another.

Try reverse psychology. “A kind word for a dollar.” Of course you might run up against church interests there, but it’s worth it.

And to think Lucy kept her psychiatry fees to five cents.

Physician, Heal thyself. Okay Hobbs, heal Calvin for us.

Calvin SHOULD have said “Everybody knows I need what I am selling!”

MY Goodness! I am now officially old. I have an exact copy of the comic I cut from a newspaper MANY years ago!!

Calvin should be the first in line….

You must make A Swift Kick in the Butt into a documentary film if you want $$$.

Another failed start-up story in the making…

Yeah, most people are waiting for that slow kick in the b*tt.

I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she would meet her connection At her feet was her footloose man No, you can’t always get what you want You can’t always get what you want You can’t always get what you want But if you try sometime you find You get what you needRolling Stones

Classic!

Know thyself, Calvin.

During recess one year boys were singing “one two three kick in the rear we are good old pals.” The group went up to a boy kicked him, then he joined the group to kick another kid. (Only one kid did the kicking. That phrase doesn’t show up on google.)

It’s all about location. Mover your stand to D.C.!

Kind of similar to trying to sell colonoscopies, but without recommendations from the medical profession.

At least here he didn’t make it as blatant… https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1995/07/08

My favorite comic. I had it on my fridge for years.

I’m sure plenty of people would be willing to pay a buck to swiftly kick Calvin in the butt.

This Strip hung in my Office for decades. It spoke to me.

There must certainly be people that would pay $1.00 to kick Calvin in the butt.

Truth seldom sells. If it did climate scientists would be rich.

One of my favorite C&H strips of all time.

Maybe paying a dollar entitles you to kick Calvin in the butt?

Since when Calvin become chiropractor.

Give him a dollar and then say “Okay, turn around.”

He should set up shop outside of Parliament.

a great product … wish I thought of it – this was a great cartoon when it first and still ranks as one of my favorite – thank you Bill