Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for April 12, 2017

act natural, huh?

looks like Shannon taught Bernice to do her makeup. I bet Eeyore(Piro) also ran.

The Harley Quinn look isn’t working for her.

She looked better before.

Overdoing it just a bit, Bernice?

I understand that women use a lot of makeup to be competitive with each other, rather than to attract men. However, on upscale social occasions, men often do appreciate a woman looking like a princess.

But in casual situations that may lead to romance, most guys tend to like “natural” better, and layers of makeup really seem like a barrier. And how many guys really like lipstick on their mouth, their neck, or their wherever?

Ha, now that she tries to make herself look more attractive and sexy everybody says she looks terrible, like a clown, and all kinds of silly nonsense about the new Bernice. First even though she went a bit over the top, it is clear she is an attractive girl/woman. Just brunette. She needs to feel better internally and I think her natural beauty will show out eventually. But Bernice just can’t catch a break I think. Lets see what happens when Piro sees her, assuming he hasn’t left.

Bern has got it bad.

After all that, Bern steps back into the living room: “Ok, Piro – I have those notes.. Piro? Piro… ?”

7 minutes later Bernice pops out of the bathroom and what happens next?:

1. Piro sees her with all that makeup on and asks her if she is planning to join the circus.

2. Piro has the notes in his hand and says, “Found them! It’s a good thing you file all your class notes alphabetically and chronologically. It was easy to figure out where they were. Thanks for the notes. See you later!”

3. Tiffany has entered the room and says, “I thought I saw Piro coming in here… Oh my God! What did you do to your face? How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t put lipstick on your cheeks?”

4. Hair pops his head in the door and says, “Piro’s here! It’s time to start an impromptu dormitory party!”

5. Bernice finds Sun and Piro wrestling over the stolen television as Sun says, “No! No! It’s mine as payment for suffering with unbeawwable Asian stereotypes!”

6. Dez pops in and says, “Darn it! I thought you and Piro would be naked by now… And bless the spirit! Whoever taught you how to seduce a man should be shot.”

7. Gunther walks in and says, “Oh, that’s where my amoeba earrings and necklace went. Thanks for finding them Bernice.”

8. Bernice finds Piro and Luann kissing. Bernice says, “Luann! Is there any man in this world that doesn’t find you attractive?” Luann looks at Piro and says, “Oh is this yours? Sorry Bernice.”

(1) Piro gets it…and gets it, or(2) Piro doesn’t get it (Where’s the notes?), or(3) Piro laughs.. Bern hits him with a lamp,or(4) Tiff walks in and offers a makeover…

“Gee. Now that I have Piro right where I WANT Him, what I can I possibility do to COMPLETELY Screw Things Up?? I GOT it!! I’ll WASTE valuable time putting on war paint and then get cold feet and wash it off. THEN, I’ll agonize about what to do next, for the next couple of Strips so that by the time Saturday (Reader-Time) rolls around, Piro will have: 1) Left, 2) Jumped out of a nearby window in Boredom, or 3) Gone into a Coma. Okay, We have a PLAN! Let the Procrastination BE-GIN!!” – Bernice

This is obviously some new meaning of “natural” that I hadn’t previously encountered.

I’m sorry, Bernice, but you look like a cheap hooker made up like that. And watch Piro be gone when she gets out.

Yeah, Bernice… what could go together ‘better’ than to “Act Naturally” ? Heh, heh, what an “Oxy-Maroon”!!

“Act Naturally” (♫)

“Still Moving”

“Making A Play Is Hard Work”

“Kabuki Unlocks The Door”

“Kiss And Tell”

“It’s Sad When You Clown Around”

“Powder, With A Capital Pow”

“Pancake With Egg On Your Face? Goes Over Easy!”

“The Hot Look Is So Cool”

“Know Your Role…Be Yourself”

“She’s Got It Bad, In Good Measure!”

“Going All Out To Get In”

“A Pretty Ugly Situation”

or

“Overdone Is An Understatement”

Too much makeup? No, not if your name’s “Bozo”.

Too much makeup? No, not if your name’s “Ronald McDonald”.

Too much makeup? No, not if your name’s “Emmet Kelly, Jr.”

Too much makeup? No, not if your name’s “Freddy The Freeloader”.

Too much makeup? No, not if your name’s “Tiffany”.

Uh, saw were I was going with this?

“Brought to you”, By:

♦

“Oil Of Okay”….. “We did our part…”

•

The “Lips Of Steel” Exercise video collection….. “With twenty new workouts included!…On sale, this week at MalWarts….”

•

Undercover Girl Beauty Supply…“You’re in there, somewhere! But, don’t worry! We’ll help find you!”

♦

And, by…

“Gorilla My Dreams”…. “The fun and educational makeup line for your budding thirteen year old girl!… From Gorilla Industries, the makers of the ‘Twist It, Sister!’ makeup and exercise family of products…”

I wish I hadn’t seen that last panel. Overdoing it is worse than going natural.

Berni the Hooker.

Nothing like that come-hither look, right Bernice?

Piro doesn’t look at all thrilled. This isn’t going to go the way Bernice is thinking it will. Piro really is there for just the notes.

Tiffany! Come help this poor girl; she knows nothing about makeup!

Gahhh!

That is scary!

Maybe Bee should get contacts. Plus, she needs advice from Tiffany on how to go easy on the makeup (yes, I know what I just said, and I meant it: Tiff handles makeup artfully to enhance her appeal; Bee, well, needs help).

If Piro hasn’t already ditched after Seven Long Minutes, he will be underwhelmed by “the new Bernice,” who is even less appealing than the old Bernice!

Bern will return to an empty room

Returning to find him talking to Tiffany would be funny.

I know this is a comic and not the real world, but this is a little silly for someone who supposed to be in college.

I know this is a comic and not the real world, but this is a little silly for someone who supposed to be in college.

I know this is a comic and not the real world, but the is just a little too silly for someone who is supposed to be college (are they still freshman or now sophomores?)>

7 minutes later, something could become missing.

That is a lot of makeup. It just doesn’t really work

The search for the notes intensifies.

the notes were hidden in the missing TV!

Bozo the clown!

You’re taking too long Bernice. Just grab the notes and get back to Piro. He’s likely to disappear if you wait much longer. And get that war paint off your face.

Is it Halloween already?

Now she looks like a bespectacled hooker!

Girls with thin lips need to define them with some color, but Bernice has gone from thin lips to plump lips. I approve of the attempt, but Greg overdid it. Bernice has to have lips to begin with, but a pen and black ink seems to limit this ability. All I can say is that the “young” girls on Chickweed Lane pull it off quite well. It’s like the artist does everything in fine pen strokes and then changes to red ink for their lips. With Greg’s “all or nothing” technique, Bernice should be showing more cleavage, a short skirt, black fishnet stockings, spiked heels, and be in a bar setting.

No, no! Less makeup. AND less clothing. I quote: “Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex." – Cher from the movie Clueless; the consummate Tiffany.

Hmmm… I wonder what Kathy Kinney’s doing these days? Now, what made me think of that?

Bern knows how to use makeup? Pirouette will be shocked. And what about those notes.

Bernice better HOPE that in those seven minutes … Piro has fallen asleep.

Oh good grief!

Meanwhile, Bernice hasn’t bothered to look for the notes. She’ll try for a minute, realize she can’t find them, and when she goes back to explain that to Piro, she’ll discover that he’s already gone. But he’ll be nice enough to leave a message, explaining that he called a classmate who also offered notes (real ones)…

Meanwhile, Piro’s (pjɛʁo) gotten tired of waiting and went down the hall to Tiffany’s room.

I actually think she does look pretty, in a China doll way. But complaining about her makeup misses the point. She has put Piro in an awkward position, by refashioning note-sharing into a date. He needs to speak up, since he can’t be oblivious to her motives.

Wipe off the clown paint. He has no interest in that. He has interest in you – as is.

Sure fire way to freak him out, or anyone for that matter. Oh Bern…

Since when is 7 minutes an eternity?

I’m sure she’ll come to her senses and wipe most of it off.

Seven minutes is six minutes too long. Can’t just leave him there. He likes TV, should have turned on the TV for him. He will bolt ….

She comes back to find Piro made a puddle on the floor.

My guess is that after seven minutes Piro is asleep on the couch or gone.

Oh no…..I can’t look!! hopefully Piro will be gone or asleep when Bern goes back. I pray he doesn’t see her like that…. this is just another example adolescent growing pains.

Am I mistaken or is that Peggy Hill from “King of the Hill”? from the episode where Peggy tarted up to look like a prostitute? Sure looks like her…and that’s not a compliment.

Bernice has earned the right to a disclaimer, to wit: “I’m not always scheming or clueless, I’m just drawn that way.”

Piro doesn’t seem to have much of a reaction to the women who are interested in him. Bern would probably get the same reaction from him whether she goes out with all the war paint or completely in the nude.

.

“Oh, good – you have the notes, thank you. I’ll bring them back tomorrow.”

Yeah that’s attractive Bernice.

Poor child is NERVOUS!

Now, if we could man up Gunther, and he would let his beard grow more, maybe the both of them could really get turned on and go to it. Their chemistry needs a catalyst, and fantasy could just be the ticket. So, let Piro wander out and Gunther wander in. Bernice will need a shoulder to cry on and could be very receptive to Gunther comforting her.

So let’s all pile on the insults to a character who is NOT worldly, probably a virgin and unsure of herself on so many levels. And probably all of 19-20 years of age. Not everyone is ready to conquer the world at that age.

7 minutes later and Piro’s probably left the room. Plus, since when does Bern even OWN any makeup?

Poor Bernice. Whatever is coming next surely won’t be good for her. My guess either there’s a fire drill or she will emerge to find Tiff in her room, wearing an impossibly tiny skirt. Either way, the “notes” will be forgotten.

She looks less desirable and is approaching painted harlot to clown levels.

Oh come on, guys. Clown, hooker, cheap, prostitute? That’s way over the top and rather cruel. Timid girl tries to look attractive in the way she believes our current society demands…….give her a break, she’s still learning. I wouldn’t say those things to Dolly Parton, and I wouldn’t tell her to go wash her face, or have a breast reduction. If you want bare faced and sweaty, go to a lesbian bar.

Bernice didn’t need any makeup to make Zane fall in love with her.

@AIRMAN: Ya know, it is possible to defend one type of person without smearing another type of person. There’s good and not so good in Bernice, just like most of the characters (and most everyday people, for that matter.) I’ve never seen her as timid. She is very much a by-the-book person when it comes to enforcing rules on others (on herself, not so much), and is very forthright when she speaks up about rule violation. Not exactly characteristic of the timid.

.

I’m not clear at all on why she feels she needs to change her look to try to have a conversation with a mysterious guy who she is attracted to; after all, she knows he’s seen her without all the makeup before and he still talked to her. And Bernice also never struck me as the type who thought it was necessary to look like what ‘current society demands’. I think many of us are just really disappointed in this strange morphing she’s going through. Those who are calling her a hooker ARE over the top in their comments (and if they were saying it about Tiffany, there are a bunch of commenters who would be hollering about now). But there’s no logic to why she would do this now, when Piro has already seen her a number of times with no makeup and it didn’t make him run away…

You can’t make up this stuff!

This is going to be one of those deals where she could save a lot of time and trouble if she just asked him out.

that’s a lot of goop in 7 minutes!

Am I the only one who finds it odd that their dorm room has separate living room and bedrooms?

When I read today’s strip I was embarrassed for Bernice, and also for Piro when he sees how awkward this situation has become. I really would like to have just seen the two of them have a normal interaction and perhaps get to know each other in a comfortable manner.

What a goof ball Bern is!

Forget the goop, Bernice. Some crackers and Cheeze Whiz will do wonders for any guy.

8

While Bernice’ s makeup is a FAIL (she is much more attractive natural), the goop will at least be a clear signal to Piro that she has romantic feelings for him… if he is still there when she returns.

How about this for tomorrow:

Bernice walks out to Piro and he thinks it’s someone else… maybe a roommate. He asks if Bernice is still around. Bern rushes back to clean off all the make-up and comes out again. She says.. ‘Oh that was a friend from class.’

Oy vey. A swipe of mascara and tinted lip balm is all that is needed. Piro isn’t even all that interesting to merit this type of reaction from Bern.

Oh my gosh, can this storyline please just end already?

SPOILER ALERT:

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Reconsideration restores reality! But, alas for other promises…