Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 05, 2018

Just don’t look at obituaries. Ignorance is bliss on this situation.

Not necessarily the majority, only the ones you really miss.

Go make some “friends” on Facebook. (Myself, I only ‘friend’ people I actually know IRL)

Man, 2013 was a bad year for me. I had three friends pass that year. One of them was a regular computer correspondent. We popped messages back and forth all night when I was online. There sure was a hole that wasn’t filled for a few years.

If I’ve heard of them, I assume they’re dead.

What a dreamer.

That makes for a pretty good working definition.

Thanks for the reminder, Rat.

Sadly there are wayyyyyyyyyyyy more people who died in the past than the total amount of people still living in the present. We all have to make new friends while we still can!

Why does Pastis use the word “new”?

Yeah, and most of the celebrities I really really liked are dead now too …. ¯\(ツ)/¯

I like the definition from a ‘Little Feat’ song……“You know that you’re over the hill when your mind makes a promise that your body can’t fill!”

When technology you never understood is obsolete.

My grandfather used to check the obituaries in the paper every day, said if he didn’t see his name listed it was going to be a good day!

At this stage in life they’re not called friends…they’re called pallbearers.

nope, it’s when the the people worth knowing are all dead. This kinda explains Trump he’s a vampire who will never die.

Oh damn…

Stephen is playing the role of Pig today. Now we know why Pig is the way he is.

I wish I was as old as I was the first time I thought I was old.

Considering that Stephan is only 50, it’s hard for me to believe that most of his friends have already died.

I knew I was getting older when I started wanting a Buick Roadmaster.

I wanna do the math on how long it takes a kindergarten teacher to become old, but I couldn’t raise the effort to even work out the assumptions.

When three of your friends have died in the last six months.

Good luck with that,Pastis.

I knew I was old when I saw Valerie Bertinelli on the cover of AARP magazine.

You are old once you start saying you having lived too long.

When your parents, aunts and uncles are gone, then you know you’ve got about 20 years left.

“It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.” Gabriel García Márquez.

Another day older and deeper in debt…

funny, I thought it was when you were no longer asked to show your driver’s license when buying alcohol.

“old age ends and senescence begins,the day your descendants outnumber your friends” Odgen Nash

“How do I know my youth is all spent? My get up and go has got up and went.” – Pete Seeger

I just saw this addressed on-line: “If you want to know if you’re ‘old’, just fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you’re still young. If they run over to help you, then you’re old!”.

Two of my friends from the dorms at college passed away within the last few years. Also someone I knew from Student Government passed away just before she won her re-election to the State Senate in 2010.

I made a big deal when I passed 49. Douglas Adams, my high school band director and a friend for school and church all passed away at 49. I also made a big deal when I outlived my paternal grandfather. He passed away about a month and a half before his 58th birthday.

No pity for Cartoon-Boy. He can draw himself a big bunch of new "friends"….

I like Tom Lehrer’s line: “It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for three years.”

We have friends who are older and friends who are younger. Heck, I am 39 years older than one of my close friends. I find it invigorating to encounter new perspectives and they tend to appreciate mine, as well.

When you get an AARP brochure in the mail and noticed it’s addressed to you….not occupant. I had just turned 50 at the time….

I knew I was getting old when nobody seemed to be in my way anymore.

Worrying about death makes life not worth living.