Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for October 20, 2019

I think she set you up, Marigold.

Oh, thou wond’rous season known as autumn. How I distain thee pond’ring of poem while sitting on my bottom.

I think Phoebe’s iambic pentameter is a touch off.

Autumn and Bottom??

(Anyone able to suggest an accent I’m not thinking of here?)

She asked for words that rhyme with autumn.

I had some time, and so I sought ‘em,

and when she asked again, I taught ’em.

But somehow she just never bought ’em:

They weren’t as good as I had thought ’em.

(But still better than bottom, which doesn’t rhyme with autumn at all in any accent that springs to my mind, though I may be overlooking some. And what does iambic pentameter have to do with it? We never hear the meter of Phoebe’s poem.)

Quantum? “caught ’em” (and “lost ’em”)?

Shift autumn to a different location.

Autumn leaves… as do the swallows, for when Autumn leaves then Winter follows.

Maybe cheat a little?

Colored leaves that fall in Autumn, yard waste bags, you know I bought ’em. ( perhaps change “bought” to “got” to avoid the hilarious similarity by one more remove )

One last one:

Autumn colors now remember,When the tree is decked in cold December.

All that lived now sleeps, is dead.So hang those decoration red.

That all may still remember.

No ifs, ands, or howevers.

A budding Joyce Kilmer.

“Bought ’em” would be a better rhyme than “bottom” but that wouldn’t have made Phoebe giggle.

Phoebe is easily amused, or she’s a fan of Spinal Tap or Queen.

Try thought-rhyming like used in the Psalms of David instead.

There are more than a few more rhymes available. They’re not very imaginative, but they are available. Here are some of the better ones: bethought him, bought him, brought him, caught him, got ’em, got him, not him, shot him, sought him, taught him, thought him.

A multi-word rhyme would work, but it seems she hasn’t got ’em.

Uh…thumb.

I call it autumn and he calls it fall.

I sit on my bottom and he plays with his jump-rope.

Now that’s maturity.

Phoebe has something in common with Avery from O&M.

Scrotum? Heeheeheehee…

Wasn’t there a unicorn called Delilah Comfortable Bottom?

Let’s see…“Autumn”? Hm-m-m, “Ad Nauseum” rhymes…

I like the word Autumn over Fall myself.

“AUTUMN & BOTTOM” Ѡ

Or try “Column”, the first one that came to my mind…