Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 10, 2019

Larry can avoid all of this by just not going to church.

He’s not thinking. If all leave that means more beer!!!

it’s like the vicar and Andy Capp

This is why all religions and their institutions are the same! Whatever you believe, the “keepers of the faith” will all go for more tangible, terrestrial proof!

Glad to see you, Larry. It’s been kind of depressing around here.

A reptilian church? What a crock!

Unlike most of the adult male crocs in the strip, the croc priest speaks grammatically correct English.

After the rapture, it will be heaven on earth. All the “good” christians will be gone.

Give the beer to the orphans! LOL I love it.

i’m an orphan!

I was raised Presbyterian, but my religion is horses, and always has been. It makes more sense, really. I worship five times a week, can always tell what state my soul is in by checking in with my horse and others. (He says I’m good) When it comes right down to it, religion is only intended for two things, instilling some kind of moral framework and supporting the priest/religion. At best, religion is a kind of social club and psychiatry, at worst a con. All religions promise rewards after death if you behave as they direct in life. Who’s gonna come back and complain? I’d rather keep my time and money, spend it on what I want, and ignore the patriarchy that thinks they should get to run my life.

My first response, should I have found myself in that very unlikely (for me) situation. “Oh thank goddess they’ve all gone away!”

Totally appropriate that the pastor’s a carnivorous reptile.

Even though Benjamin Franklin probably never said it, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

Be very careful, Larry, you’re dealing with a man of God…

Beauty lies in the ayes of the beerholder.

The great bear god in the skies doesn’t have churches in his name and he never asks for donations. He only asks you for sacrifice. Sacrifice of your food by feeding poor hungry bears on earth. So, gimme all your food and redeem thy souls, humans.

Once again we have a church leader resorting to fraud and deception to get money. Tax-exempt probably as well.

Finally we get some Crocs …. but this one is weak , Larry has done better work …. try again Stephan … Croc Power !

Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”: the first draft.

This is blackmail/extortion. Do NOT give into it. This is a “Father” who needs to repent. Unfortunately, there are many “churches” like this. “God will certainly bless you with a palace, but you have to give Him a house first”

A bit extreme, but it’s work!

Idiot! More beer for you!

Larry can be one of those in name only Christians, i.e., Evangelicals, Republicans and Pence and she-wolf Mrs. Pence.

What’s the first thing that comes out of people’s mouths when they are experiencing a tragedy? OH GOD! PLEASE HELP ME!

Larry would LOVE it… more beer for him! And NO MORE LINES at the KFC!!!

A world without self righteous, elitist Christians? Where do sign up.

The crocs are pre-millennial dispensationalists?

(BTW, Stephan, they never call their pastors “Father.”)

Wow, 7 hours and no “Father” in the closet comments. It is the Church of Peter, little boy peter.

Or, find a church that does not use this sort of “ theology” to gain compliance!

If the rapture takes believers to heaven that must means we are in hell now and must earn our way out. The way things are going now the more I believe it.

Religion is the ultimate hoax.

rapture is not in scripture… it is a baseless belief…. it was invented in the 1830’s….

… they must be having a kegger…. all cups, no bottles…

“In Heaven there is no beer, that is why we drink it here…”

And THAT’s exactly how corporate church operates. You give the money, they get the beer.

I am not sure there is any church that refers to its clergy as “Father” that also believes in The Rapture.

Read the whole bible. Didn’t see a single word about any “rapture”. Huh.

Boom boom boom, out go the lights.

Support your local tax free mega-church with its millionaire pastor who has his own private jet to spread the word.

MORE CROCKYDILES PLEASE!! I can almost hear their hissy voices when i read ’em

see this is why I dont drink and offer at Church

Larry is doing the sensible thing. I heard some churches use that money for their own personal gain.

“Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish. Then you and your household shall eat there in the presence of the LORD your God and rejoice.” – Deuteronomy 14:26 (NIV).

Years ago…decades really, I was in a deep relationship with a woman my age until she determined that she played for the other team. Also, we went to the same church* Heartbreaking at the time, but I get it now. Sad as the breakup was, after the breakup, I got a letter from the church office offering their condolences about my “domestic issues” (um we weren’t living together), but I did pledge to offer x amount for my tithe and it was time to cough it up. Since this was before the Internet, I wasted an entire afternoon at the library to find a way to say f**k off in Latin.It was then that my relationship with organized religion started to deteriorate.

*Bonus fact: I learned later that the pastor who was trying to shake me down had multiple affairs with several (or many, accounts differ) women in the church. He was defrocked and ultimately wound up selling used cars. It was a long time ago and he might be dead now. I call that a win/win.

Thank God for the believers. Think of life without the threat of an afterlife. With the sole arbitrator of morals being the government.

To paraphrase a Star Fleet Captain… “what does God need with money?”

Thank god I’m an atheist…

I think they have that whole Rapture concept backwards. The way God has explained it to me is the Evil folks are the ones who will disappear to be tormented in their own personal Hell. The rest of us get to stay here and return to the Garden of Eden to live in peace till the end of days.

What accent is that from using????

coincidentally (lucky 13) dropped RSCs, above, are also featured in today’s Ripley’s Believe It Or Don’t, ’spaining..> "red solo™ cups are a popular souvenir when leaving the united states due to their fame in american movies

www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2019/11/10

The comments here certainly show that it’s not just religious people who are self-righteous.

Yep, that’s exactly how phony every ‘house of worship and fleecing’ is on this planet.

The big difference is, I have evidence that gives me good reason to be confident that beer exists.

“The youth pastor fell asleep in staff meeting. So we laid some clothes on the chairs and exited quietly.

“Then we blew a trumpet”

— Somewhat old joke I heard several years ago. Not unlike Stephan’s.

Just another lie from “the church”.

Sadly, this is exactly how many religions work. “Pay us or burn forever.” Or alternately if you pay them enough money they can pray your dead loved one to heaven.

I’m a Christian, and I find this offensive. Not the comic itself— the accuracy of it. Pastis has some guts bringing a major con game to light, I’ll say that for him.

Church history- tithing was made mandatory in 585 at the Synod of Macon. Tithe or be excommunicated. It was used to keep the coffers filled and the peons in line. And churches still adhere to this mess. Extortion indeed.

Larry’s minster is too clever! If he can coax Larry into doing good, though, bully for him, I say!

Someone should do that to Donald Trump.

“Officer I drop-kicked that child in self defense.” -One violent pig

Isn’t that a tad illegal, Larry?

Funniest one that I’ve seen in a while. Actually made me LOL for a while!

100th pin!!!!

As a Christian. This seems both ethical and unethical at the same time.