Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 31, 2019

Ned just wants the candy for himself.

Isn’t that what Halloween is all about, traumatizing?

Little greedy punks deserve it.

Eh … don’t worry about traumatizing. They won’t believe it until it happens.

Not me. I’m almost 60 but look 30.

I’d do that but it’s too cold out and I don’t get many kids, for a few years I didn’t get any.

enjoy the skinny bodies and big hair and the energy to stay up for 48 hours straight get 2 hours of sleep and do it all over again

At my age there is one thing I never do on Halloween. Look in the mirror. ;-)

An article on the Canadian national news last night: A Halloween haunted house decided to recruit volunteers from the neighbourhood seniors residence to pop out of coffins (borrowed from the funeral home next door) and scare people. No makeup was needed. Happy Halloween everyone.

Even the pumpkins look grouchy

While a teacher in the 1970’s and 1980’s, I once told a class that one day years hence, they would look in the mirror and see their grandparents. Naturally, they laughed. I wonder how many are laughing now.

Aaaaand, here’s your sign.

Needs to be shod with black socks and sandals to complete the image.

Any kids that dare come up for candy can have some as long as they STAY OFF THE @#$% GRASS!

Said the Climate Alarmist…

Careful, Harriet, he can easily turn the sign a couple inches so the arrow points toward you.

The male of the human species decidedly American whose sacred creed is, “I don’t give a damn any more.”

You know you’ve reached the age, when you look in the mirror and realize: “Oh my God, I’ve become my old man!”

That would be horrid!

Best. Costume. Ever. Although I did like the cosplay T-shirt that read: “Error 404. Costume Not Found.”

I’m almost 80 and look 90 …

My junior high library had an anatomy book on the shelves that had black & white photos of unclad M/F as teenagers, young adults, and finally as geriatric adults. While the first two female pics were rewarding me at age 12, the photo of the white-haired overweight male geezer was disturbing…and now I see that same image in my bathroom mirror. Boo!

Progressive Insurance now has a series of funny ads about turning into your parents after you buy a home. The horror!

Sheer genius !!!! I might do that tonight…lol

H I L A R E O U S .

I have a stepson who is 30 and acts 9 and it’s not an act ,don’t brag about after 9

Take it to the ultimate level and put those words on a headstone.

The trauma is when he adds “if you are lucky”

Thanks for the belly laugh for the day.

As a young man, I had the good fortune to have worked as an orderly in a convalescent home (today’s senior care facility). Spent three months working with the aged, the very aged, and the abled/disabled. I say fortunate, because that experience left me with absolutely no illusions as to what lay in my future and the future of every person on earth. Made reaching my mid-80’s much less stressful. Not fun and not easy, but with few depressing surprises. It’s called the age of adjustments.

I scared everyone at work today…told them I was dressed as a telemarketer

I once did a makeup job that even scared some of the Adults escorting the kids around.

Liquid Latex, liberally applied to my face by just pouring some into the palm of my hand and splatting it on. Over and over.

It came out with a mess with lumps and tatters that looked like a burn victim’s scars with some of the skin peeling off in strips.

I wore and old “Wizard’s Robe” with a hood and the whole mess was pretty gross looking, especially with a bit of white Grease Paint rubbed on the parts that weren’t tattered.

If you really want to traumatize kids, explain in detail where they came from… and that their parents continue to enjoy that process.

The truth is out there!