Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 19, 2020

“I have taken enough of your time.”

I have wasted too much time on you.

Do you have a minute to take a poll?

Q1: are you boring?

Q2: is this poll boring?

“It was good talking with you”

This conversation is over.

Just another way to say shut up

Somehow, I thought it said Doctor of Linguiniology. That would be Rat, of course, the Teeny Weenie Linguine. He’s pasta all hope!

So what’s the translation for “It’s not you, it’s me”?

Who knew Rat was a cunning linguist?

Rick Roll cue in 3…2…1…

“I should probably let you go.” really translates to

“When I asked how you’re doing, I didn’t really want an answer.”

Back in the ‘50s there was this humor book full of “decodings.” (Does anyone remember the title?)Kid: "It doesn’t fit!" Meaning: The other kids have a different color.Teenager: “I’m sick of boys! They’re so childish and immature…”Meaning: If Mom doesn’t let me wear lipstick, I’ll DIE!Saleslady: “It’s a nice hat.”Meaning: It’s a terrible hat, but it’s cheap.

As the line goes: get outta here, Stanley.

Well done, Goat. Good job. You got the drop on him and made him eat his words.

I often find myself using similar techniques. It’s not about being bored per se, it’s about having a schedule, or something I really should be doing. Not including ironing my socks. Usually.

hey, great to see you!

somebody please shoot me now…

That first phrase saw much use on the telephone long before texting was invented.

Rat gets the tables turned on him.

As Calvin said so rightly, “verbing weirds language.” But English is notorious for adjectiving nouns, nouning verbs, verbing predicates (as in this strip) or entire sentences, or simply allowing a single word to occupy every known part of speech. It has wonderful flexibility.

If I only did social media ! … But wait I’m here ! … Croc Power !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

#truth

HA! Thats me! I hate talking on the phone …I prefer text or emails.

When I say that to someone on the phone, it’s usually because I’m fairly certain I’m boring the bejesus out of them. [By the way, Stephan, you’ve used the less common spelling of ‘bejesus’ there.]

My fav is, “Hi there! How are you?”

“I don’t remember your name.” (I’m terrible with names — and faces)

A friend of mine will call, actual talking, and we chat, the old fashioned way. Anyhow he will say I guess I’ll be going and then does an encore. That is when I say: “I guess, I’ll let you go then!”

“I should probably let you go” has been a way to end a conversation since long before social media.

well maybe it is you

In workplace meetings, anyone who says, “I’ll say this in conclusion” or “I’ll say this and shut up” really means “I’ve got another 45 minutes to an hour to go.”

“Stay in touch.”

Translation: "Please don’t call or write for a very, very, very long time!

Well I’ll let you get back to whatever it was you were doing.

How about: “Have a good one.” “One” what?…

it was so good to see you again

what was your name again…?

Social media can be so confusing.

What is the normal amount of bejeesus in a human body before it is bored, beaten, or otherwise removed from it?

Passive aggressive personality. Own that you are done with the conversation.

Odd, that people get so offended by the phrase, “I should probably let you go.” When I say it, it only means, “I really have to leave you now so I can go to the bathroom.” which, of course, I don’t want to actually say.

Rat, Rat, Rat

I see goat is apparently taking my yesterday’s comment to heart.

He didn’t tell her he is Deepthroat?

No, no, Rat, you’re boring the ******** out of everyone. Maybe if you were actually smarter.

TTYL

To add to the explanation is that a lot of people are bored the minute they are not the one doing the talking.

Tough swallowing your own medicine, ehh, Rat?

The Bejeesus, huh? Now that’s an extreme level of boredom!

Made me laugh.

How are you doing?

Translation: I don’t really give a crap and just want to move on to the next part.