Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 30, 2020

Be prepared!

If it wasn’t for my kids I would swear I have been social distancing my whole life.

Mines double that.

For sneezes, you’re going to need a longer pole.

Social distancing with what Jeff Dunham’s Jose Jalepeno would say, a steeeek.

I’ve been very surprised how much I miss being able to just go into town (only a couple of miles) to buy a widgit for my next project. The other day, the toilet seat hinge failed. I’m not going to go buy a replacement until it doesn’t feel like taking my life in my hands… so we’re using it very carefully!

I dunno, I’m a 6 foot pole and I’m pretty friendly.

“You adults get offa my lawn!”

I’ve been practicing social isolation for decades.

That’s nothing to sneeze at.

A man ahead of his time.

Bucky Katt’s anti social network seems a brilliant scheme in the light of hindsight!

Stay safe, everyone. We WILL get through this

Social distancing still isn’t very social.

i love social distancing – it’s just a shame that folks can’t be even more distant…

Never thought of that – might work …

Dear could up the caliber by installing a toilet plunger on the tip.

Go go gadget arms..

His moment has come.

He’s keeping it real

To be wielded effectively, I estimate the pole would need to be between 14 to 15 feet long, assuming uniform weight throughout its length.

[ ps — My comment should make it obvious that I don’t need to socially distance myself; others do it for me. ]

It won’t be long until " they " introduce a colour coded star to wear. GREEN means you’ve had and are immune and can socialize and go to work. YELLOW means you haven’t had it and haven’t been tested. RED means you’re infected now

For keeping scientists away, you’ll need a 3-meter pole.

Well, with the blistering incompetence coming from our “leadership” (HA!) in Washington, we have to take matters into our own hands, and yes, this also includes having the ability to laugh, however ironically at the mess we are in. BUT, yes, we will get through it in time, not because of “The Administration”, but rather IN SPITE of it!

How does this social distancing work? The parking lot at Walmart has been full every weekend.

True, that. Though I suppose this is the time when being introverted really comes in handy. I’m not lonely. I’m alone. …sigh

I went out once, after 8 days. I was going to shower 1st but then thought it would make more sense to shower AFTER.and besidesit contributes to social distancing. Even the blithe won’t get too close if I smell, um, natural. Think of all the mouthwash I can save, too!

Social stinkage!

I have an industrial N95 mask that I bought 5 or 6 years ago because I was sanding joint compound. It’s been very effective at making people social distance me at the supermarket.

I wonder how many times the curmudgeon has replaced the front window after wielding his 10 foot pole?

I get the mail the next day and wash well after touching it.

Dress riiiiight . . . DRESS!!

I’m a gamer. I’ve been social distancing for years and people have always mocked me for it. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?

Example of social distancing:

“If you see me coming, better step aside. A lotta men didn’t, a lotta men died.”

— Tennessee Ernie Ford

Living in the country on the Kentucky/ Tennessee State line, over 20 miles from a town of less then 6000 makes it really easy for me to practice social distancing. I’ve been doing it for years!

Brilliant

Curmudgeons of the World, UNITE!

Can’t touch this.

Next steps: Dig up the yard for a mine field and razor wire on top of and behind the fence.

As I mentioned elsewhere, yesterday…

I swear to God, if I see one more notice or hear one more talking head tell me to “Wash Your Hands”, I shall personally hunt that person down and throttle them with my over-sanitized, super scrubbed hands!

I will, of course, after the satisfactory strangulation, make sure I properly wash my hands…

Is he named Ove?

Rats! And here I thought I was ahead of my time.

Can he get the mail with that stick? That’s what I thought before I read the caption.

Instead of Social Distancing, which seems to bother people, why don’t we call it Asocial Mingling? (They’re both oxymorons, so what the heck.)

This current situation reminds me of I Robot by Isaac Asimov where people socialize only over the internet and dread actual contact with other people.

Hey you kids. Get off everyone’s lawn.

I have considered curmidging on occasion . . .

With a 10 foot pole by a 5 foot Russian.

I’ve enjoyed social distancing for years now.

That’s me, a curmudgeon. I have a doormat that says “Go Away!”

I see that in Nepal they are using the “ten-foot pole” to keep a good distance from suspects. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSc7FJFk_8U

Why do cartoonists so often draw the mailbox flag upside down?

No hugs, no hand shaking?Heaven!

I’d say more of a Misanthrope than a Curmudgeon.

Although the two do tend to occur as a Pair most of the time.

True pioneers get no respect! (:-)

Watch out for that eleven-foot Lithuanian, though.

I got my curmudgeon certificate years ago.

Wladislaw Podolsky, a ten-foot Pole, said he didn’t want to touch the guy, either.

Social distancing means that people who work for firms such as Gallup or Zogby have to conduct 10-foot polls,