Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 21, 2020

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member over 4 years ago

    Standard procedure for palmists, soothsayers, fortune tellers, psychics, etc. is to throw out a dozen vague observations, then ignore all of them except the ones that KINDA came close and claim a brilliant success rate. And, century after century, suckers keep falling for it.

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    paranormal  over 4 years ago

    That witch!

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    eastern.woods.metal  over 4 years ago

    And 50 more after that for what day you can actually get into the store after waiting in line. Oh and don’t forget your mask

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    Alabama Al  over 4 years ago

    Go to Costco and find someone who stocks the shelves. Offer him or her $10 if they will give a call when a new shipment of TP comes in on a truck. More sure and a lot cheaper than utilizing a soothsayer.

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    Bilan  over 4 years ago

    If she’s wrong and there is no toilet paper that day, those tarot cards will finally be useful.

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    Sanspareil  over 4 years ago

    Just don’t go to Costco and the bog roll problem is solved.

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    Yontrop  over 4 years ago

    The Non Sequitur for yesterday is two ‘likes’ away from 500.

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    Differentname  over 4 years ago

    Instead of a ’crystal ball, the new normal for mediums will be a glass shield

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    strictures  over 4 years ago

    Every time I go to Costco, they have plenty of their Kirkland brand TP, but no Charmin Ultra Soft, which is far better!

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    MosheWaisberg  over 4 years ago

    he can pay her in toilet paper squares – it’s the new currency

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    Pedmar Premium Member over 4 years ago

    I was going to my local Kroger about midday and they were always out of toilet paper. So the other day I decided to try going first thing in the morning and, sure enough, they had some. Whew!

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    hfergus Premium Member over 4 years ago

    Dwarf fortune teller escapes from prison. Headline: Small medium at large. ( awaiting groans now)

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    westcarleton  over 4 years ago

    She’s behind the times; Costco has had TP for a month or more.

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    Masterskrain  over 4 years ago

    So, if “Psychics” can predict the future, why haven’t they all won the lottery by now, or only invest in stocks that will go up?? Why do they work for tatty carnivals, and out of cheap storefronts??

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    JDP_Huntington Beach  over 4 years ago

    Whenever a palm reader asks to read your palm, do it! Ask them if you’re going to murder another palm reader. Let the gasping spew of uhmmm’s and ahh’s begin.

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    Old Girl  over 4 years ago

    It’s Tuesday. DON’T pass it on.

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    well-i-never  over 4 years ago

    We were doing ok until the Minnesotan’s felt fine clogging the highways on Fridays and cleaning out the Wisconsin stores. Minnesotan’s, you can’t live with ‘em, you can’t stuff ’em in a sack.

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    dflak  over 4 years ago

    I’ve heard that the reason there is no toilet paper is that people used to go to work to poop. I hardly ever took a dump at work or when out at a restaurant or at a gas station or rest stop. Hotels yes. Other public buildings hardly ever. I guess that makes me the odd man out.

    I’ll simply believe what I am told about this without fact checking. There are too many other rumors out there to be able to track down the trivial ones.

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    David Henderson  over 4 years ago

    I did the palm reader bit once. It was at a fair. I went in and put my $5 on the table. She was a nice looking woman. She took my hand and started the palm reading bit. Then all of a sudden she looked up at me in horror. She jumped back. She screamed at me to take my money and leave. She then ran out the back of the tent as fast as she could. That was years ago and I have never figured out what happened.

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    1953Baby  over 4 years ago

    Have you seen some of the prices on amazon? Price of an item: $16.95. Shipping: $59.95. . .talk about price gouging. . .the guy’s not rich enough????

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    bobpeters61  over 4 years ago

    The new paranormal?

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    For a Just and Peaceful World  over 4 years ago

    The toilet paper is back in the stores. Now, where is the beef?

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    submachine  over 4 years ago

    PT Barnum was right

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 4 years ago

    Masks are the new normal. I wonder what other changes we will inflict upon ourselves. Sort of like the ‘duck and cover’ of long ago.

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    Linguist  over 4 years ago

    With the mask covering her face, the sucker can’t see that she’s laughing her a$$ off at him.

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    varnason  over 4 years ago

    You would think at least one of the psychics would have predicted the pandemic.

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    Herb L 1954  over 4 years ago

    So now Drumpf is reading palms?The clown hair gave him away.Flush the Orange Turd in 2020.Maggot rally in Ypsilanti,Michigan today ;(

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    marilynnbyerly  over 4 years ago

    The good news is toilet paper just arrived. The bad news is that the manager is selling it out the back door for triple the price to avoid being arrested for price gouging.

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    Alan Steenhouwer  over 4 years ago

    They restock daily, you just have to get there early enough. Even limiting people to one package each, it’s usually gone by 10am. On rare occasion the shipment comes late.

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    Ermine Notyours  over 4 years ago

    Abraham Lincoln came back from the fortune teller beaming, “She said I am going to be president for life!”

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    Lablubber   over 4 years ago

    Even I could see this one coming.

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    the lost wizard  over 4 years ago

    You’re future is hazy. Yeah, I know that I said that last time, but now I really mean it.

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    Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo]  over 4 years ago

    March of 2021 and we could still be this way.

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    Brian  Premium Member over 4 years ago

    Locally, the supermarkets and drug stores have some stocks of TP. It’s mostly off-brand, no doubt scratchy stuff, but if you were desperate it would be there. Occasionally I see name brands like Scott or Northern, but I still wouldn’t use them. I’m confident that by the time my supply is in danger, Charmin Ultra-soft will be available again.

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    sperry532  over 4 years ago

    I worked for a New Age publisher for a few years. After 9/11, they had one of their managers write a book “demonstrating” that astrology had predicted it. They made a profit on it. Shameless.

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    sufamelico  over 4 years ago

    Didn’t Nancy R, Reagan followed the advices of Chrystal ball “Advisers”to help St. Ronnie run our country’s affairs ? (Asking for mi neighbors dog)

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    katzenbooks45  over 4 years ago

    I went to my local supermarket and there was no toilet paper. I went to Wal-Mart and it was fully stocked.

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    lindz.coop Premium Member over 4 years ago

    And another $50.00 for the TP.

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    sergioandrade Premium Member over 4 years ago

    Laugh-In bit from the ’60’s man goes to fortune teller. she looks in ball and says “I see you meeting a woman she will give you bad advise and take your money.” Man pays her and leaves then fortune teller says “This thing is starting to work,”

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    Bicycle Dude  over 4 years ago

    I work in a grocery store and get asked that and what about flour and yeast a lot.

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