Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 25, 2020

He will pick up his Nobel Prize right after he does his laundry.

He probably thinks he can accomplish item 3 by building a bridge out of popsicle sticks.

Go vegan, pig. More time for M-theory.

4. Nap (gotta save the best for last!)

It’s all a simulation, and the programming doesn’t go that deep. There, done. Now for the nap.

Atom splitting humour…..

Way to go, pig – no guts, no glory…

5. Convince Rat to assist in #3 by building @Sherlock Watson’s popsicle stick bridge within the SLAC National Accelerator chamber.

Number 2 seems a bit ambitious.

Number 3 involves cheese.

Don’t do #3. If you do, people will constantly be bugging you when you’re out mowing or buying milk.

Have to give the ol’ intellect a break sometimes.

That’s really simple, and it doesn’t require string theory, quantum wampum or dancing waves of light. Just drive over the Golden Gate into San Francisco! Solved!!!

Sky’s the limit, Pig!

If you’re gonna go, you might as well go big.

Instead of a Honey – Do List … tis a Piggy -Do list ! … Croc Power !

That’s pretty much like my list for today, except the first is to put today’s beer on ice!

That’s it, Pig. Go big or go to bed.

Pig may be wiser than i was. i worked out #3 on his list decades ago. Unfortunately i cut the grass immediately after and the paper I worked it all out on, landed in the grass and I shredded it with the mower, then couldn’t remember the solution to write it out again.

Sounds like my “To do” list for yesterday, except I replaced #3 with drink beer. # 4 was, take nap.

Yes. Go REAL big.

Pay a visit next door to Calvin, he and Hobbes just conquered time and space.

From the sublime to the ridiculous.

I’m reading a biography of Einstein’s first wife that claims she came up with the basic theory of relativity.

I was reading yesterday that some Americans can’t afford clean drinking water. Is it cheaper to buy milk?

Most times he does nothing….POOR PIGGY!

You go Pig. Get Papa Croc on that with you.

A pig that thinks big.

But then stay home and accomplish nothing

Let’s give Pig credit for formulating that goal. That must have been yesterday’s goal.

Always have big goals. Dream Big

Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Einstein’s concept still a theory – not a law?

I wonder how the Crocs are doing?

I bet Pig put #3 there just so he could String Rat along. That’s my Theory and I’m sticking with it.

c’mon let’s have the CROCS!

That is one ambitious Pig! I’m not doing anything, today except proving Euclid’s 5th Postulate.

I had a screen saver that allowed you to make post its on my computer at work. I always included to do items like"Cure cancer" and “End world hunger” along with the mundane items.

If this all works out, tomorrow it’s on to a coronavirus vaccine.

A wise man stays far from The Standard Model to avoid all his peers doubting his sanity.

1. Make coffee.

2. Read GoComics.

3. Practice law from home office.

4. Play World of Tanks.

5. Watch Battlestar Galactica.

When contemplating particle physics, it is wise to recall Terry Gilliam’s only spoken line in “Holy Grail”.

Shhh!

Good luck pig. We’re about at that point again where physics is too messy, and someone (it Could be Pig), gets a clear vision and simplifies it into 3 or 4 “simple” statements.

One and two are so simple that I could accomplish them.

Number three is a bit trickier. But you could use discredited String Theory to tie General Relativity and current “standard” Particle theory into a neat Quantum Knot/not. (That was a joke, son.)

I’ve succeeded at #3 several times. But then I wake up.

As far as #3 goes…if the tachyonic differential s relative the quantum ratio of the time dilation event horizon, then Behringer’s principle clearly states that the particle should be considered to be in a constant state of flux. Everybody knows that.

This is the same pig who doesn’t understand the meaning of words like, “ajar”?

he could of put 4 instead of 3 (so it can be an actual to-do list

Ah … they’re just stringin’ me along.

I love this one. At this point Pig’s reputation is well established, so you’re expecting a ludicrously low goal.

wow