Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 30, 2021

Consider yourself lucky, Pig; she seems like the Starbucks type.

“No, everybody knows you’re a pig!”

Knowing Pig, he will mess up the order and drink it before he gets to drop it off.

Pig should offer her a side of bacon while testing the latest mattresses.

Can’t neighbors just have a cup of joe together as friends (or acquaintances)? Nancy probably thinks not.

… and be sure to sanitize it before you leave.

N. That is the Patterson’s Preschool Dentistry rugby helmets. Know your Canadian history concerning coal mining, Mr. Pastis.

I still luv you, Pig.

Pig almost got a foot in the door.

It’s obvious that Nancy prefers Lattes before Swine!

Well, what did you expect, Pig? It’s the age of Amazon™.

Luring women into beastiality obviously requires a wittier pickup line.

And don’t forget to ring the bell, Pig.

Probably for the best, if Pigita found out about this she’d kick his pork!

Welcome to the club , Pig , as president , I have never met a pick-up line that worked !

Wonder what a Rat pick – up line would be ?

As someone who drives for DoorDash, it took me a minute to figure out the joke here.

Maybe she loves pork chops, Pig. If that doesn’t work, offer her some ham and baco… Oh Whoops. Sorry about that, Pig.

I just love RAT on the pillow today .

She doesn’t deserve you Pig, let her get her own coffee!!!

Vanilla lattes. Yuck. Date someone who drinks real coffee.

Where is Pigita, you cad?

nice touch, the pillow

Do that and pray for ants.

Ask her out to the bayou for swamp coffee.

Don’t worry, Pig. She’s not your species, anyways.

What did the world do to a cup of coffee?

what about pigita?

It’s not always the thought that counts, Pig thought he could pick up Nancy with only the cost of a coffee. In my experience, a Nancy is FAR more expensive (the woes of an ex-wife).

If you actually want the best coffee not a coffee drink, gas station coffee is the best. I’m not talking about some little place where the same pot has been on the burner all day. Some place like Bucee’s where they make over a thousand pots a day. The coffee is literally just minutes old and a large is just a buck.

What would Pigita say?

How will Nancy drink coffee if she has no mouth?

She’s certainly willing to have coffee but not PIG!

“Nip it in the bud”…..interspecies dating that is.

That worked a lot better now than a year ago.

You know, I can get a better simple “large” cup of coffee, at 1/4 the price, with none of the “barista” lip, with no waiting at my local gas station than I can at Starbucks. Granted, I have to serve myself, but that’s okay too. I’m a generous tipper. 8>)

She knows, when you lay down with pigs all you ever get is dirty.

I guess that she’s not into inter-species dating….

Have a good drop-off line when you get her the coffee, Pig.

Well, at least he hadn’t already bought it for her.

Be more explicit…“I was wondering if I could take you out for a cup of coffee sometime?”

Pig, maybe try to get back with Pigita. She understands you.

Pig did say coffee “some time” which can be a long long time.

It’s just that Neighbor Nancy is not your type, Pig.

Neither is Pigita, may she be gone.

Un-die Sweet Fanny!

Where there is an omnipotent Cartoon-Boy, there is hope for you, Pig….

from what I here from other people, I’m surprised you even had pickup lines