Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 28, 2021

Bugs Bunny: I KNEW i should’ve taken that Left Turn in Albuquerque.

Can Danae, the maverick, follow directions?… Could Captain Peter “Wrongway” Peachfuzz?

It’s the Curse of Oak Island!

We had a friend who stayed overnight. We explained to her that the way to her appointment was to go down the hill (about 100 feet), turn right and then immediately left. Then right at the tee and left at the next intersection. Note the alternation.

She and a passenger went down the hill, turned right and (we later found out) turned right again. Then right at the next main intersection (which was a tee), and right again on “a street I thought I recognized”. She DID get there. The passenger reported that she had said “You need to turn left here” when she took the “wrong right”… and was ignored. The only thing that saved her is that we live on the inside of a loop-road, so BOTH ends can work (though one’s obviously shorter) to get you to town.

I had tried to understand why she didn’t have some device to help her navigate, but have come to realize that a voice saying “turn right” would do her NO GOOD AT ALL because she has no clue (in real time) which way is “right”.

Like a stubborn Danae…

A map. The original GPS. The voice giving directions is in the seat beside the driver, or sometimes in the back.

Why does Yakety Sax feel so appropriate for this story?

That was too easy.

This is why we’ve rarely seen her friends – she keeps losing them in swamps.

In 1980 I learned that there are TWO rights: a civilian right & a military right both of which go in opposite directions.

Kate is an (Anne) Bonny lass.

Okay, Danae can’t read a compass. But neither Fern, nor super-genius, nor super-human alien have a sense of direction either? Someone in the crew would have a clue.

I can’t tell if Danae is bad at reading maps and doesn’t want to admit it, or if she’s actually that paranoid.

To maintain the storyline, they all left their phones at home.

Yup. I like to say “I’m never lost, the place I’m going is sneaky.”

According to stories, in earlier US history, ‘green’ military recruits were taught the march count left, right, left, right by placing a wisp of hay on the left boot and straw on the right. Sergeants would count hayfoot, strawfoot until the pattern could gradually move to left/right.

I had a former girlfriend who had no difficulty with left and right but was completely buffaloed by north, south, east, and west “because they change every time you turn around!”

My guess is that almost everybody is better at one or the other — absolute directions (relative to the Earth) or personal directions (relative to oneself) — and that anyone trying to supply someone else with such directions should start out by asking which kind they prefer.

The other part of that degree of consideration is finding out whether they’re visual or auditory learners. I’m strongly visual and would much rather have map drawn for me than half a dozen repetitions of the equivalent set of verbal directions.

Danae has a theory that there was a conspiracy in the creation of the map.

@concretionist – Your friend DID have a “device” helping her navigate: her passenger. She just chose to ignore it.

Danae is geographically challenged.

I visited Maryland with a friend a long time ago and we asked directions to the Metro station. We got… go a mile down the road, turn right; go a mile down the road, turn right; go a mile down the road, turn right; go a mile down the road, turn right. I said, won’t that put us right back here?, and our hostess looked at me like I was an idiot. The day I discovered not all places have orthogonal road systems.

I have one friend with such a poor sense of direction that her husband and kids will ask her which way to turn, and then do the opposite of what she says. Works every time.

What could possibly go wrong?

Where did Danae get such a bad-ass Jack In The Box?

Kate forgot that Danae lives in a world of her own with a very Unique geography.

(After digging) “Well, no treasure here. Oh well.”

“Wait! Your map shows the X over there. Why are we digging here?”

“The lighting is better.”

“Nothing to worry about,” and “Danae” in the same conversation. Yeah, that makes sense.