For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for December 29, 2021

Dang it, Jim! You got that right!

Frankly, I ENJOY fixing things myself. Especially when I am successful.

My mother often had her elderly father come over to do the so called “man” chores after her divorce. He and my grandma came over for dinner, then he’d do the few chores she asked for, then the 4 of us sat down for a game of euchre. Fun memories.

Elly if he wants to do something LET HIM!

Preach it! I can attest from numerous first hand observations that the vast majority of those who are (for lack of a better term at the moment) “on in years” deeply resent attempts by younger family members to curtail their activities and/or “help them along”, simply because they assume they are fragile, docile, senile, crotchety or any variations of the like. In reality, it is perceived as a threat to their independence, and it is often deeply resented. I have time and time again seen people approaching the century mark who were for all practical purposes self sufficient. But then the well meaning busybody steps in and tries to take over their routine. And when that happens, watch the older loved one run out of steam in short order. If they can still cut it on their own, let them. Yes, I know there will be exceptions to the rule here and there. But I have lost WAY too many loved ones when the “do gooder” tries to step in and take over their lives. Trust me on that one.

There is a lot of enjoyment in making things. And making things work if they were broken, or in need of just a little ‘tweaking’. And a man of Grandpa’s age has a lifetime of experience in doing things.

Elly is a real PITA!!

It’s no big wonder why he lives so far away from Elly…

There was an apartment complex we used to live at that I did maintenance. One of the resident’s older parents would come stay for the winter. The father saw us out around the property sweeping up and such and came to the office asking if he could clean and sweep up around the complex (20 buildings with 8 apartments in each) and then later when we were getting ready to do some painting, if he could get some paint and paint the handrails. He had worked all his life with his hands and just wanted to “stay busy”. Wasn’t asking for anything except being allowed to work each day.

Sometimes those we love want us to take it easy whether we like it or not. Sometimes we like it. Sometimes, not.

That big, heavy dog may be more than Grandad can handle if Farley spots a squirrel or two. He’ll be down and can’t get up.

Take the 100 year old farmer off of his tractor and he’s dead before he hits the ground. Let the willing and able work (just keep an eye out for them, and OFFER to help. The offer alone is greatly appreciated… shows care and respect : )

My wife better stay away from there or she’ll remodel the whole house

Pretty sure most people would NOT turn down an offer for free repairs. I wouldn’t!

Yeah, my Dad is 82 and can’t sit still for long. We have to make sure there is something for him to fix while he’s visiting or he will go stir crazy!

A member of the Greatest Generation being told what to do by a generation known only for hippies and heroin. Go figure.

Older men especially need to feel useful to stay healthy and young.

I like small fixing projects. Those aren’t chores to me….

Dad is taking care of his girl. Let him. That makes him happy – to be useful.

My dad came to visit, and did the same thing….but he was always happiest when he was “tinkering” with something.

Hopefully, he won’t try to fix the dog.

I agree with “this is summerdog”, when someone comes into my house and starts fixing something unasked, they are saying that I am not willing or able to keep my house up to their standards, and that I don’t have the right to be in charge of my own stuff. If grandpa needs to do something useful, he can ask her for something that she wants him to do.

What the heck is her problem? The man isn’t infirm! He needs something to do, so give him some space.

I can see my father in Grandpa Jim. We didn’t live all that far apart so we visited back and forth quite a bit. If there was anything that needed minor repairs at my house, it was a race between him and my husband to see who could fix it first.

My mom does the same. My husband used to follow her around trying to make her sit down and relax until dad told him to stop. That is how she relaxes.

Elly you should know the saying about idle hands…

I learned the hard way and too late to do anything about it. Like Ellie I thought I was being kind and thoughtful to my Mom. I would cook most of the foods for holiday dinners and my daughter would help with clean up. I would try to do whatever I could to let her relax. Years after she passed I realized I had robbed her of things she enjoyed doing and it will always be on my conscience. Hope Ellie realizes much sooner than I did.

My mother-in-law was the same way. I loved it! Just this morning I cleaned some linoleum she’d found left over from redoing our basement bathroom and installed under the kitchen sink.

Maybe Ellie, in the first panel, knows a thing or two about squeaking stairs that her Dad doesn’t. I wouldn’t let anyone put nails through my treads either! Now, if he were tightening the wedges in the stringers on the underside ….

The care is infectious.

Do you just LOOK for people to nag, Elly!?