Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 28, 2021

Make a snow woman and maybe he will leave behind little legacies.

So, his dream is to become a vegan dinner for twelve?

Those are words written on water.

Wow.

Some guys have zero ambitions.

That’s the same answer he gave at the job interview when asked where he sees himself in 5 years.

And what about your legacy, Rat? An acting role immortalized by Pastis?

We always made snow-critters whose nose was a rock. Of course, we usually only got one snow per year, and so little that it was often pretty hard to roll a decent sized snow-critter body WITHOUT rocks in ’em. Yes, we lived in New Mexico, where paved roads were rare, and so were lawns.

Gonesoon will leave no carbon footprint of its existence.

Take a picture of him. We still have photos and movies of past snowmen going back almost a century.

Maybe four hunks of charcoal as well

a puddle to drink and a carrot for sustenance, if we all could be so lucky.

My ambition is to eat breakfast.

The cold logic of a stoic philosopher.

I can’t really imagine what the most ambitious snowman could ever achieve, Rat.

We all will be gone soon like Gonesoon, sooner or later. That means even you, Rat. One day we is a snowman, and another day we becomes part of a puddle. And then maybe vapour, and then something else. But we is no more but what we is made of, that which was there before we was made, will still be there changing forms and turning into something else or someone else.

I’m sensing a theme here…is Pastis having an existential crisis?

And five black coal.

Gonesoon is a realist !

Modest ambitions are the best and the smartest.

Gonesoon will become grass that needs to be mowed ! Why ask the question Rat ?

A legacy is something everyone wants. Yet, I’m not getting close to finding it.

Dim Joe the Snowman

A wilted carrot.

I’d settle for having enough snow in NY to even build a snowman…we have barely dipped below freezing all year so far.

Some guys keep it real.

…and a small pile of coal…to light your fire, RAT!

Don’t forget: a few lumps of coal.

What about the coals?

Kind of like what old “Brandon” leaves behind when he leaves the room. Except that’s not a carrot. Maybe it was a few hours ago though

“Gonesoon”… from my experience, it takes months for him to leave, and then he reappears when you least expect him to.

I’d say happy memories for the kids who made him, and the family who enjoyed his presence in their yard for a time.

The man does know his future…..

So, why is it that I get the pile and the stick?

In the summer, we get the Monsoons. In the winter, we get the Gonesoons.

If I’d created a sentient snowman I’d probably invest in a large, non-defrosting freezer for the off season (or maybe cryogenics would actually work in this case).

Snowman was talking about reality, not ambition. Looking the future square in the face.

yeah, don’t speak of the fossil fuel that’ll be lying in that puddle together with the decaying carrot.

How can a snowman talk

I need to remember how dark this strip can get.

Nothing wrong with modest ambitions. Call it “realism” if that makes you feel better….