Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 19, 2022

In a few minutes, you’ll be great, Pig. Or, you were dumb a few minutes ago.

Life. Summed up in 3 panels.

Okay then.

Nope. Not even with beer. Still don’t care.

Also, it makes the only women who’d be interested in Rat look pretty.

… and that politicians are the mere squishy thing you step in at dog parks.

Burn!

Oooo! Slipped that one in!

^^^^You’re all okay by me.

Ever tried looking at a mirror when you is drunk, Rat?

“To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

♪ in heaven there is no beer, that’s why we drink it here…

I was wondering where I’d fit into this equation, then realized I really don’t care. Beer is good.

By asking that question, Pig proved Rat’s opinion of him is correct.

That doesn’t even make sense.

Oy…

The answer is obvious as the song says “In Heaven there is no beer, that’s why we drink it here”! Rat’s final destination is debatable however!

“It makes me a jolly good fellow”

Beer makes you smart. It made Bud wiser.

Awwwwww…..

A rat and a pig walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Is this a joke?”

But he’s still a rat.

The beer must be working.

One more and it will make him seem like he doesn’t give a rat’s patoot. And he is much the better for it.

“In vino, veritas !“ ( well, in BEER, anyway.)

“Malt does more than Milton can/To justify God’s ways to man.”

Although come to think of it, do they use malted barley in beer any more? Apart from craft breweries, I mean.

Nectar of the gods.

“…and great me seem like I care” ? Is that drunk talk or am I missing something?

Well, Pig, you just found out. You’re okay.

I stopped drinking on Monday. a Valentines’ gift to myself.

it made for a rough week.

it’s hard to put up with everyone/everything when I am sober.

whatever category, Pig to many could be deemed a loser, but with mustard based sauce he is best of the best; along with a side of cornbread hold the sugar and he achieves divinity.

I always thought people drank too much beer because there’s a better party in the bathroom.

Why ask Why we senior Milwaukeean’s ask?

And don’t forget that one more beer makes you think you can dance.

“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.”

“In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.”

“That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

Thought I needed to be a lumberjack to be okay.

Rat is overdue for an intervention. But the how do you help someone who won’t help himself?

“I don’t drink because I’m dry. I don’t drink because I’m blue. I just drink, pretty mama, to get along with you.”—floating blues line.

Rat has spoken. Don’t think on it too hard, Pig, lest you realize what Rat just did to you!

Days seem like hours, hours seem like minutes …

Pig, that’s not okay

Well great