Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 23, 2022

Those stamps must have nano tracking chips.

“Oh gawd, he’s gonna come over here and bore us to death! AHHHHHHHHHH!”

It’s a gym thing.

Stamp out all philatelists! Don’t join’em, lick’em. Cancel them!

Men need a hobby, like tennis or philately…

I’ve got a hobby: re-reading Lady Chatterly

(shhh: Do you know what happens when you deregister a philatelist? I won’t say, but I will tell you it can get really sticky!)

Eh, yes Pig, whatever does philanthanlistrophist means?

do ferever stamps give a philatelist eternal life?

That’s handy. If you need some emergency philately, you can just call your neighbour to save you.

Was Pig thinking a philatelist is a Philistine?

Philately will get you nowhere.

If your a philatelist, you always have stamps that your wife can use for letters.

You might give one your “stamp” of approval! Watch out for the numismatics though!

Looks like Goat’s been glued to that screen all afternoon…

never mind Pig, they usually don’t bite…

Phil Ate Lists? Why? What kinds of lists? Were they shopping lists? So many questions…

This resonances oddly with today’s Garfield.

Stamp collecting is the philatelist rage.

Nope, first instincts were right.

Its someone with an oral fixation.

better philately than never…?

I love learning new words

In 1765, the philatelists acted out.

Looks like Stephan is a Benny Hill fan.

Last panned: What pig said

Do they like Philly cheese steaks. I’ll join

LOL!

I actually went and looked up “philatelist” on merriam-webster.com; it’s a fancy word for “stamp collector”.

A great big “richard”…

Alright Pastis… this one gets my stamp of approval.

Stephan ‘mailed’ this one in, didn’t he?

Mom was a philatelist and Dad was a numismatist. A mixed marriage.

I can live with philatelists. Numismatics scare me a little and I’m terrified of Lepidopterists.

Philatelists are stamp collectors.

Don’t tell pig a pianist lives across the street.

Very funny!

philatelists lick their habit.

Something: exists. Some random guy on the internet: outrage intensifies

Would that be neighbor Bob?

That is still very scary but for a much different reason……

Sounds like a sticky situation

Poll: Do you think there should be a new character in PEARLS BEFORESWINE?

Pig seems to think at first that a philatelist is a sort of pedophile or something, so why is he wearing the same look of unbounded glee he usually sports when something great happens?

Now would be a good time for them to meet a stamped addressed antelope.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WOotE4vblw

Stamp stealers must love that app.

Quoting film critic Philip French:

I don’t know much about philately, but I know what I lick.

Can you Register as a philatelist with Return Receipt Requested?

Philatelists are stamp collectors,which lets out “The Crocs”.

And while we’re at it,ban all people whose parents were thespians.

Did you hear about the Donald Trump stamp?

It’s worth keeps changing several times a day.

Trump’s 75-million pals wouldn’t. Just saying….

What? The Crocks?

There’s a registry for that?

I live next door to a couple of thespians and a homosapien. The thespians are always running around with the epidermis showing! On the next block there’s a guy who everyone thinks is a pedantic goon!

He’s worried about something like philately but he’s the one running around naked. Next they’ll be asking about Donald Duck – never wears pants but has three nephews living with him.

Ya know that they’ll soon wanna ban Dr. Suess. Or have a fit over the PotatoHeads body parts. Or even the way the green M&M looks like.

What…?

You’ve got to be kidding….

No! Really?

Who gets all worked up over this nonsense?

Those dolts? I shouldda guessed.

Jumpin’ Jesus on a Pogo Stick! Those folks need to pick up a safe hobby – like cleaning loaded rifles.

At this dangerous school: Boys and girls matriculate together. And they have to share a curriculum. I hear the drama teacher is a Thespian! The sports coaches score high on the Kinesiology scale!

Lack of knowledge has never been an impediment to hate and fear.

What do you call a collector of stamp collectors?

Looks like that map is having some first day issues.

Pig, a philatelist is someone who is interested in philately…

Almost as bad as pedagogs.

Pig, we’ll mail you an explanation.

Oh, also a request for a donation and a membership application!

Will the puns never end!?!

Or is it “It’s not over until the philately sings”?

And watch out for the pedagogues.

Philately will get you nowhere

Yes you should, Pig. Seems the kind of thing you’d be into. Problem is, you’d have the stamps stuck all over you.

Hey, I knew this one! I actually KNEW this one!

Stamp Collecting was a huge hobby back in the day, I wonder what hobby is number 1 now? I know we have 20,000,000 new shooters in America since COVID.

Yes, ask first.

reluctantly, this has my stamp of approval

Oh, don’t waste time worrying about what a philatelist actually is, Pig. Just remind yourself that you’re not one, so of course their presence should be reason for fear, panic and hatred.

They’re mostly harmless, Pig (like “mostly peaceful”), except when they prattle on and on about their hobby and all its minutiae….

What’s a philatelist?

They philail you until you beg for mercy.

Do known philatelists need to register?

Why is Phil eating all of the lists?

I understand why Pig is so upset. We philatelists are always bothering neighbors for their used stamps.

The heck? Oh my

Oh, okay