Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 06, 2022

But “I don’t care” does.

We used to call that “the elevator pitch”.

Also, alas, the “he’s too ignorant to buy it” pitch.

Actually, it does fit. It is just that many people will say TLDR (Too Long, Didn’t Read).

It may not fit on a desk plate, but it would make a great macrame sign.

I had a senior director who had a saying on his wall (facing his desk where passing executives could not see it): “Be brief, be brilliant, be gone.”

It’s in the lines above the bottom

That have all the interesting bits

Time is money but money w/o purpose, people or context is pretty desolate

How about What?!?!

Google: Thomas Watson Sr. sitting in front of the “Think” sign

What happened to the “I’m so happy to be here” grovel??

When we write up our memos we put in a BLUF—“Bottom Line Up Front.”

We, ok, I, would get a lot of the day back if we just skipped the first third of most YouTube videos. (The L key is my friend.) Micro Triggering means saying anything must come with a preamble of apologies and cautions.

For some reason, a nondescript little pleasantry has seemingly become de rigueur at the beginning of corporate staff and colleague emailing.

Every decent throne should have a trap door, directly in front of it.

Impressive art on the walls. . .

You d’ya mean, you don’t want to talk about yesterday’s college football games?

This guy is obviously the boiler plate you have to get through to see to someone who actually buys whatever it is you’re selling.

Jim Cabela, president of Cabela’s before it was bought by Bass Pro had this message on his desk: “Be Bold, Be Brief, Be Gone”

once had a sign on my office that simply stated “absolutely no whining”

Bottom line? OK. $175,000.

I wish more speakers and utubers would use this motto. They spend so much time introducing themselves and their site that they bore me before they get to the content.

I prefer the sign I used to have in my office that read, “Warning!! Does NOT Play Well With Others!”

My clients in Southern CA would pick up the phone and say, “Later, dude, I’m off to the beach.” My clients in NYC would pick up the phone and say, “TALK FAST!!”

How do you know that his name isn’t “Skip Intro”?

The boss in today’s strip could be named Richard Head. He prefers to be called Rich Head to emphasize his title, but that’s not what his employees call him.

Former White House – “the ‘buck’ does not come anywhere near here”

Just drop the Watchtower on his desk and leave.

That’s how I feel when I use software support chat. They always start off with a bunch of “hello, how are you, so honored that you are contacting us today, you are such a valued customer, I’d love to help you” yada yada. Skip that drivel and work on the issue!

Great improvement in the wall art!!

After this meeting, Skip will need to discuss the matter with Justin Case from legal and Karri Promo in marketing. Dustin Mopp will then clean up the details.

OK, so how does having your assistant explain what your sign means do anything to save you the time that is so important to you?

The intro would have taken less time than the explanation.

If the client is paying for his time, the guy behind the desk should be more polite.

I’m reminded of various cultures around the world where you always take time to visit, share tea, pass a pipe maybe, and inquire in depth about family long before any business or issue is broached. Wouldn’t that make for a gentler, more connected and less selfish or isolated society? How much effort goes in to acquiring what we can’t take with us?

It’s better than faking that he cares.

Wiley has been to WuMo today.

Not just videos, but every little online article starts with an unnecessary somewhat-longer restatement (or two) of the title/clickbait, followed by “Read on…” and finally the minimal content, often in the form of a list.

Military term – BLUF – bottom line up front.