For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for December 14, 2022

And Ralph Parker blanked out when Santa suggested a football.

She’ll be sorry when Mom shows her pictures of her misbehaving ten years from now.

Oh, you hurt Santa’s feelings!

When a girl has to go. It would be best if she went elsewhere. Otherwise “Good Old Santa” will need some room-freshener before the next kid shows up.

Natural instinct, don’t sit on a strange old man’s lap and take candy from him.

Too bad there’s not a slide. Santa could push her down it with his foot, just like Ralphie Parker…

“I Wanna Get Down”. Great name for a generic 1975 hit single.

You can always count on April to be a brat.

Parents sending mixed signals to kids. First tell them to be wary of strangers, then expect them to “behave” sitting on a strange (really strange dressed in red) man’s lap. :(

She knows what she wants!

Better than, “I want to go to the bathroom!”

An old man holding a little girl on his lap and promising her all these wonderful things, is that not the meaning of a pedophile?

When Mom took me to the department stores at Xmas, I wasn’t interesred in Santa. I wanted to see the latest electric trains. And ride the space monorail at Wanamakers toy department.

Well, really. We warn kids all the time about strangers and then we force them into the lap of one of the strangest costumed men in the country who promises them candy and toys. I’m thinking there’s a mixed message in there somewhere.

We educate children to be wary of strangers yet think nothing of tossing them on some strangers lap during the Holidays to perpetuate a myth that all to soon they will learn that their parents lied to them, even though their parents tell them that lying is bad.

Honesty. At least she’s not on the naughty list.

Better April than Dennis The Menace asking for an Army tank.

He could smell like beer or pot for all we know.

In our own home, our children realized that there was “something funny about this Santa business” all by themselves, as soon as they saw more than one when the Christmas shopping season started…

We didn’t lie to the first child who noticed that, and the older one educated the younger one, etc. … However, they played along with this joke all through beginner grades just so not to spoil it for kids who were firm believers.

Has anyone seen a Christmas Story Story? Ralph must have shot his eye out by now

Many kids are scared of Santa… just as many are afraid of clowns.

Some toddlers are afraid of people, especially loud people. If you change the way you speak (selectively), I bet you’d get a much kinder reaction. For example, act a little more friendly in a personal way, lower your voice to be softer and empathize with April, you’d get a much better reaction.

Santa heard her. April will get a copy of “Get Up Get Down” by the Dramatics.

If April plays the song “Get Up Get Down”, that would trigger a flashback for Elly…

1968. Canadians are rioting, looting, and burning. A young Elly, with hippie beads and ratty clothes, holds a gasoline filled bottle. She lights the wick then throws it at a passing RCMP cruiser

Anne: “I’m with you, Elly. Fight the power!”

Young Elly: “Right on, say it loud. I’m black and I’m proud. Drop out, tune in, and blow your mind on drugs. Do not trust anyone over 30!”

Young Elly gives a communist pumped fist salute. Scene reverts to present

Old Elly: “And how old am I?”

Anybody else annoyed by Santa’s gender bias in gift ideas? Just because she’s a girl she should want a dolly or a tea set? Maybe she wants a train set or Legos or a pony!