Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for January 03, 2023

Adding insult to injury.

It’s been shown that Jack could have fitted on that door too, had she pulled harder…

The Youtube website Cinema Sins makes videos reciting long lists of everything that’s wrong with every movie. The TITANIC video mentions that the movie’s last half hour is built on false suspense: we know that Rose will survive because she’s telling the story! (Often a problem with prequels…)

well, whatever… my heart will go on.

The Titanic disaster really happened. Plenty of tragic stories without inventing new ones.

But here’s what really happened! After pocketing the real blue diamond (leaving a fake glass one in the coat), Jack fakes his own death to get away from clingy Rose. He changes his name and knocks around Europe for a few years, serves in WWI, and is able to parlay the profit from selling the diamond into a pretty substantial fortune. Not much is heard from Jack until 10 years after the sinking of Titanic — but in 1922, he resurfaces in the town of West Egg, Long Island, NY.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1343092/mediaviewer/rm2643435776/?ref_=tt_ov_i

And now you know….The Rest of the Story!

He wasn’t a real boy? Wasn’t that Pinocchio?

Jack wasn’t real but here were plenty of men who gave up their lifeboat places and died as a result and women who stayed behind to die with their husbands.

It’s easy to kill off a guy who never existed. Now about my ex-wife…

actually kim, records have shown there was a john ’ jack’ dawson on the crew, he didn’t make it.

Their true destiny was to be characters in that movie, so …

Why did a door float loose? Were they carrying spare doors? Were the doors made of Balsa?

So many questions.

If only lardbutt had shifted her fanny a few inches to the side.

One of these days I will have to take a look at that movie. It’s on my list.

If he’d lived, Rose definitely wouldn’t have lived such a fabulous, independent life.

Another moment of being ‘bathed in catharsis of schmaltz’, as Heinlein put it.

Ah, the Internet. Taking a cautionary tale about man’s hubris and turning it into a screed on women’s selfishness.

Another one of those movies I’ve had the pleasure to never have seen.

Marketers and salespeople have known basic human psychology for centuries. You can quote all the dry facts, statistics, scientific studies, and data you want about how superior your own product is compared to the competition and fall flat on your face in sales. But get a pretty girl with an intriguing story to pitch it for you, and you can sell absolute cräp at inflated prices. People are innately attuned to other people; math and rational analysis are barely acquired afterthots.

Another movie by Cameron dealing with water is now out. Wonder how it is doing.

Many fictional protagonists have had tragic ends. Aristotle wrote about catharsis, the mixture of pity and fear that affects the reader or audience.