Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 21, 2023

Mmm… bacon

The good news is that you are part of the spread at your own funeral buffet.

It was a different pig.

Reminds me of both the tv shows, Becker and news radio…anyone know why? Dan aka…

He became a Honey Baked Ham…

Dear Pig, never ask a question for which you don’t want the answer…

The good news is you won’t have Rat for a roommate anymore.

He became an APPLEWOOD SMOKED BERKSHIRE BACON UNCURED

Next time, ask for the good news first.

A genuine optimist

Good news is he become pork or he become bacon?

Good news is, Pig will be delicious fried in maple syrup.

May he die with cheese

Well, that’s slightly better than grabbing her ball and leaving at a dead run.

The good news is that he doesn’t need to do those work goals he promised two days ago.

The good news is MORE BACON FOR US!!!!

Fanny Fortune Teller? Not sure I want the fortune of my fanny told.

I predict that I will now read the next comic.

never mind…

“The good news is that you will now pay me $20.”

Looks like clickbait to me.

The good news is that crystal balls are notoriously unreliable props.

Sugar cured you were excellent? With cloves?!

The good news is bacon.

poor poor pitiful pig. i’ve always liked his feet. much more stable than plain ol’ hooves.

the good news is she just put the batteries in her magic 8 ball in backwards

Instead of a cremation they’ll have a BBQ

He got married?

They’re going to name a disease after you.

Good news, ever hear of Bacon or Baby Back Ribs

I see B.L.T.s in your future.

The good news is that I am a fake, and have no idea what is going to happen to you!

Five cents please.

The good news is…bacon tastes great!

To Pig, the crystal ball is always half full.

Did you hear about the psychic little person who escaped from jail? The headline was “Small Medium at Large.”

the good news is – her accuracy rate at telling fortunes is < 2%

what is Rat’s alibi

Is the bad news about him possibly getting eaten by wolves? Or is it about him spending the rest of his life with Rat?

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam,

Lovely Spam, wonderful Spam!

I’d ask for a refund

The good news is that we’re gonna have fresh bacon… :D

The good news is she got paid in advance.

Is the good news that she was seeing another pig?

“Yes, on the bright side you will be very tasty.”

You become cured!

My great-grandmother supposedly could tell fortunes with playing cards; she refused to do it anymore after a string of early demises showed in her readings – and occurred forthwith.

That’s what Granny told me when I was a kid, anyway, and Granny wouldn’t lie to me. (Granny had predictive dreams, herself; I have had accurate premonitions, though not in decades now.)

lots of bacon

The good news? ‘Bacon tastes gooood! Pork chops taste gooood!’-Pulp Fiction

Eating all that cheese, Pig, did you in…

Here is a fortune that is guaranteed to come true.

You will die.

Now you might as well live the rest of your life while you can.

Wrong answer, Pig.

Should had gone with the good news first, Pig.

MAKIN BACON!

We had a fortune teller in my town; she morphed into a “relationship advisor”. I guess she could see the handwriting on the wall.

More like a mis-fortune teller.

I smell bacon!

The good news is it was just in time for WCraft’s favorite summer-time meal of BLTs!

WAIT! Isn’t she Oscar Meyer’s mother?

The good new is Pastis, changed his mind, and brought you back in an convoluted story line.

Well, after that I just hope she will not ask him to be payed.

The good news is that I won’t charge you for the bad news, Pig.

“I regret to say that I have two pieces of bad news for you.”

“Give it to me straight, Doc, I can take it.”

“First, I’m afraid you have cancer.”

“Oh, wow, what a downer. What’s the other one?”

“Sorry to say, you’ve got Alzheimer’s.”

“Man, that sucks. Well, at least I don’t have cancer.”

She didn’t tell him WHAT the bad news was.

The bad news was that she discovered Pig signed a lifetime contract to appear in this strip.

“The funerals baked meats will coldly furnish a wedding table.” To paraphrase the Dane.

The good news is he won’t have to worry about the rising cost of cheese.

the good news? Bacon.

I cannot think of anything too tragic that might happen to Pig. Now, can I get an extra pickle with that ham sandwich?

At least he won’t have to worry about saving for retirement

The good news is Fanny thinks 90 is young. At least for someone as nice as Pig.

Hope springs eternal in the porcine breast.

No, not that Fanny (from long ago in PBS).

But Fanny Fortune Teller (no relation to Penn and Teller) does have a soft spot for poor, young Pig. His afterlife as bacon and pork chops, though, is enviable….