Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 09, 2023

Will the cop intercept the donuts and eat them himself?

Goat just suggested that Pig and Rat have no self-control! Could he be any cruller?

Pig changed the guard’s mission.

Keep out all cheese-wiz and beer.

If they hired the guard to stop bacon, Pig wouldn’t be allowed in his own house.

Reminds me of when Fred Flintstone joined ‘Food Anonymous’. Every time he tried to sneak food while on his diet, the Food Anonymous guy would steal it from him. (A similar concept was used in the earlier cartoon ‘Birds Anonymous’ with Sylvester and Tweety.)

Well, what they’re paying the guard does leave less money for doughnuts. Also less money for non-junk food.

Love it! Once again, we see that there is much truth in stereotypes.

Goat seems to get a mug of coffee really anywhere.

Did Guard Duck get fired?

that has GOT to be THE fluffiest pillow in the history of history

But that would require self-control.

I donut think new strategy will work Pig.

The Bangles already told us this: “If you want to find all the copsThey’re hanging out in the donut shop…”

There might be a “hole” in that plan!

Yeah, I don’t see any trouble ahead here….

Personally I don’t need to hire a guard. The wife prevents all donuts from coming into the house.

Once, on Car Talk, Ray Magliozzi opened the show with a story about a guy dumb enough to rob a Dunkin’ Donuts. He was stopped and arrested by a number of off-duty police officers.

The Garfield Diet! Dilly! Dilly!

I fear Goat has lost all contact with reality. Not eat donuts???!!!!

Guess it’s not easy being a pig.

Ho ho ho, “just not eat donuts” — like it’s that easy.

Pig is a real person!

Rats not gonna like this….

Those doughnuts are tricky lil’ devils! They shout your name at the supermarket, and jump into your shopping cart!

That new strategy won’t work. If donuts get into the house Pig will definitely eat them.

I haven’t touched a donut since a bad reaction I had in February. It did lead to the accidental discovery of my failing gallbladder, so there was some good from my doctor sending me for a CT scan. However, they were two separate issues, per the surgeon. I don’t know if I can have donuts now or not, and I will definitely get a medical opinion before I try one again. I haven’t even had an interest in a donut.

I stopped eating donuts. Mainly because I’m not much of a donut eating person

Nah, that’s no good either.

Judging by his size, he’s new at this job

the Milky Way strategy isn’t working out so well for me…but I can’t stop.

Hey, donuts are delicious.

Roving gangs of donuts have become a problem in some cities.

Cop to motorist, “Your eyes look blurry. Have you been drinking?”

Motorist to cop, “Your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?”

A hole new strategy?

If you were to believe all of the cops/donut jokes, you would figure that the police station is where donuts go to commit suicide.

Why is Goat’s dialog in the second panel written in a foreign language?

Just not eat donuts? That’s so crazy, it just might work!

May be what they really need is a prescription for Ozempic or Wegovy.

If the guard keeps the donuts from going into the house, they won’t be eating any donuts!!!

It appears Pig never thought of that option. Rat, on the other hand, has no self-control, so the “new strategy” would not work for him….

Goat is so dim