Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 12, 2023

If lightning threatens to strike, just agree to its demands.

I’d recommend a cave in the Rockies but there’s the risk of avalanches or wild fires.

There’s always the possibility of a massive meteor causing a cataclysmic impact event. No one is safe.

By the way, your house is on fire.

Pig, I thought your bed was your hiding place…no!

There’s a drone looking for pigs above ground level.

“If it ain’t ants, it’s flies.” —my great-grandma

Let him stay up there and wrap some copper wire around his ankle.

Pig is ungrounded.

As long as you have a sippy-cup, there’s nothing to worry about.

Hmmm. Two fake scare stories created by government, one real threat caused by government. I’m seeing a pattern here.

“On the roof, it’s as peaceful as can be, and there the world below can’t bother me.” (The Drifters)

If Snoopy can sit on a peaked roof, so can Pig.

Goat, you are a downer.

…said Roseanna Roseannadanna.

Lighting? With clear skies and without such clouds? Goat is such a cunning manipulator.

Unlike in baseball, with lightning, one strike and you’re out.

Pig isn’t safe from tornadoes and other high winds up there either. Not to mention severe heat.

Pig would also have to worry about gravity.

How about Lou Christie? ’Lightning strikes me again"!

Take it as it comes, Pig!

Yep. There’s always something.

…and snipers.

I was sure there was going to be a Snoopy punchline.

There will always be trouble, no matter where you go.

That’s what Roseanne Roseannadana always said

Yes, PIG, it IS always something!

All the worries and paranoia… then we die. The same ending, always. Life is so predictable

Aw, Pig… sometimes, I am right there with ya.

Get rid of your phone, dont watch the news

I am gonna move because they say most accidents happen at home.

Not only that, Pig. Everybody is looking for something.

It is always something, but I prefer blizzards to hurricanes.

Yes, it is.

We’re all going to die one day. It just depends on how.

I vote for choking on a Life-Saver candy. That’s the most ironic death I can think of.

Leave it to Goat to always point out one oversight in Pig’s plans.

We are supposed to have thunderstorms today. We’ve had a lot this summer, more than usual.

Rising seas? Someone should tell Obama!

Gilda Radner was a female comedian who played the character Roseanne Roseannadanna on Saturday Night Live12. In her memoir of her experience with ovarian cancer, entitled It’s Always Something, Radner wrote the phrase “It’s always something”12. This phrase became one of the most popular catchphrases from SNL2.

I never liked bacon on a hot tin roof anyway.

This is the closest Pig ever came to Snoopy

Almost Snoopy-like… :D

And it always will be.

In sippies veritas

At least he’s not in Florida.

Goat is quite the Debbie-Downer, isn’t he.

What I learned during Severe Weather Awareness Week:

  (1) On the road, you’re in danger from tornadoes. Get out of your car and lie down in a ditch.

  (2) In low-lying areas, you can drown in a flash flood. Get out of that ditch and head for the hills.

  (3) The highest object around gets hit by lightning. Get off of that hill and into your car.

  (4) On the road, you’re in danger from tornadoes …

This must be why nearly everyone alive 150 years ago is dead. Nearly? They may all be dead. They probably wouldn’t let us know if they weren’t.

Face it, Pig. You cannot hide from Harsh Realities….

The second frame looks like Snoopy’s doghouse.

You open-heimer my mind