Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 29, 2024

If you even believed it when a lawyer said that, you’re in the wrong line.

Even St. Peter has an Apple.

Worked for Steve Bannon…..

“An attorney for Steve Bannon argued in federal appeals court Thursday that Bannon should not have to serve jail time for contempt of Congress because he was merely following legal advice.” The Hill

Looks like Carl hired one of the orange ones lawyers!

What about time off for good behaviour? Or is that purgatory?

I guess there are no lawyers in heaven!

You need a lot of mercy … and grace through faith.

From Jim Wright, Stonekettle Station

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Trump: I need $540 million to appeal my fraud conviction for overvaluing my property.

Bank: $540 million?

Trump: That is correct. $540 million.

Bank: You’re asking us to loan you a half a billion dollars? To appeal a fraud conviction? A fraud conviction for defrauding banks.

Trump: Yes. $540 million. I’m good for it. I’m very rich. I can’t even tell you.

Bank: What do you have for collateral?

Trump:

Bank:

Trump: Well, I have some property in New York…

Bank: Security!

Obvious. Started with Eve, then Adam.

And God said, Let Me have you talk to your lawyer who told you that, now where in the Hell is he….?

February 29th is the birthdays of serial killers Aileen Wuornos and Richard “Night Stalker” Ramirez. The attorneys for both were unsuccessful at getting them tried as juveniles because they were about 11 years old at the time of their crimes. That didn’t work, either. Dilly! Dilly!

Product Placement even at the Pearly Gates is an important “Jobs.”

“I was only following orders” has been used as defense before.

So much for searching for a lawyer who will tell you what you want to hear. (And it doesn’t take long to find one).

Ain’t karma a bîtćh!

If you get to the pearly gates on leap day, is the “staff” procrastinating?

That background you see aglow Is from way down below/ Where bad lawyers go.

Oh yeah.

When you die, all deals are off.

Fortunately, Heaven is run by those that forgive.

Has anyone ever mused about how Jesus chose to reward Saint Peter for being one of his most loyal disciples? “Hey, bro, have I got a great gig for you: processing paperwork 24 hours a day for eternity! You’ll love it.” (I had a boss like that once myself.)

In fact, points deducted if a lawyer told you it was OK.

How ’bout two lawyers?

But I had faith that their interpretation was correct.

Carl? Don’t you mean Donald?

And besides that,Trump doesn’t like dogs.Automatic disqualification

I hear the appeal process takes forever.

I can’t tell you how many times customers came into our bank with paperwork or checks that were incorrect and explained that their lawyers told them it was okay. Lawyers are not bankers and apparently do not know how to follow the laws and regulations that banks must comply with.

Why does Peter have to screen everybody out? Seems like Satan ought to have some of that responsibility. The lines are longer there, I’m sure

Dotard’s dilemma, delay, delay, delayed!

Excuse me, but since God would have to inspired,slash made Apple computers, the concept, I would expect him/her/ they/ it to use it. Might go back to the whole Eden, apple thing.

Gonna be a rude surprise for the Orange Cult.

Tell that to Trump.

Next time, get it in writing. And notarized. At least you can the lawyer down with you.

Especially when you go shopping for some lawyer who will tell you just what you want . . . like a certain orange haired gentlem . . . cretin.

“… shopping for some lawyer …”

… or judge … … … or court jurisdiction …