Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for May 03, 2024

Or get it covered in kitty litter. Cats are quite discerning.

I’m sorry, the name of Dinkwaddle’s book is…what again? This is about a book that Tom’s hawking that doesn’t seem to exist. No preorders, no Kickstarter. Tom’s spent 3 weeks praising himself, with 2 of them pimping himself. Next Week: More Signings!

“I’m sorry we didn’t sell that many books today…or one, for that matter” (Do the math: Ed’s copy was a freebie for his Santa Claus work, Holly traded even up for her own memoir, the Grady Twins sold band candy, and Lena walked away confused). All in all, a typical Village Bookstore signing. Now can we please move onto any topic others than book signings and the wonderfulness of authors next week?

Also, Lillian and Dinkleberg went though the “cats increase interest” trope in a St. Spires arc back in May of 2021 over in the other strip…you know, the one that was cancelled.

During the 1950’s DC Comics discovered that putting a gorilla on the cover would sell more copies, eventually the editors chose to limit the practice to only one issue a month.

HARRY: “Well, I do like that wrinkly Sphynx cat on your back covers.”

LILLIAN: “That’s my author photo!”

Eh? But what has cat got to does with that band book? Is a cat even be mention there in the contents inside? And what is point of suggestion now that books is already preented? Not tells me book soo popular that he is gotta does a second edition.

“Have cat, will sell”

“I’m a bookstore over a garage in a residential neighborhood, what did you expect?”

Dinkle should of thought of that before he wrote the book

Today in Non-Sequitur Theater: a woman who runs a used bookstore out of the upstairs portion of her attached garage explains to a narcissist who wrote a second autobiography of himself and his life as a sociopath and marching band overlord the specific number of extra copies his book about being a marching band leader would have sold if he had cats on the cover. #bringontheburnings #please

Can’t hurt.

True.

Dogs like his book too. They like to p*ss on it.

P 2.5 (Lil): “…but Go Comics won’t let me say it…”

Since when does Dinkle apologize for anything?

Since when is Dinkle’s book unpopular? Weren’t people lining up to buy it a week ago?

Why is it surprising that few books were sold at a makeshift location in the middle of nowhere?

Why is Lillian offering sales advice? Wasn’t she the one who was grousing about “creating a monster” (when she didn’t) last week while Dinkle was having his spectacle at the other book thing?

Panel one: “I may have broken your daily sales record, but I feel like I could have sold more.”

Panels two and three: Lillian says what she says, only with a rueful scowl, to show contempt for Harry’s incessant pursuit for greater achievement and to show disdain for what it takes to have commercial success for a work of literature.

Panel three: Dinkle gives a Batiuk Smirk© to respond to Lillian to likewise show his disdain with and superiority to mass market appeal.

This isn’t difficult, Tom. You can keep your characters in character, Tom. Just think about it a tiny bit.

wilber weston was gonna buy 3 copys but he was wearing new pants and forgot his wallet

who would buy this book when you can buy one of ina gartens cakes from goldbelly

Where’s Crankshaft?

NOTE: in today’s “Crankshaft” strip, the letterer inadvertently left out the decimal point that should have preceded the number “5.” We apologize for any confusion. Sincerely, The Management

Beautiful women will have the same effect.

I would think that cat books would be more salable than the memoirs of a high school band director.

Only if they’re fat and gorge on Italian food

Well, what did Dinkle expect? He has already proclaimed that football fields are for band practice and churches are for choir practice. Does he not know that bookstores are for signing practice, not book selling?

He’d sell more books if he would stop tying each sale with Band Candy, Band Turkey, Band Mattress, Band Aid.

Buy one and get one free!!!!!