Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 21, 2024

Dana Carvey would be proud of Rat.

Hopefully, Rat is on God’s “Do the opposite of what he prays for” list.

Who said, “I die a little every time my friends are successful”? Guessing, Estee Lauder?

Rat serves coffee…sometimes

But Rat… Goat is already more successful and happier (ok, less depressed) than you!

Way too many people would rather see others torn down than anyone else built up.

Is this what’s meant when sports teams pray before a game? Sometimes you have to take up the God helps those who help themselves. Like when Jeff Gillolly whacked Olympic competitor Nancy Kerrigan’s for his GF Tonya Harding

Like when a little old grandma says, “I’ll pray for you.” Depends on her facial expression whether that’s a promise or a threat.

Goat, you should know better than to ask Rat anything!

I wouldn’t worry. It doesn’t work anyway :D

Every applicant should pray, see who god really likes (or, possibly, get a line on whether Yahweh is stronger than, say, Zeus or Odin)

I say a little prayer for you.

Rat has never recognized God for who He is, or lived his life accordingly. Do’nt think this poor excuse for a prayer will be heard, much less acknowledged.

You pray for me, and I’ll drink a beer for you.

You forgot thoughts Rat. Thoughts and prayers have proven to be much more successful than meaningful action.

I’d love to see Goat outfitted like the Monopoly guy…

Vesuvio Napoli White Dress Vest

Tuxedo Jacket

Kenneth Cole Grey Pants

Red Adjustable Bow Tie

Black Top Hat with Satin Ribbon

Bamboo Cane

White Moustache

Black Leather Oxfords

You’re praying into the wind, Rat.

Rat loves Schadenfreude.

Once the prayer’s sent, I mean… who knows what’ll happen.

Rat never struck me as religious. After that… he still doesn’t, he just strikes me.

To those friends who continually boasted of their success and who bragged that they made millions: I made it to 80 and you didn’t!

A not very good friend!

Pettiness, thy name is Rat.

Goat, you really should know by now…

than I

Like “Pray for You” by Jaron and the Long Road to Love. Or just read Psalm 109.

Praying is a total waste of time.

Rat needs the ‘litiney of humility.’

Should have gone with your first thought, Goat.

It seems it’s a very low bar to be more successful than Rat

Please don’t let Trump’s cabinet nominees get the job and become even more dangerous than him

Remember the song ‘Unanswered Prayers’? Goat should hope that one is unanswered.

Oh, Rat.

So much for neighbor helping neighbor in the U.S.A.

Rat really isn’t going to get on Gods good side with that prayer for Goat

They won’t discuss salaries, but one will drive a nicer car soon

To show love for our neighbor, as Jesus said we should, we might need to pray to be able to accept the other one getting more successful than us at something particular, like the job

didn’t see it coming…

“Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.” —Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), American author, The Devil’s Dictionary

Given Rat’s personality, I doubt that God will be answering too many of his prayers- at least, not in the affirmative.

Specifics! Always watch out for the fine print and make sure you get the specifics clear.