Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 27, 2024

And if he uses a golf cart, he can avoid exercise!

Rat’s going bourgeois!

Rat’s going to pay a fortune, but he won’t get anything back for it.

Precisely the reason, I don’t play.

So much Symbolism here!

Doing something you hate. A way to make your life seem longer.

Golf is a good walk spoiled-Mark Twain. I would add by a small white ball.

Rat will get plenty of exercise bending golf clubs out of frustration!

Golf is a nice game played by angry hackers who all think they’re Tiger Woods. I saw too many arguments on courses causing stress I’m trying to get away from by being out there in the first place. It made me quit playing.

Rat might expand his vocabulary if he hangs around the water hazard.

Just like that guy in Catch-22?

Rat has NEVER been happy

Never played a round of golf in my life, but I did read ‘The Golf Omnibus’ by P.G. Wodehouse. Now that’s some funny sh*t.

Try disc golf instead. Use the discs to behead your enemies!!

Nailed it. LOL!

I’m reminded of an old clip from America’s Funniest Home Videos, where a little boy demonstrated what he’d seen his Dad do, on the golf course. He threw the golf club on the ground and shouted, “Da*n it”!

Since when does Rat have happiness in his life?

That’ll get you back to your old self, Rat. Also, be sure to golf with players better than you. You’ll likely get arrested for multiple murders, imprisoned, and set upon by hordes of malcontents with no redeeming qualities. That’ll change things up for you.

Somehow, even jokes about golf are boring.

I would love golf, on my own private course.

Sounds about right!

Beer

First up, view the instructional “Dorf on Golf” videos.

Next, the Norton address the ball…. “Hello, ball.” Followed by “Will you SHUT UP!”

Third, remember that you shot a 5, yelled FORE!, and write down a 3.

Rat just make a lot of money at that coffee shop if he can afford golf as a hobby

And that’s no poop!!

Play and practice enough to get good and the anger and frustration goes WAY down!

The beauty of golf, if you played for long, is that there are a couple shots every round the best players in the world would say, “Yeah, I’d take that result.” Now, mind you, they may have been used a different club but still!

I wonder if Rat will claim to be the club champion?

You have to have balls to play golf.

Turn on cable news instead to get angry. And it’s also a lot cheaper to do

Better yet, buy a boat.

Since I do not own a set of golf clubs, I have to rent them. As a result, I want to get my money’s worth and I try to use ALL the clubs as often as possible.

I get the high score all the time.

the reason I stopped playing!

Every time I played golf, I thought about that hilarious Robin Williams bit when he explained how golf was invented.

I played a round of golf yesterday. The best two balls I hit was when I stepped on a rake coming out of the sandtrap.

That’s golf for ya.

Thank you for explaining something I don’t want to do in a very succinct way…….

Don’t bother, there are cheaper ways to be miserable!

I tried my hand at golf a long while back… just couldn’t get the swing of it…(pun intended)- my putting game was okay, but when it came to driving, all bets were off!

So happy that my fascination with golf waxed and waned before I turned 20…

Is Rat going to play golf with his baseball bat?

Sandra, 44, started to think about how life would continue without should she suddenly die. Sandra was especially curious about how her husband, Joel, would adapt to life as a widower.The 44-year-old wife turned to Joel over dinner one night and laid out a few questions to be able to get a sense of what life without her would look like for her husband.Sandra introduced the topic a bit cautiously, not wanting to cause Joel to worry about her unnecessarily. Her curiosity was the driving force behind her eventually asking the first question. She asked: “Joel, if I were to die would you marry again?” Joel looked at his wife with a surprised expression on his face. He pulled up his shoulders and nonchalantly replied that he would most likely find a new companion because he wouldn’t manage with the loneliness.Sandra then pursued the topic even further, asking her husband if his new wife would move into their new home. Once again, Joel gave a sensible answer that it would only make sense for the new woman in his life to move in with him.Another question followed with Joel’s wife wanting to know if his hypothetical new wife would sleep in their bed with him. Joel indulged his wife, replying that the new woman would have to sleep with him in the new bed.Sandra listed off a plethora of other questions, trying to assert whether Joel’s new wife would simply slip into the role that she played in his life without too much fuss.The 44-year-old had one last question for her husband, who was slightly annoyed with her. She looked at him with a serious expression and asked if the new wife would also use her golf clubs.Joel looked surprised at Sandra’s question and replied to her with a sense of shock in his voice. He took her hand gently replied to his wife, saying: “Of course not sweetie, she’s left handed.”

And you’ll bore all your friends (if you had any) talking about golf until they want to beat you with a club.

There is a Simpsons B-plot with Homer and golfing that is a better example of the idea for this comic strip for the day that shows EXACTLY the same point and idea, if you want to see it done well, too bad I can’t, for the life of me, remember the EXACT episode so ALL of you can find it!!!!! NOT all old people have memory issues, every age does, believe me….dan aka…ps memory sucks, dude!!!!!!!

As the saying goes: “It’s called golf, because all of the other four-letter words have been taken.”

I played golf ONCE.30 years ago.Grand Island,new York—-between Buffalo and Niagara Falls.

After shooting an unspeakably high score for 9 holes, i found out the clubhouse had been flooded with messages yelling “Get that slowpoke off the course!”

This is where I hold up Leonard’s “Sarcasm” sign

Hobbies are such a great distraction from “real life”. I spend my weekends trying to convince a 1,000 pound animal what direction to go, and at what speed. It’s endlessly fascinating, often confusing and frustrating, and makes me feel like a superhuman when it all comes together. Plus, the horse is beautiful, it’s great exercise, and the outfits are cute. Perfect!

You’re always angry at the little white sphere, you hit it all the way round, but your clubs, now that’s a different matter, hit a bad round but in it is one fantastic shot, all is forgiven, you will remember that shot for the rest of your life, but no good shots and the clubs must bear the brunt.

A good walk spoiled,

Rat would have gotten along well with Edgar Rice Burroughs. ERB once referred to golf as “a mental disorder”.

I never understood golf. So boring and tedious. Now I get it, Rat! Thanks!

A lot of people enjoy the frustration of golf, after playing for a few years of swearing and beating myself up. I gave my clubs to the teen next door, he got some use out of them.

Or as Mark Twain once said, “Golf is a nice walk spoiled.”

There is no golf without tears. (What ever P. G. might claim with much amusement ) And it does not have to cost a fortune with old clubs and public courses.

Yeah, basically.

Keep repeating my mantra "It’s only a game, it’s only a game…..ad infiniteum

If you want to play any sport well you have to work at it. One of the nice things about golf is that as long as you aren’t rude or incredibly slow, it doesn’t matter to anyone else what you shoot as a score. Unlike team events where you can let everyone down and really feel bad!