FoxTrot by Bill Amend for March 09, 2025

It is a cool idea but yeah, Peter would end up in the emergency room

can they have one day of decent cooking, please?

An easier way is to hit a question block, get the mushroom to get big, then find another question block and grab the flower.

No, suck it up like the rest of us parents.

Sure you were…

I think that’s how the Miami Heat made their logo.

There was a Scooby Doo episode where the villain was throwing flaming fast balls.

Honestly with Peter and his pitching skills hed burn down the whole school

Spouse is sick and TIRED of having a life where everything she wants to do meets resistance from some unforeseen direction. Re-ordering something online? “They” have lost her account or hooked her account to someone else’s address (yep, that happened) or gone out of business. Logging in at the bank? They are polite and completely unhelpful… but you can at least PHONE them to ask them to do it… Buying something on sale at a local store? They’re always out… or it’s there but in the wrong size or color. Want to make a quick run to town to replace the sour cream (which went bad too quickly)? “They” are working on the road and a 10 minute errand takes 45 minutes. And on and on and on.

I’d hate to think what it would be like if our life had been like that when the kids were still in school.

One day without stress? No, not with these kids and husband. Not to mention that cooking.

If Peter doesn’t make the baseball team by throwing flaming objects, he’ll be invited to join the Anarchists Club.

Of course they would have to make a video of it and post it online, so that hundreds of other kids would copy it. Emergency rooms, get ready!

Today’s missing classic is

gocomics.Com/foxtrot/2004/03/21

Sorry, lady! You KNEW what you were in for when you decided to become a mom! Beside, it’s not like Peter’s THAT dumb? Right? RIGHT?!

Interestingly, if Peter doused his hand as well as the baseball in isopropyl alcohol and lit both, his hand would suffer no damage. The flames would burn only the fluid, and interestingly actually cools the skin as the heat is dissipated into the air from the flame.

I know this because I grew up in the 1960s when kids could have some really awesome (read: ridiculously dangerous) chemistry sets. I used a burner that was fueled by isopropyl alcohol and accidentally lit my finger. Freaked me out the first time, but there wasn’t any pain and, in fact cooled my skin. I verified it about… ohhhh… fifty times. You know, just to be sure my data was correct. It had nothing to do with the fun-factor being off the charts.

Please don’t listen to the brat — he’s been taking lessons from Calvin and Clayton.

What happens if Peter throws a fastball at 90% of the speed of light?

No.

Jason may have just been kidding, but he also knows the impending situation would be too hilarious to see play out to make a real effort to try and stop Peter from trying it. :P

this made me think back when i was a kid we took the metal tennis ball containers put a small hole near the bottom put some lighter fluid in the container dropped a tennis ball in lit it from the hole and had an instant cannon

Actually, somebody – I want to say former A’s owner Charlie Finley – once tried to introduce orange baseballs

If you want one day without stress, then you should start by putting down that newspaper

What are you complaining about? Be thankful you’re not at the Big Pink House on the Hill. The woman there has real trouble on her hands.

Would Jason really feel sad if Peter went to emergency room

Don’t give him any ideas about cowboys and Indians

Peter, you know enough about physics to know that white is already hotter than red.

Yeah, mom needs to relax!

You’re a parent. There is no such thing as a day without stress.

Randall Munro, author of the webcomic ‘xkcd’ has a second feature {called, i think, ‘What If’} where he talks about various unlikely {generally JUST theoretically possible} things happening, and the first was “What if a pitcher could throw a fastball almost at the speed of light?”

It would be pretty spectacular… {It’s worth googling

Sorry, but sometimes just adding “JK” is not enough.

Peter’s gonna end up on the news tomorrow for those flaming pitches…

Go get ‘em, Peter! Light ‘em up!

I will refrain from recounting tales of pyromania of my well spent youth. Sorry kids. You are welcome parents.

Shadiversity did an episode on flaming arrows. It turned out that the idea doesn’t really work. They don’t really stay lit. Trying to load them up with fuel makes them too heavy.

Or Peter could just practice more. Or find an activity he might actually be good at.

My high school drama coach told of his troubles with the Witch when he directed The Wizard of Oz. For her fireballs she had a wad of flash paper and a lighter in her hand, but kept throwing overhhand so if it were lit the flames go back into her hand. He finally got her to throw backhanded so the would stream back away from it. Dress rehearsals, so far so good.

Opening night – overhand. Ouch.