Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for May 18, 2024

Well, yes, it is rather surprising for a woman who is canonically seventy years old to be pregnant, but at this point her parents may be a bit too dead to express any surprise.

Wait a minute. Are you telling me that…(checking Monday’s picture of the car in front of the Valentine)…Good Lord, that is meant to be Cindy sitting in the passenger seat! So she just sat out there on the street while Masonne stood inside smirking and passive aggressively telling his crew they have a month to prepare for a Hollywood movie premiere? She couldn’t be bothered to come in and say “hello”?

Oh, and did I forget to mention that the final year of FW retconned the OG Westview High gang’s graduation year to 1972, meaning that the preggers Cindy Summers-Winkerbean-Jarre is at least 69 years old? Yeah, this strip is certainly “a quarter-inch from reality!”

Pregnant. She’s at minimum 70-75 years old. Drawn like she’s 24, because maybe Tom hopes DiCaprio will like the strip.

Note: “Were they surprised?” and NOT “Did they agree to this?” as Mason races away laughing maniacally, as Mindy and Moron stare into the void. Mindy says flatly “All our money, all we ever worked for…gone…taken by HIM.”

…This is odd. Until this second, I’ve never felt a desire to swing a 3-foot long Stillson wrench into someone’s Ken Doll-perfectly capped fake teeth. Hey, he’s rich! He can buy more!

Is it just me, or do most of the smirks in this strip look like someone’s trying to hide a chili dog burp?

“And just wait until Les Moore learns that I want him to prepare my Oscar Awards speech for me! I’m going to win all the awards in every category and give them all to him! Twice!”

Tell me that Mason Jarr doesn’t look wacked out enough to do that.

Only one in today’s strip that hasn’t gotten any action is that box office.

Timemop strikes again!

What? So Ms. Whateverhernamewas who is Crankyshaft granddaughter who was with mopey guy Pete is dump him n his steenky komix and goes with this clown Mason instead?

What is all the hubbub about. If comic characters aged in real time, the Peanuts gang would be in their 100’s, and Dennis the Menace would be an old man.

Fans are definitely unhappy with the turn that this strip has taken. I have only been following Crankshaft online about 7 or 8 years. I picked up Funky just before the final Bull storyline. So I don’t have the history that many long-time followers do. I understand that Crankshaft was considered a minor character in the Funky strip until his popularity led Batiuk to give him a spin-off. When FW was finally retired, loose ends and story lines were tied up, the time warp was supposedly destroyed so a few of the characters could cross over for occasional guest appearances. It is apparent that since the title character has made only 2 appearances in the last 5 weeks that he is back to minor status. I can understand that long-time FW fans are delighted to be reacquainted with some of their old friends, just as the “where is Crankshaft?” fans are likewise displeased. It is obvious that Batiuk has his own plans for the direction of the strip, and as the creator, and caretaker for so long that is his right, for however long he plans to carry on. So unfortunately, Ed is back in the minor leagues.

That IS supposed to be Cindy Summers, right? So she would be around 70 years old… Yet she looks like she’s 25… And she’s pregnant?? If we thought this comic was already ridiculous, this new bit really takes the frikkin’ cake..

That was my thoughts wasn’t she married to Funky before he married her sister. Funky was older than me when I started reading the strip, then I was older than Funky, now I thought we were the same age. Isn’t he old enough to have retired to Florida? Must be something magical in the water.

Who’s the daddy????

Now, that’ll be a shocker.

a funeral for a fish i predict will be more exciting

Cindy is Funky’s ex. Funky is a decrepit old man. That means SHE’S old. And her parents are probably dead!

With the disappointment I feel in the new direction the cartoonist is taking, I’d like to create a new type of comment. A Random Strip in Crankshaft History. I will obtain a random Crankshaft strip utilizing the GoComic “Random” button. I will comment on the random strip and render a verdict if it is better, IMO, than the present-day offering. I will stop if I ever discover a random comic strip that I judge worse or more offensive than the actual strip of the day. I am purposely leaving out details because I want to invite you to read those strips. Constructive comments and critiques are welcome.

Today’s Random Strip in Crankshaft History: Crankshaft from February 16, 2013. Pam and Ed are in the kitchen. Pam is looking into the refrigerator while Ed is eating at the kitchen table. Pam asks, “Did you throw out the cheese that was in here?” Ed replies, “No, I had it for lunch.” In the second panel, Pam looks at Ed and asks, “Was it any good?” Ed replies, “I guess… I couldn’t find an explanation date”.

Verdict: The random comic strip is the last strip featured in a fortnight of one-off gags. The comic features a recognizable joke with another Ed Crankshaft malapropism. It’s not the funniest, but a respectable effort. 

Crankshaft 05/18/2024… WTH? I have no idea what to make of this strip. Cindy Summers, who was in the same high school graduating class as Funky and Les. Cindy, who was married to Funky. Funky, who is now happily retired and living with his wife Holly in Florida. Holly, who was also in Cindy’s graduating class. Holly, who is the same age as Cindy, but appeared in the strip a few weeks ago as a dumpy senior-aged hausfrau. Cindy, who attended her 50th class reunion a couple of years ago in the Funky Winkerbean strip. Cindy Summers, a 70-year-old in the established canon is pregnant?

I think Batty is pulling our collective legs with this one.

Winner: Random comic.

Number of days without an appearance by Dr. Harry L. Dinkle: 7

I’m just a newcomer to this strip, but today’s comic is a downer. Maybe if you could turn off the speech bubbles?

THAT’S Cindy???

SHE’S FUNKY’S AGE! This person looks barely out of college!

And getting pregnant at her age is very risky, if not impossible.

A very old punch line used in many many many movies……and even many more!

Oh great!! Now Mason will have a little starlet to fawn over or a son who’ll be an actor (or try to be, anyway).

NO IT CANT BE CINDY IS 70 YEARS OLD THE PREGNANCY WILL KILL HER

It’s become “As the Stomach Turns” here.

Maybe Mason Jarre is pregnant. Holly just got pregnant too. So did Mrs. Dinkle. smh

Funky Winkerbean is a different timeline from Ed Crankshaft.

Plus… its a comic strip for God’s sake… if you don’t like it, then don’t read it.

I think, since Cindy is canonically70, most of us are going to be surprised.

My daughter is the maid of honor at a wedding today. She told me that the bride confided in her that she is pregnant, but nobody knows but my daughter (and now me). She hasn’t told her fiancé or her parents. She was planning on telling them at the wedding reception. As if they couldn’t figure it out when she drinks all the toasts with milk.

Mason’s about to open a new franchise.

CALLED IT!!!

C’mon, man!!! 70-year-old Cindy Summers is giving birth. Yeah, sure. To what? A golf-ball-sized tumor in her brain? Is that why she didn’t get out of the car? The comic strip Funky Winkerbean’s cancerous reputation aside, I’m sure the story is as lame as Masone and Cindy stopping by an adoption agency. TO ADOPT A DOG! No risk-it Batiuk strikes again.

Cindy: “Aw, my sweet little dog Pookie. Baby, who’s your mommy? (kiss) (kiss)”

I missed the end of ‘Funky Winkerbean’ because I bailed on it too soon. There were too many story arcs featuring lame-o comic book covers and Les Moore asskissery. I wasn’t able catch up in the FW archives because Batyuk pulled them when he swapped syndicates immediately after New Year’s.

With Batyuk turning ‘Crankshaft’ into some kind of Funky Winkerbean abomination, I’m given a second chance to watch ‘Funky Winkerbean’ swirl down the drain. Thanks, Batyuk!

It’s a “Tess Trueheart Moment”

Born 1931, had a baby in 1979