Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for February 17, 2018

Gotta loathe those two words in the same breath: “trade” and “secret.”

The XXL comment is an odd one coming from Ann Eiffel who is supposedly trying to sell the lingerie. Why would she insult a potential customer?

Ann does not impress me as being some master saleswoman. Or even an adequate grifter. That “XXL” snipe would be idiotic coming from someone in a “Big and Tall” clothing store.

Well THIS is a bit of a surprise. I’d thought we would have gone from “body shaming” yesterday to “body slamming” today.

Both of these ladies are playing it awfully cool, so far. Curious. Even so, someone should put down large quantities of sand on the floor to soak up the blood in case this two lovely lady titans start hair pulling……., ;)

A steal? Literally.

“So, you’re an XXL” Anne sure is cocky! I wonder what Sheraton is going to do with her fast mouth.Anne has it coming.

A duel in private? With Tiffany’s dad at stake? This is getting uncomfortable. I’d rather see Tiffany model that skimpy little thing, but it would have to be in black or red.

DING! Round 1 and out come the claws.

Sid the spider to the fly “step right into my parlor”. Ann is slowly walking into Tiffany"s trap !!!!!!!

If Tiffany plans to buy fake merchandise and get Ann busted, Ann may be onto Tiff and sell her the real thing. Cat & mouse so far. I wonder if Tiffany knows what happened between Ann & TJ. Tiffany could drop a bomb bringing TJ in.

Perhaps Ann has been tipped off and has just enough real stuff to protect the charade?

“ANN” we are off and running.

Tiffany said “Ann.”

How did a Miss Sheraton St. Louis know that Lady Lingerie was named Ann?

And why, after two hours, am I the first to ask?

Generally speaking, designer stuff like that would not come in any larger sizes at all. And by ‘larger’ I mean above a UK size 12.

That’s an XXL? What’s a small?!

There is more stock in boxes behind ANN than can fit into her sporty sized car.

Ann Eiffel, only known to customers as Lady Lingerie, cannot make a fast exit without leaving evidence.

And Tiffany just called her Ann….

Yes, because one of the other girls in yesterday’s strip said, "This is Ann.’’

Tiff don’t take the bait because it’s a trap.

One thing that was not considered: Ann is dating Tiffany’s father. There is a good chance that she has knows how Tiffany looks like due to pictures, etc, including her recent weight gain.

So….Tiffany would get the privilege of paying more …as a reward for taking scented water off of Ann’s hands? 

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…Ann is indeed too kind, with burdening herself- to take the weight of other peoples’ dollars from off of them….

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Another indiscretion spoken by Ann, like these past two strips, and the next “nightie” she’ll be speaking about, will be “nightie night”!

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And at this point, you could expect some up-and-coming investigative reporter to pop up from his hiding spot, to confront Ann, trying to conceal her face from the camera…..

“Eiffel Power”

“I’ve Got A Bonus To Pick, With You”

“The Shakedown Markup”

“Fillet Of Camisole”

“Arsenic And Copycat Lace”

“For A Few Dollars More….Or Less…”

“Product Misplacement”

“A Ringing Endorsement In Your Ears”

“A Hot Message In A Bottle”

“Eau, De Twighlight!”

“Perfume…Spelled With A Capital Fume”

“Essence Of Anesthesia”

“The Steal Industry”

or

“Don’t Cry Over Shilled Silk”

“brought to you”, by:

The new, redesigned line of “Spare Jordans”…. from Psykhe!….On sale now, at your preferred OkayMart….

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Ka Mode #5 1/2, Limited Edition…. “….So Ann Raggheddi!….”

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The new and improved Oil Of ‘Okay!’…. “Well, we tried! …give us some credit!….”

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“Thirty Minutes More”!….“The upccoming news journal special….hoted by Dan Rather-Knott…Check your local listings a couple of times, and you should see it….We put it in there this time, for sure!”….

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and, “by”….

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“The Lover’s Spat, Midnight Collection”… from Marva Stallwart….

“Maybe Its Maybelline!….Then Again, Maybe It’s Not….”

-Uncle Rico from Napeon Dynamite (….. if he were still selling mail-order junk and was reading the “company” tag line from the card that came with the latest shipment from “Mystery, ‘Incorporated’, the company with a sweet surprise in every bottle!”)

I hope everybody has their bets down now.

Tiffany’s a size 8, or 10 at most.

Jabs, TIffany is doing some softening up jabs now. while Ann is defensively hold up her gloves, although the XXL was a jab. Monday we start with body blows, and by the end of the week the knockout. Very curious to see what strategy Tiffany has in mind, because Ann may not be aware she is about to get a straight right upper cut to the jaw. It will happen before she knows what happened. Either that or she really is prepared, and is playing with Tiffany. Remember my point about Les’s loyalty, and to whom?

Why is Tiffany showing her hand? Don’t ask questions. Look at the merchandise to be sure and excuse yourself to the bathroom and call the police.

I have just begun to fight. John Paul Jones, 1779

Insulting and poking fun at the customer? I wonder if Ann has been tipped off? By Less? Even if Ann wasn’t tipped off, Tiffany’s attitude may make her suspicious.

Insulting and poking fun at the customer? I wonder if Ann has been tipped off? By Less? Even if Ann wasn’t tipped off, Tiffany’s attitude may make her suspicious.

Kinda’ shows you how disconnected the Farrell family is; apparently Ann – the girlfriend of Tiffany’s Dad – doesn’t even recognize her main squeeze’s offspring, extra pounds or no.

And now get ready for a week or two of Brad & Toni’s niece/adoptee to keep us in suspense. ughhh

Where are the models?

One of these young women has marched across the war torn battlefield, only to find, to late, that they blundered into a minefield. The question IS, Which one?

Wasn’t Ann using a fake name when she dealt with Luann et al?

How can Ann NOT know that Tiffany is her boyfriend’s (Tiffany’s father) daughter? Have they never met? Seems weird.

Hope Tiffany is recording all of this on her phone which is in her purse. Her proof to take Ann down.

If Tiff is an xxl then I’m the queen of Sheeba.

Due to Ann’s blatantly disrespectful treatment of Tiffany, I am thinking more and more that Ann is in on what’s going on. As soon as Sheraton makes her move, Ann may be ready with, “Look, Hon – I know who you are. Your father & I are having an adult relationship. You better to go back to school and learn something useful – you’re gonna need it when you meet the real world.” Tiffany may conclude that Les ratted her out. All this might bring Tiff & Gunther closer.

Throw the cuff on her Tiffany

What if Ann gave Tiffany’s father a sob story and he is financing the fake lingerie? What would happen to the plan? Could Ann hold this over Tiff’s head?

OK. Here’s a possibility that very likely WON’T happen:

Both Rhonda and Lori are truly undercover cops, like some have postulated (at least for Rhonda). They wait until NEAR the end of the event, then scream: “Pittsville PD!! This is a bust!! This operation here has been selling counterfeit goods! We have a warrant! Ann Eiffel! You are UNDER ARREST!!”

Whether they pull out their .357’s (or not) is iffy at best, but would make for some fun! Just like Cagney and Lacey, sorta – kinda – OK, NOT!!

I know, I know … too much for the Luanniverse, but ya never know!!

Tiffany riposte: “You try it on first. We’ll see if it’s too small.”

cue the ominous music

Is that a cell phone or a calculator on the table? Could Ann be recording the conversation? The plot thickens……..

Tiff’s droll and dry retort to the Eiffel “XXL” insult suggests she is Locked and Loaded, ready for battle after this initial skirmish.

(Nice camisole, though, if too large for pudgy-but-not-supeheavy Sheraton St. Louis….)

Ann’s ego is XXL, and her consideration for other people is XXS! (Extra-Extra-Small).

Ann’s ego is XXL, and her consideration for other people is XXS! (Extra-Extra-Small).

Any phone can have a barcode scanner app.

Scan the box and see if SL stands for Sew_filet Lingerie out of Hong Kong.

Ya think that barcode just happens to be there, or Greg put it there for a reason?

I believe that Ann is totally on to Tiffany. It’s really hard to believe otherwise.

I believe that Ann is totally on to Tiffany. It’s really hard to believe otherwise.

It would be both brillig and slithy if tomorrow’s stand alone wasn’t.

For me, Ann is definitely a keeper in the ongoing “Luann” saga. Not only for her striking good looks – but for her zingy personality. And note that Ann didn’t get to where she is without a struggle. It’s hard not to like her at least a little bit.

There is literally NO STANDARD SIZING in women’s fashion. None. Zero. Zip. The manufacturer can put whatever size they want on their clothes. Thus, in the old days a size 12 – Marilyn Monroe, Lucille Ball – was considered a small or at most a medium. Now, there are idiots trying to tell us that a size 10 is a large. I wore size 10 when I was in my 20s and weighed about 110 lbs. It was sold in the “Small” section of the racks. Ann is being snide and looking forward to ripping off the “fat girl”.

There is literally NO STANDARD SIZING in women’s fashion. None. Zero. Zip. The manufacturer can put whatever size they want on their clothes. Thus, in the old days a size 12 – Marilyn Monroe, Lucille Ball – was considered a small or at most a medium. Now, there are idiots trying to tell us that a size 10 is a large. I wore size 10 when I was in my 20s and weighed about 110 lbs. It was sold in the “Small” section of the racks. Ann is being snide and looking forward to ripping off the “fat girl”.