Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 31, 2023

Like driving a safari tour jeep?

Teach an old lion a new trick.

Unfortunately for the tourists there is no return trip.

So I hired a predator to drive a bus. It’s hard to find qualified workers nowadays. And it’s not like there are children on there.

Did the lion lie on his resume?

No one in the other bus looks worried, as far as I can tell.

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the Lion drives tooniiiight! (Ah wimoway, ah runaway, ah wimoway, ah runaway)

Wiley Lions™! The Pride of the Savanna!

…and driving skills.

Misguided tours.

That tour probably only lasted 3 hours.

Wilions are the wiliest of all.

Safari, so bad. Does Leo have a Driver’s License to Kill?

We had some dietician named Stanton in Australia going off her brain a few years ago because there were ads on tv about red meat. The ads went on about it improving intelligence, among other things. She made the argument that because the great cats (lions, tigers, panthers etc) ate a lot of red meat, why weren’t they the top sp*cies rather than people. Completely ignoring the fact that for some 50 million years they WERE! And, no-one ever said they weren’t clever – they are still supremely adapted to their environment. So why aren’t they the top sp*cies? A major difference is that they have paws, whereas humans have hands. Just a small detail.

Surely a lion would drive an Impala.

I must say, once on a safari in South Africa, we were surrounded by this pride of lions, when suddenly this MASSIVE male walks next to our open-top truck. It suddenly hit me that we looked awfully like a food-truck to them…

Just a temp job for a few simo-leons to tide him over for a while.

You suppose we could send DeathSatanist on a safari? Safari that he never comes back?

Now that bus has become a Kittie Kar.

uber eats, they delivered?

The Wiley Bears have opened an African franchise.

I couldn’t stop laughing… Very funny !

Watching a documentary about lions, I learned that the females hunt and kill, then the males come in to feast. Females are okay with turning on older males for a meal.

The lion sure has a satisfied look on its face.

Wiley lions!

The Wiley Bears need to visit places like Churchill, Manitoba. There are Polar Bear Tours there. Seriously. Tour buses going out onto the literal frozen tundra to have a look at very large land carnivores in the wild. Polar Bear Tourism is a major industry in Churchill. I’d move south.

The lions have learned about meals on wheels. That’s a tour the tourists won’t take a second time.

Probably should be a lioness driving, but they don’t have those readily obvious manes to communicate identity

It’s actually the lionesses that do the hunting, those male lions are pretty slow. And they use the safari vehicles as hunting blinds… I remember one time a female cheetah hid under our vehicle until the prey came close enough to catch.

I think the lions took over one of the safari tour buses.

One little goof—it’s teh FEMALE lions who do all t he hunting while the male’s just lie around and hog most of the catch.

And that’s a male lion behind the wheel.

Frazier the Lion—Los Angeles Zoo.

They said he was all washed up and he proved them wrong

Cats will do that.

While it’s true that within a pride, the females do the hunting, bachelor males hunt quite well. The best of them eventually take over a pride. Wiley’s lion is obviously a bachelor!

Actually, he would probably make a lioness drive while he rode on top. :)

Meals on Wheels, savannah style.

Lunch wagon.

Now there is plenty of food, and extra cash to hire a web developer

The lion’s not lion when he says he’s in the drivers seat…

The lion is probably not hungry any more so the other group is safe.

it’s true the lioness’ do all the hunting. the male’s primary job is to defend the territory (from other males) and to help make more lion cubs

Wiley lions?

I think this is an oldie but goodie. Believe I’ve seen this or a variation of this issue before.

Shouldn’t that be a lioness driving?

LOL!!!!!

But that is the Wiley Bears Modus Operendi.

Still COLing (ChuckleOutLoud). That’s just funny. :-]

The lion is returning the vehicle so the meals keep coming.

I think Wiley Lions are a lot scarier than Wiley Bears! I hope they catch on!