Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 15, 2019

My Answer Box has been saying Guinness for the last 35 years.

This is a real thing, not far from me:

https://russianriverbrewing.com/pliny-the-younger/

But it’s not just “beer”. It’s a triple IPA.

Why do i think pig might be in that box?

Pliny the Younger is difficult to get because it’s only available for a couple weeks a year. Looks like Pastis found a way to secure a few pints for himself. Bravo.

Pastis is a lot like Pliny the Younger.He’s a high ABV (Alcoholic By Vocation) Triple IPA (Inane Pun Artist).Also, you can only “get” him for about two weeks out of the year.

Joke joke, we love you man. Growler swap maybe?

I know the key to happiness. It’s E major.

Now the box just has to tell you how to get it. Great product placement. Hope it pays off with several cases.

Windsor Whiskey …. Croc Power !

…and this beer actually exists!

I wonder if Pliny the Younger knew that he would end up as nothing more than the namesake of a beer.

I go more for quantity than quality when it comes to alcohol.

Is that a local San Francisco beer?

Ka-ching is right!

Humboldt weed?

Hicccup, burp,

Faster horses, younger beer, older whiskey, better puns.

A pop up ad.

Pliny the Elder is the best IPA I’ve ever tasted.

Pliny is good, but not my top choice from the ‘old’ Russian River. Unfortunately, with the sour craze going, they don’t make anything today that I’d pay for.

sellout

The Key to Happiness is all in product placement.

Given the answer to “Why have we been put here on earth?”, I thought the Box O’Answers was a Wisconsin product. But if that were so, today’s answer would be Odin’s Oathkeeper or Face Melter. Oh, well.

Is it

My new magic eight ball says “404 error”

I think Pastis just got himself free beer for life from Russian River. I wonder what the hit count on their site and number of googles will be today?

Dark chocolate, cheese, strawberries, whipped cream, toast with lots of butter, and an unlimited supply of Diet Pepsi would do it for me. Okay, make some of that cheese in the form of Cheetos.

My answer box pops up random and irrelevant answers, often based on recent things my subconscious noticed and misinterpreted. I don’t take it too seriously. It’s far more effective to blindfold oneself and throw darts at an answer board.

I prefer Pliny the Elder, myself. As an historian, not as a beer.

“Drink more Ovaltine”

Nearly all sources of wisdom today are corrupted by product placement.

MY answer box says “it’s garbage nite”

I showed this to my friend Ryan and he thought it was great!

Good lord, there actually is such a thing!

LOL

I prefer Blind Pig from Russian River.

Sounds like a good IPA. 10.25%! But it’s only available on tap. Another great 10% brew is Blueberry Braggot available in bottles

The Key to Happiness is not having to ask a stupid suggestion box “What’s the key to happiness”. (Or Alexa or Sirri either, come to that.)

I prefer to drink local stouts and porters

I once traveled to California for the annual release of Pliny the Younger. It was well worth the trip from the East Coast.

Did Pliny the Elder ever float down the Russian River in an inner tube while drinking beer?

I think they need to ask the Box if it is trustworthy.

—In which a guest appearance by Cartoon-Boy includes a crass commercial sell-out.

Anyone know if that beer is any good? I see so many ads for new brews with cute names but often little appealing taste….

Well, Russian River DOES make some Good Beers !!