Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 13, 2022

Red card

Roommates like these usually end up on Judge Judy or on the front page of the New York Post.

I’ve always said it: baseball hurts.

pre-emptive get well…

I’m going to get a get-well card and some rat poison.

Get well enough to make another pot of coffee.

I’m reminded of Dilbert’s Pointy Haired Boss who slipped into the break room like a panther and took the last cup of coffee …

Not so passive-aggressive

Sort of a Happy-Suicide-card.

Pig should have read the card. It just said, RUN!

Rat got the last cup anyway.

With friends like Rat who needs enemies? !

It’s so nice of Rat to think ahead.

Somebody loves his coffee too much.

Rat smacked Pig in the head and then robbed him of the last cup of coffee. The least he could do is let Pig know he cared.

I had a roommate like that one summer long ago. I barely remember the other tenants in that house but I can’t forget him.

A foul-tempered, sadistic idiot I can deal with but what do you do with a foul-tempered, sadistic genius?

The beating offense is when you take the last cup of coffee then put the empty pot back on the burner without turning it off.

I’m not sure if I’m with Pig or Rat on this one…Pig’s aware that he DID take the last cup of coffee without making a new pot, so maybe Rat IS justified in laying a serious smackdown on him…

Not so sure Rat should be taking Pig’s cup. COVID and all that…..

Rat is abusing his celebrity status….

make the coffee or die.

If a ratbat could bat rat?

Minority Report II – Tom Cruise character goes around giving out condolence and sympathy cards to the future criminals before he dispatches them.

I prefer my coffee fresh. If he took the last cup, who knows how long it has been sitting in the pot?

The last cup usually has the consistency of 10W-40, so why would he take it?

A well deserved rebuke.

Love means you never have to say you are sorry. Rat must love a lot….

Rat likes to think so. I don’t think it is.

The bouncer thanks you for the pansies you sent him. He should be out of the hospital in a month or so.

Rats drink coffee?? As if this one isn’t hyper enough already.

Passive-aggressive would be carefully pouring the last of the old, too-long-on-the-hot-plate coffee into a mug, making nice, fresh, good-tasting coffee for himself, and then giving the mugful of old to Pig.

Is it real coffee or that flavored junk that pretends to be coffee?

Rat wouldn’t be Rat if he wasn’t a rat.

A thoughtful jerk. Well isn’t that special.

It’s like other pedestrians who say “Excuse me” before they run into you.

Rat is as Rat does. Besides, Piggy, you pretty much Asked For It!

every day this comic strip reminds me that rat is my spirit animal.

last panel superfluous