Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 13, 2022

Pig may be better suited to cricket.

Let’s talk about the importance of bacon

The quarterback will let you know how he feels once he remembers where he is.

I think NFL players are well payed for that.

I’m just too easily bored to watch football.

I wish I was empathetic enough to know how it feels to get a paycheck like that.

Dear Rat…NEVER let Pig watch hockey!

Just as soon as Everyone agrees with me

I was watching a bunch of TV commercials this evening and noticed that once in a while some referees were shown adjudicating a recent football scrimmage. That segment was very brief.

I like BattleBots; no one gets hurt.

Better not let Pig watch ’70’s cop shows.

I’m amazed they can even move with the amount of padding they wear. Check out a Rugby or Rugby League match.

Pig should watch Duke football, mostly non-violent.

The miser loved to watch football he loved when they try to get the “Quarter” back!

Millionaires beating up millionaires for billionaires pretending it’s for the unwashed masses who can hardly afford the price of admission.

The quarterback got too far in debt to the bookie.

Just keep in mind they are paid an obscene amount of money to play a GAME, and watch your sympathy fly our the window

I think emotionally, he’s going, “Aw, come on!” Physically, he’s going “Get this guy off of me!”

I don’t think that that hurt the quarterback at all. I’m sure he could not hear that Rat called him stupid.

No, no we can’t.

18 month old daughter’s review of football: “They all get up. They all run. They all fall down.”

Our country has been so fortunate that doctors so love to heal the sick they are willing to work for relatively little pay, work long hours every day, attend mandatory continuing education classes during their summers and use part of their meager discretionary income to buy supplies every year. Wait, I mean teachers in the U.S.

More and more sports players are busted for drugs, rape, murder….I don’t waste my time in abusive dangerous sports…they’re all over paid….period!

All Pig wants is peace and harmony in the world.

You always see these players thanking Jesus when they win. Just once, I’d like to see one of the other players blaming Jesus for the loss. “We’d have WON, if not for Jesus…”

Even a dedicated pedant won’t sink so low…actually, this one will: “paid!”

American football is insane… but it beats actual warfare

NFFL. National Flag Football League.

Back in the early 1970s, trying to please a college boyfriend, I sat down to watch a football game to see what all the fuss was about. Within 20 minutes I saw a young man get killed on the field. Haven’t watched a minute of football since.

Every time I make the case that American culture is pervasively violent, people look at me as if I had three heads – and then go watch football.

That’s the point of football, Pig. It’s all part of the fun from throwing and kicking the ball around.

I especially wonder how it feels when the quarterback who has just moved to another team gets pounded by the defense on the team he just left (Russell Wilson, I’m talking about you)

Wait until the Crown Prince finds out he can buy out the top players in the NFL and make his own league…

How does he feel about Greased Pig contests at County Fairs?

“How did the other team feel?”

https://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1969/10/26

No…..

I got dragged to a football once in college. I have, fortunately, managed to avoid it ever since.

Maybe we should get paid a lot to get along.

Don’t tell pig that the ball is know as the pig skin.

Me too. Both sentiments, actually.

It’s amazing after all these decades, that Rodney King’s words are still being used, though paraphrased. You were all probably too young to remember the 1992 LA riots. The trial was held in my hometown.

That’s why I stopped watching it. Boxing too.

So Pig would be one of those parents.

this is football: big fat guy throws deformed ball. big fat guy catches it. big fat guy slams into said guy.

Answer to pig, no.

I’m not sure Pig has the temperament even to join the Junior Amateurs League tiddlywinks team….

Just watch baseball Pig. It’s a better game anyway!