Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 04, 2024

Many choose the lesser of the two weasels.

Professional grifter?

Haven’t seen Pigita in a while.

Hold your nose and pick the least objectionable one to you is!

So Pigita back with Pig eh.

Did the “opportunistic weasel” do, as is the common practice of one of the two “presidential candidates”, walk out without paying?

I thought it was a “Date with Candi” contest. I rarely win anyway. I guessed Biden in 2020, and 80 million more did, too :D

President Jimmy Carter seems to stand out among politicians. I wonder if it’s because he did not display common traits we associate with politicians?

Well, who would date a pig, anyways ?

The word “candidate” come from Latin candidatus, literally “clothed in white”, referring to the white togas worn by candidates in ancient Rome.

So I suppose a prime candidate would have been Colonel Sanders.

So, how do we have a form of governance (given that no society can exist without it) that isn’t a dictatorship or absolute monarchy without people running for office? Is it the people or is it just the system that forces them to bow to money and spend all their time tearing down their opponents rancher than actually governing?

It’s two. Just look at your word balloon.

Ron, the Opportunistic Weasel! Sounds good to me!

I would be running to my office tomorrow morning too, like everyday!

Pigita!

There’s an idea. All candidates have to literally run. One individual stands out that wouldn’t even be able to fake a jog.

The LAST thing voters want is someone who is “candid”.

Nice to see Pigita

Pig and Pigita aren’t fighting? This is new.

Cynicism is just another term for lazy thinking.

“Never worked a day in my life” fits all of them but it’s too long, so I’d just go with “crook”.

To paraphrase humor writer Dave Barry, “Opportunistic Weasel” would also be an excellent name for a rock band.

So what’s stopping you from casting your hat in the ring? Attending party events? At least writing to your various representatives? You know, actually taking part in the process while you can. Start with the town council.

Pigita, wow, it’s been… a loooong time.

We already have words – con man is probably the best phrase.Admittedly, at the local level there are sometimes reasonably decent people running.

Everybody needs to stop the shaming. Weasels are actually fine creatures.

“Slimebucket” has a nice ring to it.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Pigita.

Just had to stir the pot Steph?

Hyphenate

I hope the treasonweasel doesn’t get elected.

Pigita is a b!tch.

I haven’t seen Pigita in a while. I thought that Pig was dating other women, too. I wonder if these two are getting back together.

What’s everybody got against weasels?

No, its synonym is “politician.” Closely following ‘political promises.’

Lawyerhood as opposed to lawyerdumb.

What we need are more people who care about public service

He wouldn’t be running for office if he just left on time.

Who wants to date a pig? Even with lipstick she’s still a pig.

Two words, Pigita. But accurate anyway.

Nice to see Pigita again!

coulda sworn that guy’s name was JD…

Voting for Trump is the equivalent of chickens voting for Colonel Sanders!

Speaking of opportunistic woman hating weasels…

‘Am I allowed to hit her now?’ Trump stuns with Michelle Obama remark

J.D. Vance calls Kamala Harris ‘trash’ at Michigan rally

Remember when JD called Trump ’America’s Hitler’?

And in case you didn’t see it before…

From Jim Wright:

Elon Musk in charge of the economy…

RFK Jr in managing your healthcare…

Mike Flynn commanding your military…

Charlie Kirk, Tucker Carlson, Steve Bannon, and the dead rotting corpse of Rush Limbaugh are the moral conscience of your America…

Stephen Miller decides your political ideology…

Laura Loomer is the voice and face of your nation…

Chief Justice Canon presides over a Supreme Court made up entirely of Trump appointees…

JD Vance in charge of reining in Trump’s worst impulses…

You have no healthcare, no Social Security, no civil rights, no jobs, no savings, no food, no home, no education, and no hope

Sound’s good, right?

No?

Well, then you better show up.

According to the etymology that I just made up, “candidate” comes from “Candida Albicans”, the fungus responsible for candidiasis, aka yeast infections, diaper rash, jock itch, etc. So political candidates are telling the truth when they claim to be a “fun guy.”

Brilliant, Stephan!!

Hey,most politicians aren’t half bad.

They’re ALL bad

This is grossly unfair to many good, dedicated public servants who run for elected office because they sincerely want to help their fellow citizens and make their lives better.

“The legitimate object of government is to do for a community of people whatever they need to have done, but cannot do at all, or cannot do so well, for themselves, in their separate and individual capacities.” —Abraham Lincoln

Has anybody ever heard Donald Trump laff out loud at something he thot was funny? The guy is relentlessly dour. I don’t think he has any sense of humor at all. Even when he tries to fake a smile, the best he can muster is a smirk, sneer, or grimace.

Oh great! Now I have to worry about weasels AND weevils?

One candidate supports your right to disagree with her. The other is the Fred Phelps of politics.

Obligatory pearl necklace for the female animal. How original.

Two words, but I say go for it!

How about the old classic, “carpetbagger”?

I candid ate a candi date.

You win some and you lose some, Ron.

Another reason English can be difficult to master.

Wrong etymology, it’s actually “candied date”, as in date palm.