Pickles by Brian Crane for October 19, 2020

Don’t be so hard on yourself Earl. What you’ve written so far isn’t that bad. At least it rhymes.

Roses are red / Lilacs are purple / Fur can be dried / On a rack called a fur pull.

Roses are red/ Clover is green/ That’s the worst poem/ I’ve ever seen.

I’ve written one poem in my life, in 2016. It is titled " When Hillary is elected," inspired by “Casey at the bat.” too many of you wouldn’t like it, and it’s 8 pages long anyway.

Did Mr. Crane come up with that cowboy poem on the fly?

Doggerel is NOT poetry. I do like a lot of Ogden Nash’s output, though.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I’m schizophrenic,

And so am I.

That’s better than the poems I can write, lol.

Who would think that, with a cowboy hat, Earl our guy, would give poetry a try!

It rhythms Earl so you are off to a good start.

Roses are red, carnations are red, lipstick is red, everything’s red.

Wonder what Opal will say when she reads it ?

Be careful, Earl, you don’t want to damage that nice cowboy hat!

“Roses are red… Bacon is greasy… Writing a poem… Sure the heck isn’t easy.” That will at least get the meter right, Earl. Sheesh, do I have to do EVERYTHING for you?!?

Roses are red… and so are balloons… As Earl once again… plays the role of buffoon.

Earl is a putz… But I remain hopeful… That the focus of things… Will soon shift to Opal.

“Roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, so’s maple syrple.” Roger Miller.

Well, Earl, if it ain’t got momma, trains, and shoot-outs, it ain’t a cowboy song. . .which country western star began a spoof song that way. . .Merle Haggard???

Roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one does not.

Roses are red bacon is good wish I was in bed sawing some wood.

He’s a poet and doesn’t know it!

Here-a-lie, there-a-lie, Everywhere LIES-LIES! …..Earl may not make a poem but he sure knows who he’s voting for….

I’m startin’ to think that Earl might be related to Wilford Brimley…..

No reason to say it , I guess . ?

He’s no Baxter Black

Don’t be a quitter don’t give inNever know what you can do with your noggin

Can I suggest blank verse?? Or you go the Sandburg route.

Boy, we sure got a manure truckload of trolls today.

Shouldn’t they be out walking their mutts and crapping on people’s lawns?

Earl needs “ironic perimeter” lessons :)

Roses are Red

Violets are Purple

You kisses are sweet

As Maple syruple.

Roger Miller lyrics.

Not a very good Cowboy Quote!

Earl should forget poetry and stick with something that he is good at like causing trouble.

Had me at bacon.

A little something I wrote many years ago:

My first haiku. Not

the best of efforts. I shall

try to do better.

I always liked the third line. Seemed like good advice for all aspects of my life.

Nice hat, wanna trade, Tatanka-Earl?

When a Rider of the Purple Sage/ Tried to put his words upon the page/ alas, this aging buckaroo/ was unable to lasso/ his cowboy muse or his poet’s mage.

It is all about letting out what is in your soul Earl – which apparently is … bacon. :-)

I can’t rhyme anything!

Is Earl going to Elko in January? Or maybe he was there last year in February and heard of it? In Elko, NV (that’s in northeastern Nevada) they have the Cowboy Poetry festival every January. Maybe Earl would like to attend to get some inspiration?

When did cowboys start writing poetry?

“He’s got a knocked out western accent with a Harlem touch” Cow Cow Boogie

BACON!

That is a poem in one word.

I agree on that bacon being greasy. For me that is close to writing a poem.

roses are red and violets are purple, sugar is sweet and so is maple surple – Dang Me, by Roger Miller

I like it!

Did anyone else wonder why “The Elderberries” was showing up so early in their list?

So roses are red

So violets are blue

So sugar is sweet

So so are you.

— Chico Marx, as a student asked by a professor to explain the symptoms of cirrhosis, in Horsefeathers.

Naw. That was pretty damn good actually! Earl is A LOT better than he should be!