Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for December 13, 2012

All my XX’s live in Texas !

I do not believe for a second 1 in 100 Americans could spot a error in syntax, usage or even know what punctuation is. So may as well dump the whole lot to isolated states.

Been saying this about Texas for years…

Thanks, Trudeau. I find that less than amusing.

Yep, that’s them Texas Tea Baggers we like to point at and giggle.

Let that be a warning to residents of all the States in the Union – elect morons to office and you will be mocked by Trudeau.

Um, the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Remedial Kindergarten is in Texas — which I think proves the point. …Besides, if you are very lucky, you will see its namesake taking classes once it opens…

“… WHEN … the productive sector of American society moves to the … separatist states ….”

Sorry, but you’ve got it reversed, Tucci.

First: Most, virtually all, wealth is inherited, not produced — by the leisure class, e.g. Paris Hilton. The exceptions — the Bill Gateses and the Steve Jobses — are rare indeed.

Second: This wealthy leisure class rides on the backs of the working class, and digs in the spurs, such as, by paying only minimum wage and by denying them as much as 40 working hours per week in order to deny them their benefits. (Read Thorsten Veblen.)

Third: You missed Trudeau’s point: The separatists who wrote the petition are the ones who are illiterate. And the 120,000 Texans who signed it are the ignorant, misinformed, low-IQ folk who (according to Earl) dis-improve the gene pool.

I wanted to read the petition to see if the grammar etc. is as bad “as all that”, but all I get is an error messages saying my IP address isn’t good enough. Maybe it’s because I’m in a foreign country??

While I do not desire any state to leave the union, please consider that California (which has been the butt of the conservatives here for ages) is not only the number one economy in the US by a large margin, it is also the eighth largest economy in the world!!

And we normal patriotic Americans in California, also have had to put up with insane separatists of our own!!

You are hilarious! Are these the liberal parasites who live in the states that give more to the government than they get? What are we all going to do when the “separatist states” (which receive much more than they send) leave?

Certain Texans have been screaming about seceding for many years. Let them go! I’m tired of hearing them brag about how great they are all the time and how the rest of the country stinks.

Thank you for the tip. I had managed to find it myself since my last post. (Going to Wikipedia worked better that an Internet search.) It probably is the right one; the number of signers seems to be about right.I don’t know about “syntax and usage”, and see no blatant punctuation errors. It is badly written though… maybe to try to cover up a lack of logic and connection to reality.

“The very best argument that getting rid of Texas will dramatically improve the Gene Pool for the rest of the country can be said with just two names!George W. BushRick Perry”

Keep in mind that Dubya’s genes originated in Kennebunkport, Maine. Lysenkoist arguments aside, his contribution to the Gene Pool can’t be blamed on Texas.

Perry, now that’s another matter…

No, you didn’t read it right. "Yearning to breathe free … " is the text.

Tucci is obvious a leftist extremist trying to make conservatives look bad by parodying Ayn Rand.

yes, Texas leaving would be an improvement. funny how the Rightwingers haven’t a clue, always spewing the Faux talking points.

it is fun/sad to watch them repeat the same things over and over.we mustn’t expect them to bring up fact and truths. that is way beyond their capacity, at least as long as they buy into the BS that is the Right wing.

education is a choice they refuse to take. as the Rightwingers prove, ignorance is bliss. while those that know otherwise have to pay for, like taxes.

and the Rich only got rich through the worker bees. somehow the Rich seem to think they got “rich” all by themselves. part and parcel of the Ignorance they live by.

The heretofore TPers, now “secessionists,” are also the ones who:• Proclaim their rabid support of the Constitution, calling themselves “patriots” and “Real Americans™,” yet now are clamoring to secede.• What’s more, they are also dead certain that the Constitution (guess again…) says that “All men are created equal…” (women and “coloreds” not so much…). Among other things, to them that means their “facts” that they invent are equal to your facts and my facts. • Loudly chant “USA! USA! USA!” at every opportunity.• Make a big deal over the recitation of the “Pledge of Allegiance,” never realizing it was penned by a socialist, Francis Bellamy. Bellamy was also one of the originators of the Nazi stiff-arm salute which was intended to go with his pledge (the Bellamy salute). They also don’t realize that “under God” was added the Pledge as a political sop in the 1950s.• Loudly proclaim their Christianity, yet don’t give a “gosh darn” about the poor and lead lives that are pretty much the antithesis of their Christ’s teachings.• Hate immigrants, yet whose ancestors were the immigrants that overran and stole this land from its original inhabitants. They stole it first, fair & square! It’s theirs!And on and on and so it goes. Perhaps they could just “self-deport” themselves, but there’s a rumor that both Mexico and Canada are building fences…

Any person who no longer wishes to be an American citizen can go to the consular official of their choice and formally renounce their citizenship.. I strongly recommend that everyone who signed a secession petition do exactly that.

You would think, reading some online discussions like this, that “Conservative” and “Liberal” were two mutually exclusive and irreconcilable religions or eternally opposed tribes. Most people, left to think for themselves, will naturally be “liberal” on some issues, “conservative” on others, and apathetic on still others. Some stands have been called conservative in one generation and liberal in another. All the name-calling, all the “libs are …” and “cons are …” rhetoric, though it may be fun, is stupid and misses the point. (I’ve been guilty of this, too.) What do you think if the man who says he want to go back to the system that prevailed in the 19th century, when taxes and social services were both kept to a minimum but all persons who did not have a criminal records or communicable diseases were permitted to come and live in this country with an easy road to citizenship if he/she behaved once here? Is this a liberal or a conservative view? Or the one who believes that the government ought not to be able to tell you who you can marry, what you do with your own body, when you can or cannot terminate a pregnancy, what chemicals you can or cannot ingest for your amusement, what weapons you can or cannot own, or what risks you can or cannot take? Is that viewpoint conservative or liberal? I know people who believe in universal single-payer health insurance because it would cost less, liberate businesses and individuals to pursue their goals without risk of medical bankruptcy, and would eliminate vast swathes of government regulation and red tape. How about the man who wants to eliminate the IRS and our Byzantine tax code, and replace it with a simpler code focused on revenue only and not social engineering, as long as the new code is more progressive than the present one? Or who want taxes rates cut, and the military greatly scaled back at the same time? Liberal or conservative? Libertarian is neither Con nor Lib as they are commonly defined. And neither cons nor libs are easily defined. A friend just did her dissertation on the experience of self-defined conservatives in a certain profession: though all the participants called themselves conservative, there was not a single issue on which they ALL agreed other than that they all called themselves conservatives. It is thinking in simple binary us-them categories that does the real harm. United We Stand, Divided We Fall.

To those who argue that Texas, after secession, would “keep their oil”, i.e., as a leveraged asset to gouge the U.S. as a major revenue source – remember that almost ALL of the oil wells in Texas are on federal land LEASED by the U.S. government. Upon secession, Texas would have to remove all their oil wells, pumping stations, storage tanks and pipelines.

Of course they could pay the U.S. government compesation but, then, the U.S. government would set the price for said compensation.

Look who would gouge whom!

I think its why they are leaving whats left of California and going to Texas. Its no longer go west, but go southwest. Libs eat your heart out. The ones from San Francisco go to Austin, the rest of the state is open to normal people.

Just thought of another thing about the oil.

Without compensation to the U.S. government, oil leaving the ports of Houston or Galveston could be barred from entering U.S. ports. No European or Asian country (except for, maybe, China) would recognize the Republic of Texas or face the wrath of the U.S. Oil tankers shipped to China would be cost prohibitive for China.

That would leave the Republic of Texas only one outlet to Asian markets: sending oil through a pipeline in …… wait for it…… Mexico! (Santa Ana, call your agent!)

Just one more comment on secession. I suspect if we put it up to a vote, Texas – and every other state – would choose to stay in the Union. Perhaps that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Let the state go in peace if the whole state votes to go. But if the whole state votes to stay, then let the proponents of secession either accept it and stop the nonsense – or emigrate.

Perhaps New Englanders can laugh at the Texans’ bad grammar, but we can’t do that in Georgia. According to the latest poll, 82% of Georgia residents think that Syntax, Usage and Punctuation is a New York law firm.

Right on!!!, GT

And if we admit Puerto Rico, we won’t have to change the flag!

Hey, don’t badmouth the Dubya Liberry- it contains the worlds largest collection of beginning picture books in the world—

Syntax etc errors:

1. It may be a US/UK thing, or a peculiarity of how petitions should be worded; but if none of these, then ‘peacefully grant the SoT PERMISSION to withdraw’, or maybe even better “peacefully pemit the SoT to withdraw”?

2. Not “neglect to reform”; “neglecting to reform” if you insist, but “failure to reform” is better.

3. Comma after “rights”, I would suggest.

4. Either “practical” or “feasible”, or even “feasible in practice” (though that breaks Orwell’s sixth rule), but because “practically” has two meanings, “practically feasible” looks like it means “almost feasible”.

5. Full stop – sorry, period – after “union”, new sentence “To do so…”

6. “its”, not “it’s” !!! Howler!

7. I’d prefer a comma after “living”: one is gramatically required before “which” (though they have correctly chosen “which” rather than “that”, I suspect by accident).

It never ceases to amaze me that, when people are dissatisfied with something their government is, or isn’t doing, their first instinct is to run away ( secede ), rather than try to find an logical solution.But then, these type of people, are neither logical nor rational. They tend to adhere to all sorts of bizarre conspiracy theories and are extremely vociferous in their denunciations and proclamations. I have, long ago, given up trying to have an intelligent discussion with fanatics. Although this strip provides a forum for wit and open dialogue, certain individuals would prefer resorting to name calling. Any merit their argument might have, is lost in vituperation.

In reality, grasshoppers get along fine without ants. Apparently, you’re getting your information from children’s stories whose connection with science is tenuous at best.

Tucci, I see the effort, but I’m afraid that to be an effective troll you’re going to have to receive some further troll training.

I’m pretty sure that when we once again have a white president, of either party, all this secesh talk will die down instantly.

texas will be a swing state in 5 years, and democrat in 10 years. demographics are changing in texas.

Errors: (1) “grant” does not have an object. Grant what? “Allow” would have worked. (2) “neglect to” does not work. “Failure” would have been OK usage. (3) “it’s.” Wrong. “Its” is a possessive adjective. “It’s” means “it is.” A formal petition should have better usage to be taken more seriously.

Three points:`1. Texas, or any other state, has no right to unilaterally secede from the U.S. Federal Union. This is a matter of law firmly established by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1869 in the landmark case Texas v. White.`2. Texas does have the right – unique among all other states – to divide itself into up to five states if the Texas legislature deems it desirable. This was one of the provisions of the annexation ordinance of 1845 approved by both the governments of the United States and the Republic of Texas. (It hasn’t happed in 167 years, and I doubt ever will.)`3. Only certifiable nut cases actually advocates the secession of Texas, or any other state. (This point should be obvious.)

Dylanneed to actually look up facts and not quote moveon.org propaganda. 75% of all millionaires are first generation. Not the aristocracy you so much want to hate. Tucci got it right! Go Tuccie!!!! Robert, California is about to do a PIIGS and go bankrupt unless taxpayers in other states pay for their misused funds!In Texas we pay our bills.

to Agent 54… it should be " ‘an’ error"…..

I seem to be the only reader of Doonesbury reader who’s more interested in what’s Earl’s $$$-making angle than in the fate of the State of Texas. We probably won’t find out until next week. Oh, the suspense….

Exactly my point.

Trudeau hasn’t been funny for years, and has been an idiot for along time too. There is no better state in the union than Texas and the fact that he does not know it also shows his ignorance.

Remember the Alamo! Remember Texas? Naw……

And who can deny it’s not true? No one who’s ever heard “Wreck” Perry.

That last sentence is almost unintelligible. I think I figured it out finally. I hate to break it to you, but the rest of the country probably forgot about the attempted Texas secession the day after they learned it in history class. If you are referring to citizens of Texas not knowing this, it’s because the textbooks have been dumbed down by the state. And, yes, racism and a lack of comprehension of others’ feelings are often caused by low intelligence.

Seriously, who would miss Texas?

And there is no one more parasitic than the corporate CEOs who suck all of the $$ for themselves and leave their workers to have to supplement a living from the taxpayers.

Texas: both a Southern state where it’s legal to marry one’s sister, and a Western state where men are men and cows back into their stalls.

I think that’s horses, Podner, cow don’t usually live in stalls.

@Robert Landers – evidently you are still living in the 1980’s CA is no longer the 8th largest economy in the world. It is no next to last among the 50 states.http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2010/10/the-best-and-worst-performing-state-economies-in-america/64307/49th :: CaliforniaDebt per capita: $9,228 (39th)Unemployment rate: 12.4% (48th)Home price change (2006-2009): -28.3% (49th)Median household income: $58,931 (9th)

While it does not quite rank as the worst state on our list, California stands out as being among the most poorly governed. America’s most populous state has been mired in debt and political unrest for nearly a decade. It bears the unique honor of being the only state considered economically unstable enough to have its debts rated at an A- by S&P. It ranks 42nd in the country in health insurance coverage, despite having a state-sponsored health insurance program. The Golden State also ranks 48th in high school completion. Between 2006 and 2009, California experienced the second worst household value decline, with occupied homes losing an average of nearly 30% percent of their value.

If secession could guarantee that the rest of us would no longer be subject to Texas-standard school-books, that would be a major boost in national I.Q, too..

Texas! I wish it was a another Country!

But will Mexico take them back?

think Idiocracy

“There will be a mysterious fire at Gary Trudeau’s house tonight.”

To threaten arson is both illegal and unfunny.

Dang. Didn’t mean to cross out the words “I’m a pacifist” … formatting problems.

I wonder if California’s problems could be attributed to the Republican governors and legislators who have done such a lousy job of running the state. That, compounded with Prop 13 in 1978, led to a state that could not support what the citizens wanted and needed to be done. I remember when CA education was the envy of the nation, and now it’s a train wreck. This is the problem facing the United States, and the reason we are headed to Third World status.

Your expansion of the history of the Nazi salute is quite correct. That’s why I phrased it as “one of the originators of the Nazi stiff-arm salute.” Note should be taken, however, that Francis Bellamy was himself an ardent national socialist, in essence if not precisely in name. Thus, while it’s open to some debate in detail, he and his salute were quite clearly one of the direct ancestors of the Nazi salute.

“What he doesn’t point out is that the 120,000 signatures are from other states.”

• Who’s the antecedent to “he”? (To omit the antecedent to a personal pronoun is a grammatical error.) • Earl says “over 120,000 Texans signed [the petition].” • I lolled at your post, though. Which is rare for me.

“GT, are you trying to tell us that Texas is populated by illiterate imbeciles?”

Trudeau’s attributing that sentiment to the fictional snark-shark Earl, while he, Trudeau, Doonesbury’s author, remains mysteriously aloof.

When Texas secedes, Louisiana might just join it.

Should have done that pre Bush!

I moved to Texas and unintentionally raised the average IQ of both Texas and the state I was leaving.

Recycling Will Rogers!!

Just be glad you don’t live in Canada. The separatists here are weird.

As for the Tex-asses…?“Let ’em go… let ’em go… let ’em go…”

ATGE… I really like you!.- excellent posts, thank you.

Actually, as it is th red states that have the highest welfare rolls. I say go Texas get all those fools out of America and into Texas. then Liberals will finally be able to not have a bunch of whinny conservatives crying cause the State and Federal government support them in their “life styles”.

So I say let Texas secede do it. And then the rest of this country can finally make a real dollar.

There was a time when this strip was actually funny. Now it has become nothing more than another liberal political cartoon that would be more appropriate on the editorial page than the comics page. I have removed it from my comics list. Thanks for the humor while it lasted Trudeau

The first thing one of these Southern states would do upon secession would be to repeal all civil rights laws, including and especially the right to vote. These guys also enjoy jailing black people for minor infractions and making them work it off. See where that goes? No secession, boys.

“Let the commies OWN their coming failures so that even a blind man may see who is the real enemy of freedom.”

Freedom to reinstitute slavery. Freedom to maim and kill as you feel all over the world? Freedom to lie to start a war? Freedom to send poor kids off to die face down in a desert while rich kids become President and Vice President? Freedom to …. Well, most people here will get the point even if you don’t.

“Most American wealth is earned.”

Where’s your evidence?

“Trudunce was insulting all of Texas ….”

Trudeau’s fictional character Earl — not Trudeau as author — was insulting Texas.

“Every Republican in Congress should step aside ….”

I agree with this, the first part of your sentence.

“… obama tyranny, like soviet tyranny, refuses to recognize borders.”

Obama didn’t transgress the borders of Iraq and Afghanistan (the 2d war there), W.Bush did. Big O, despite the surge, is really trying to draw us down and get us the health out.

As for the rest of your nonsense, no comment.

Having lived in Texas I know the politicians are idiots.

“Texass would fail the month after everyone with a brain left it.”

Do cattle have brains?

Yes, except almost all the States that are net contributors to the Union are Blue states like CA and NY and so on. They have the highest incomes, education levels, and contribute more in taxes than they receive in federal spending. .Red Midwest and southern states are almost universally net takers – receiving more back in benefits, job creation programs, and other federal spending then they contribute in tax revenue. Texas, thanks to oil, is the exception, but it’s hardly like business and industry are going to leave their prosperous homes, mostly on the East and West Coasts, to move to a mythic Texas freeland. The real world looks nothing like an Ayn Rand novel.