Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for March 12, 2013

Hey! Someone called this!

But, wow, hey?

I don’t see anything……….[uhoh]

Big woo. This is hilarious. I wonder who will make babies with Ann Eiffle.

OK, I totally didn’t see this coming!

I still don’t trust that snake!

I still can’t see yesterday’s Ripley’s Believe it or Not

OMG, who just called this?! High five, yo!

Guess those court-ordered anger management classes worked.

Relax folks… It’s just his sister.

Here I was thinking he’d enlisted and been sent to Afghanistan.

Mommy looks like an Anorexic crackhead.

Wow, Even DIRK’s Not SAFE from Terminal Domestication!

Hey, D-Man! You SHOULD have REMEMBERED the Old Chinese Proverb: “HAPPY Wife? LIFE!!!!!”

Ok, now Toni is going to hear the alarm on her biological clock ringing. I can hear the wedding bells, now!

Might this have something to do with Toni finally wanting to get married to Brad? Maybe at least partly because she sees that Dirk really and truly is completely out of the picture, moved on, etc., and therefore no possible threat any more? As in, no threat of him showing up and disrupting a wedding, laying for Brad—or for her—and so on? Might she now feel a kind of relief, and find herself able to move on as well?

Assuming it’s his baby and his girlfriend/wife, that is. I really like how it’s Dirk with the baby, not the woman.

Toni, take a deep breath and…..remember the bad times….remember the bad times. You don’t want to go back….@dajellybelly… the girl does NOT look like an anorexic crackhead…she looks like a friendly type of person who is greeting Toni as a friend, not a rival. And, she doesn’t need Dirk, either..unless the little baby really is theirs.

I don’t trust Dirk and… Toni, remember the bad times.

that’s dirk’s sister?? i didn’t know he HAD a sister….

omg. what if that’s Shannon’s real Mom. . . . ?

The lady bears a strong resemblance to Dirk and there is no ring on Dirk’s finger- she is his sister! This is just the beginning of a new Toni – Dirk story arc.

Wull, stomp on frogs and shove a crowbar up my nose. Never saw that coming… other folks are smarter than I.

“why do I always run into my ex when I look….”

…I think they did a horrible job drawing Dirk’s wife. Dude was macho enough to do better then that. But…he’s a father now. Good for him.

Mystery woman has her hand around Dirk’s arm. Bet Dirk gets sent off for formula to she and Toni can talk. Oh to be a stockboy in that aisle…

All I can say about Dirk’s wife is YIKESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

If Dirk has anything resembling honor, and actually loves the woman next to him, it is highly unlikely there will be any cheatin’ going on (particularly in a family strip)

This does not bode well…

Well, if he knocked up a woman and has the baby slung like that, I’d like to hope he’s learned SOMETHING about love. Else he’ll make a run for worst father ever.

Called it!.Performs Chicken Dance of Victory.

“That’s what happens to your hair when you mess with a Van De Graaff generator…”I wouldn’t mess with any English bands.

+1 for its his sister.

DUUUUUUDE!!

Is there room for all those groceries in their trailer?

Alright, everybody, settle down! Don’t you remember, Dirk has found the Lord? (Or the Lord has found him….) anyway, I suspect that this is the woman that helped bring about the change in him and going to her was why he said he wouldn’t be around to bother the DeGroots anymore.Who knows? Maybe he’s a pastor at some church where the women eschew makeup and such?Just thinkin’……..

no ring on his finger but she has his arm locked. That is his girlfriend but this is not his baby. Not enough time has passed.

Luannverse time is a flexible thing. Besides, he could’ve knocked her up anywhen.

After taking Brad this far along – if Toni has put marriage with Brad off because she still had thoughts of going back to Dirk – she is not a good person – no matter how beautiful and charming. Maybe Dirk had a kid with some woman who split after having the kid – then the woman by his side could be any relation. That would remind Toni of her brother. Hopefully Toni will not slip backward. Besides – I had Dirk reserved for AE – she wouldn’t #@&* with Dirk!

Okay, I really, REALLY hope Luann’s world is not like our own and there’s no chance of backslide now that he’s presumably worked out all his anger issues, because being possessive, emotionally abusive and prone to violence are NOT good qualities when dealing with an infant. O_O

I’m going to give this a conventional reading and assume that the bright-eyed lass (by no means uncomely!) with her hand on Dirk’s arm is his wife and the mother of the child he is carrying in the baby-sling. From this it follows that Toni’s momentary astonishment will soon be replaced with congratulations to the reformed big lug. And, yes, this will also lead her to reconsider the terms of her relationship with Brad—towards a more perfect union….

Imagine if the next thing Dirk asks is, “So, have you married that Brad guy yet?”

as if Toni’s slacking off by not!

why is he wearing sunglasses INSIDE the store???

wow has dirk been busy

Looks, as if Dirk was double dipping; this is why he wanted to make sure it was over with Toni, so that he could do the right thing and marry the girl he got pregnant while he was with Toni. She looks like Whitney Houston, when she was totally wasted! Or maybe crack whore in a windstorm; that said, she looks like a nice person.

^^Seems like that would be aukward in front of his Wife and baby

If that is Dirk’s wife standing to the side, when she sees what Dirk’s ex looks like, she is going to go into a deep depression, knowing that her best day will not even come close to Toni’s worst.^^Looks aren’t everything… you yourself found out that a “plain” girl is often a better choice; and since this is how you explained your fascination with Bernice, I am taking you at your word

Mikeyj, there is hope. If Dirk can come back, then it is possible that Diane can return also. Dirk v Brad went for years and we have seen it before. Toni v Diane? Not only would that could be new, that would also be hot.^^No argument there

Me too. If that turns out to be Dirk’s sister, Toni realizes she still has a chance to win Dirk back. The biological clock will be answered. Brad will wonder what hit him.^^You’ve let Nancy talk you into thinking of Toni as a real shrew!

My thoughts also. She gets back with Toni’s brother, they fall in love again, take Shannon and move to Australia and become best friends to Quill. We get rid of monster Shannon and get monster Dirk in exchange.^^No WAY, Shannon’s Mom is Ann Eiffel… who’s finger she tried to bite off once! (the irony!) :P

^^Lev… you’re starting to sound like another confused person in this forum

For those of you wondering what Ann Eiffel is doing now…..

Click on the pic for a clearer, larger picture ^^

Maybe Dirk is just ‘counseling’ a young, unmarried mother and is taking her and the baby out to buy them groceries. In this new role, Toni would be blown away by the ‘new Dirk’ and Brad would have a legitimate reason to be worried.

Greg, you need to go back to the ol’ drawing board there with Dirk’s female companion. She’s a bit… Seuss-y…

@pacopuddy: an abuser would not make obvious bruises. @locura, yes the whole point of the set-up yesterday and the chance meeting today is that Toni is looking like $h*t and hating it.

Pity the infant in Dirk’s care.

Hope Dirk is less like a used diaper.

Hope Bwad doesn’t get involved.

Hope lady with Dirt errr Dirk is his one and only true love.

If he loses the shades, then that will maybe reflect a true change in him.

A sister wouldn’t be holding his arm like that.

WOW Dirk… How the mighty have fallen..

Presuming he is married and the kid is his.

9 out of 10 times this is what happens after the guy loses the better looking woman. He suddenly realizes that what he wants may not be everything the hot girl had to offer.

Awww who am I kidding.. The girlfriend/wife was the rebound that ended in marriage.. OK he has manned up and looks to be at least trying to do the right thing. Kudos on that level of maturity.

well there really is someone for everyone.

Riiiiight.

New arc…biological clock running for Toni

Toni is going to either: a) run back to Brad and push him to get married, etc, or b) run back to Brad and break up with him for not being like Dirk.

So there’s his girlfriend,and he lost hair. Weird right?

Didn’t Dirk have cancer?

Geez, for a moment there I thought Dirk was dating Astli from Wapsi Square…

All domesticated, uh huh…

Not to confuse folks, bit sometimes babies are produced without marriage being involved. We would HOPE Dirk is married to any mothers of any children he has fathered just as we would hope he has repented of his previous evil ways, but such is not a given truth.

Might not be his family. He could just be helping that woman.It could be part of his whole “rehabilitation” thing. If so, could this make Toni confused over him and Brad…….

OMG! Put your hair back on!

It is good to understand that you don’t understand. ‘Tis the beginning of true understanding. Now, if you just don’t blow it…

Weird.

Introducing his wife to Toni means he has no shame for his abusive past, unless I missed the week where he showed contrition.

Time for Toni to move on. Which she won’t. Because we can’t. Because this is a comic strip, not a soap opera.

And they have sex scenes in soap operas. Which is also weird. But not quite porn. But kinda is.

Cue dramatic soap opera music on frame 3 of this strip anyway.

Ann Eiffle and TJ!!!

Just thinking about Dirk the other day. Got my answer. What a blindside!

. . . right out of left field.

Why is Toni shopping at Walmart

Message to Toni — “Everyone is moving on with their lives. Everyone, that is, except you!”

Would it not be funny if this changes Toni’s attitude towards marriage only to find out that Brad has cooled to the idea? Either that or she finds that her earlier hostility to the idea has made Brad gun shy. He’s not about to propose only to be rejected yet again.

Either scenario would make for an interesting story arc.

obviously someone has seen real dads being willing to step up and take care of their offspring. including carrying them around in a babyslling.

Count me in the “Wake up call to Toni” group. I hope it does cause her to move forward with Brad. Shannon, I think, has been a good “paternity test case” for Brad. And he passed with flying colors. It’s time to tie the knot.

BTW: I see a note up top that says Greg Evans will be “live tweeting” on Fri 03/15 @ 1:30p CT for 1hr. Hopefully, we’ll get some questions answered. #LuannLIVE

Whoa! Did NOT see that one coming!

@Hank That was my first thought

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Married, girlfriend or sister it’s funny.

lady looks like a scarecrow

HA!

Maybe this will make Toni hear her clock ticking and decide it’s time to get busy with Brad.

Remember, last time Dirk was around, he said he wasn’t going to be bothering them again. This was well over 9 months ago. He may have met this women in his anger management classes and married her at that time-Dirk needed someone who not only could stand up to him, but understands where the anger comes from. Toni may have not believed this and, as a result, was afraid that Dirk would come back and mess up her, her life and Brad if she got married to Brad. In fact, Dirk may not even live in that town anymore, but is visiting family or friends. They’re shopping because a) they need formula and diapers and b) fixing dinner for the people they’re staying with. Once Toni realizes she really is safe, then Brad has a shot. Besides, look at Toni’s experience with men. Dirk was abusive and her brother is a dead beat who can’t take care of his own kid properly. She may be scared that Brad may do the same.

I know some readers/Luann fans aren’t convinced Dirk has changed. I’m in the ‘cautiously optimistic’ camp. This should be interesting.

Congratulations, Dirk! Is it a boy or a girl? You must be such a proud papa! Gotta run now.*(Remember, Toni and Luann now both know the pitfalls of parenting— remember the last two days.)

Looks like he put on a little weight. It would be good if he has gotten his life together and not a pain in the @#$% anymore. But this may give Toni ideas. If that cretin can find someone and have a productive, happy life together, why not her also?

Note that Toni’s picking up medicine— she’s being maternal too! Yesterday’s commenter may be right, that this is a set up to encourage Luann to go to college rather than get married & have babies!*(Toni cleaned up remarkably nice in such a short time)

Dirk finally embraces his feminine side.

Who knew?

Tony still looks good “frazzled”. Dirks GF/Wife is kinda weird looking.

His wife/girlfriend looks like a “tweaker”. Just sayin.

If Toni leaves Brad, I hope she winds up in the Land of Aaron Hill. (people we never see again).

I thought they knocked Dirk off over 3 years ago(he was a garbage man)..or left us guessing?

First let me say that Luann is my all time favorite comic strip. It is a great comic strip with sophisticated and humorous wit. Now let me say that Toni need to have an understanding with her brother. Nothing like a spoiled brat to ruin the day.

Need to add an “edit” button as in “Toni NEEDS to have an understanding…”

On a different note, shouldn’t the celery be in a bag? It would get all notched up otherwise.

Ya know what? I really hope that is Dirk’s wife and his baby. It would be nice for somebody in the strip, beside Luann and Brad’s parents, to be married and raising children. Call me crazy, but I, for one, would like to see that Dirk found someone worth growing up for – his wife and newborn baby – and is making good with his life.

okay, he’s wearing shades in the store. that’s a little sketchy right there.

It is still more interesting than the Luann/Tiffany/Random Boy triangle retread!

Wow! ‘What a surprise’ is right!

@Lonnie Cavenee

How the mighty have fallen.^^You mean the Ann cartoon? Yeah, she’s likely ruined her chance on the corporate ladder, twice she’s been shown to be corrupt and sexually harassing her employees (1 girl, 2 boys, so far); I figure she’d likely wind up in a dead end job, just to pay her bills…. Free sample girl is about as low as someone like her could go!

WHOA!

There seem to be two camps here.

1. Toni is going to dump Brad because Dirk the Jerk has reappeared.

2. The sight of a domesticated Dirk will make her want to take her relationship with Brad to the next level.

I hope it’s #2. If it’s #1, I think Toni will be more hated than Ann Eiffel. Just my 2¢.

Whaaaaaaaa?!

Frizzy and baby are in danger…..

Did someone predict 220 posts?Good call.

I think this is closure for Toni. Now she can really move on and do the married thing with Brad. And to all you that have commented on how Drik’s woman looks…the way she looks says a lot. She looks happy thrilled to be with him. He did not need a “perfect” woman like Toni to be happy…he has moved on and closed the part of his life that contained Toni.

WOW!

That is not how time works in this universe. It is not 52 of our days for each one of theirs. It is that time swoops around in repetitive circles. The year ends, then the same year begins. Some events remain in the same year, some events migrate to the past, and some events just cease to have ever existed. There is no followable logic to it. So you could be right about those events from 3 years ago happening just last week, or Dave53 could be right about it being 3 years in the past, or it may have just never happened at all anymore.

The last time we saw Dirk he had something he wanted to tell Toni and never got it out. Maybe he was trying to invite her to his wedding.

Night-Gaunt49 said, 13 minutes ago

@Mikeyj

Why guns were invented-the great equalizer.^^There’s nothing great about guns; they are a curse on society

The missus looks no worse than Crystal did in her first strip, and look how she turned out.

If the Luann strip wants to remain the number one out there, then Ann has to be brought back. Look at how she united almost everyone in hating her.^^I’m not saying she can’t come back, just saying it’s unlikely that she will have any chance at a big corporate job this time.

Dirk a daddy?!!!!..who’ da thunk it??!!!!!!!

See? Lots of options for a dwelling

HAHA!!

He’s bald?

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!