Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 30, 2019

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    BE THIS GUY  over 5 years ago

    The superiority of being miserable.

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    DarthRevan  over 5 years ago

    DRINK kale? No thanks.

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    matjestaet  over 5 years ago

    Add more joy, add beer !

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    Templo S.U.D.  over 5 years ago

    don’t give in, Fred, to the crunchy, fried, fattening delicious onion rings!

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    gbars70  over 5 years ago

    Didn’t know you could drink kale.

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    SheitlQueen  over 5 years ago

    Is a member of the spandex mafia about to cross over into the forbidden land of onion rings?

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    B UTTONS  over 5 years ago

    Little does Jef or Fred realize, Joy serves Pig his onion rings.

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    DennisinSeattle  over 5 years ago

    Pig is on the Marie Kondo diet.

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    macky87  over 5 years ago

    “Extra grease”? I’d say more like ‘extra love.’ And when is that a bad thing? More love please!

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    Robin Harwood  over 5 years ago

    No, Fred. Take it from me. Joy is not an option, even if you like onion rings. They, too, will be a disappointment.

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    SonicFan91  over 5 years ago

    I hate all of you cyclits. What, they’ll take that as a compilment

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    wmwiii Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Jef may be superior physically, but his grammar could use a little improvement.

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    matjestaet  over 5 years ago

    And yet it IS possible to eate kale: the German/Dutch/Scandinavian way, voilà: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gr%C3%BCnkohlessen

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    matjestaet  over 5 years ago

    I forgot to tell that Grünkohlessen involves much beer and schnapps…..thus: joy to the world !

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    the lost wizard  over 5 years ago

    We can cycle back to this one Jef.

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    Yontrop  over 5 years ago

    What Jef is doing is Kale abuse.

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    c001  over 5 years ago

    “Frazz” instead of “Fred” would’ve be nice.But maybe “Fred” is an allusion.

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    Troglodyte  over 5 years ago

    Pig’s words have the ring of truth!

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    jackhammer165  over 5 years ago

    Cyclists have rules (http://www.velominati.com/), rule #5 being particularly important, but fortunately kale consumption isn’t mandatory!

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    everett_r0  over 5 years ago

    You know you aren’t going to get out of this life alive, so you might as well enjoy what it has to offer while you’re here….

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    HeckleMeElmo  over 5 years ago

    Jef and Fred do not spark joy. Throw them out!

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Cycling brings me joy. Onion rings also brings me joy.

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    chris_weaver  over 5 years ago

    Resist temptation and drink only the Kale-Aid!

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    Breadboard  over 5 years ago

    Pig you need a Cheeseburger to go with those onion rings (More Joy ! ) ……. Croc Power !

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 5 years ago

    You don’t really live much longer if you eat healthy, it is just that you think you are as time drags on eternally when you exercise. 1 minute of exercising is like a month long.

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    Geophyzz  over 5 years ago

    Mr. Pastis is giving us cyclists an undeserved slap. The multiple winner of the World’s hardest, craziest ultramarathon, The Race Across America, was won by Lon Haldeman; and he did it on junk food. One of his kale-drinking competitors confessed to complete demoralization when he saw Haldeman pull into a McDonalds.

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    cdward  over 5 years ago

    I don’t get why Pastis has such a vendetta against cyclists. I’m not hard core or anything, but I like taking the bike out. I also like onion rings and beer.

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    Joseph Shelby Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Cyclists around me drink beer. There’s about 16 micro-breweries along the W&OD Trail in northern Virginia. There’s 4 breweries along a bike trail in DC.

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    wrd2255  over 5 years ago

    Many hate Beemer drivers. In Boca Raton, snooty cyclists are who Beemers hate.

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    Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Fans of kale should see today’s (04/30) “Heathcliffe” kartune!

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    Snolep  over 5 years ago

    Jef’s buddy should be Ffred.

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    josballard  over 5 years ago

    Kale is good – you just have to cover it with enough butter and salt.

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    jonesbeltone  over 5 years ago

    Reminds me of the opening scene of “The Road to Wellville” where Bridget Fonda upbrades the man sharing their table on the train for eating oysters. “Their in their own piss, piss!” Great movie.

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    Gent  over 5 years ago

    I don’t want your onion rings, Pig. I want you!

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    Squoop  over 5 years ago

    Could not agree more that people who are driven by ego and competition do not tend to be happy people. But as for healthy food, it can be way more delicious than junk food if you know how to cook. And being healthy keeps one a lot happier than being sick.

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    Zebrastripes  over 5 years ago

    Fred is freaking out just like PIG always does!

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    Smokie  over 5 years ago

    I see Fred going to the dark side. MMMMMM!! Onion rings with extra grease!!!!

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    mattro65  over 5 years ago

    I’m a cyclist and I love onion rings. My onion rings, however, are superior to yours.

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    Ray  over 5 years ago

    It’s “we cyclists”, Jef.

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    JohnDough  over 5 years ago

    We drink kale, not us drink kale.

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    William Robbins Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Well… holier-than-thou people aside, fit & healthy people are happier. Not hard to find goodies that fit into the lifestyle.

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    Masterskrain  over 5 years ago

    Jef really IS an insufferable @#%, isn’t he??

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    Ermine Notyours  over 5 years ago

    Last week I saw a bicyclist smoking. It was at night, and it was the only light he was putting off.

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    Ivan Araque  over 5 years ago

    God knows I love healthy food, but I’m having those onion rings for BREAKFAST!

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    El Cobbo Grande  over 5 years ago

    Still don’t know…..

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    hooglah  over 5 years ago

    Beer is more fun.

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    gigagrouch  over 5 years ago

    Feh… speaking for myself and most of my fellow cyclists, nothing is off the menu! (except kale and quinoa)

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    gigagrouch  over 5 years ago

    Must be Triathletes.

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    Radish the wordsmith  over 5 years ago

    Make that donut with extra grease, this one’s for the chief of police.

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    walstib Premium Member over 5 years ago

    I never read the book or saw the movie, but is this what “Lord of the Rings” is all about?

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    DCBakerEsq  over 5 years ago

    The only thing worse than kale is Brussels sprouts. Ugh.

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    garysmigs  over 5 years ago

    I loved my two wheelers as a kid growing up, and even more when I found out you could get them with an engine and they were called Hogs!

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    WCraft Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Thanks for the suggestion – White Castle here I come!

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    Masterskrain  over 5 years ago

    Interesting thought… why are people who ride Bicycles called Cyclists, but the people who ride Motorcycles are called Bikers?

    Shouldn’t it be the other way around???

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    57BelAir  over 5 years ago

    I get joy from riding my bicycle, beautiful scenery, raised heart rate, burn calories, drink more beer later.

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    Bookworm  over 5 years ago

    Now I have this urge to go to a local drive-in for a double order of onion rings. At my age, I’ll take my joy where I can get it.

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    jvn  over 5 years ago

    Cheese on onion rings? Whoa whoa whoa… is that an option?!

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    William A Short Premium Member over 5 years ago

    while us cyclists?-OMG. It’s we.

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    soaringblocks  over 5 years ago

    hahaha! This is a WINNER! You totally captured it!

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    Stream of conscience  over 5 years ago

    Smoothie

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    Bonita Voigt  over 5 years ago

    Yes… onions rings do “spark joy.”

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    magdala666  over 5 years ago

    If more folks had joy in their lives, “what a wonderful world this would be.”

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    TheLetterista.com  over 5 years ago

    Good going, Pig. That’s better than a hit and run.

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    well-i-never  over 5 years ago

    I was number 333!

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    alison  over 5 years ago

    Choose joy! If you have a choice, choose joy. Always.

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    Chris Sherlock  over 5 years ago

    Is it the onion rings that bring joy or the grease in them? With me, it’s definitely the latter!

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    Sisyphos  over 5 years ago

    Fred the Apostate! Jef the Cyclist will have to get him off the road now!

    Pig, on the other greasy hand, has made a convert! Evangelize the whole biker gang, Pig!

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    Cavenee Lonnie Premium Member over 5 years ago

    And cyclists wonder why everybody hates them.

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    dwkiser28603  over 5 years ago

    Give into the dark side Fred,you know you want to!

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    aunt granny  over 5 years ago

    No way those guys could get 600 kcal/hour of fuel out of kale.

    Come to think of it . . . I don’t recall “Jef the Cyclist” ever being depicted on or near a bicycle.

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