A grasshopper goes into a bar and asks for a screw driver and the bar tender says “Do you know we have a drink named after you”? And the grasshopper says “Really….. you have drink named Irving”?
It depends on how far back I could go. 8th grade? 3rd grade? Birth? In the womb? Before conception? Precambrian? The instant before the Big Bang? Actually I’d like that; go back to the instant before creation and prevent it. Nothing forever. Ahhhh…
Point made here is why be younger if you don’t have the wisdom of your elder self? I would have a MUCH better time with many more happy people in my wake.
I would not do anything differently. Every mistake I’ve made has made me who I am today. Even if I were forced to re-live through the embarrassments, financial losses and other negative outcomes I would still endure them.
The only exceptions are that there were occasions when I could have been kinder and more charitable to people. I wish I could undo those.
Sit front and centre in class and ignore the “smart” comments from behind you. Your marks will improve five or ten percent just from this.
Write down everything the teacher says, even if it is an illegible scribble. You don’t have to read it again; the act of writing fixed it in your memory.
When the teacher assigns the odd-numbered questions as homework, do all the questions. Not only do you get twice the practice, teachers often use the even-numbered questions on exams.
Do all of these things and graduate top of the class. I shirked homework and sat at the back when a teen and barely squeaked through. Went to college in my late thirties to learn about computers, applied these ideas, and people mistook me for someone smart.
On the personal level, the single most important thing I ever learned was do not procrastinate. Not just about school; every time something comes up that you are afraid to do, do it as soon as you can.
If I could go back… well, I wouldn’t jump off my bike when I was 9 and lose my front tooth for the rest of my life. Not having a silver front tooth until I was a teenager would have been a game-changer. (Teeth bling wasn’t cool then.) The rest applies – study more in subjects that I now use professionally, work out then when it would have made a big difference in my physique and long-term health (catching up is a bitch but still worth it) and quit worrying about the opinions of the “popular” kids who were at the top of their game and would end up in dead-end jobs while I followed my professional career to different states and moved in a much higher-class social environment.
The problem with not marrying one’s X, if you have fantastic children, is you wouldn’t have those wonderful human beings in your life… Forget the loser that left you… (or you left); the children you brought into the world are here for a reason! The two young men my X and I produced are worth having been married too early, living a nomadic Navy life, and dealing with their dad deployed at least 75% of their childhood. Putting off my career for 15 years hurts now that I was forced into early retirement, but I have my sons……
I may not have it exactly right – but the Norwegians have an expression that goes something like – when you pull on the red thread you never know what knot is at the end.
I thought I left a comment yesterday here but I can’t find it.It was that I think I remember laughing hard at this very cartoon from a few years ago – is it possible that it has been recycled?
eastern.woods.metal over 3 years ago
Wiley bears off camera?
kaffekup over 3 years ago
Panel three sums it up for me: stay fit, take care of your teeth, and don’t get married.
Concretionist over 3 years ago
Wiley Bear in a completely new situation.
Superfrog over 3 years ago
Regrets..urp…I’ve had a few…urp..
jimmjonzz Premium Member over 3 years ago
He ran a bar, and he was tender. Being a rabbit and all.
Wilde Bill over 3 years ago
It’s what (urp) bears do.
Imagine over 3 years ago
I would eat the bartender too if he didn’t give me any snacks to go with my drink.
Bilan over 3 years ago
I don’t think they get the concept of Happy Hour. Well, at least the peanuts are free now.
nosirrom over 3 years ago
If I could go back knowing what I know now I’m not sure I would do things differently.
Every step you take leads you to where you are now. So if I took different steps I may not have met my wife.
in-dubio-pro-rainbow over 3 years ago
You know that you’re in a bad bar when the tender got eaten and the service stays the same…
DamnHappyChappy over 3 years ago
Eating the bartender was genius. You can help yourself to as much free booze as you wish.
artsyguy65 over 3 years ago
Did you pair that meal up with some fava beans and a nice chianti?
eastern.woods.metal over 3 years ago
I think Wiley got a new dictionary for Christmas. Throw a dart at a page for inspiration
1 : described or thought of as having a human form or human attributes
2 : ascribing human characteristics to nonhuman things
Charliegirl Premium Member over 3 years ago
This may be my new favorite Wiley.
cdward over 3 years ago
Never eat the bartender. Just don’t.
Doug K over 3 years ago
Perhaps Rabbit’s Hutch Pub needs to screen it’s clientele a little better.
dot-the-I over 3 years ago
Bear could have saved the hare of the dog for his hangover.
c141starlifter over 3 years ago
A grasshopper goes into a bar and asks for a screw driver and the bar tender says “Do you know we have a drink named after you”? And the grasshopper says “Really….. you have drink named Irving”?
Carolyn Saunders over 3 years ago
That cheered me up immensely – laughed out loud
Masterskrain over 3 years ago
I believe this is the VERY FIRST talking Wiley Bear EVER!!!!
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 3 years ago
It depends on how far back I could go. 8th grade? 3rd grade? Birth? In the womb? Before conception? Precambrian? The instant before the Big Bang? Actually I’d like that; go back to the instant before creation and prevent it. Nothing forever. Ahhhh…
Zebrastripes over 3 years ago
He’s bear-ing his soul and drowning in booze!
Darsan54 Premium Member over 3 years ago
Point made here is why be younger if you don’t have the wisdom of your elder self? I would have a MUCH better time with many more happy people in my wake.
dflak over 3 years ago
I would not do anything differently. Every mistake I’ve made has made me who I am today. Even if I were forced to re-live through the embarrassments, financial losses and other negative outcomes I would still endure them.
The only exceptions are that there were occasions when I could have been kinder and more charitable to people. I wish I could undo those.
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 3 years ago
Sometimes a tactical victory can be a strategic loss. I mean really, don’t eat the hand that feeds you!
Kveldulf over 3 years ago
Sit front and centre in class and ignore the “smart” comments from behind you. Your marks will improve five or ten percent just from this.
Write down everything the teacher says, even if it is an illegible scribble. You don’t have to read it again; the act of writing fixed it in your memory.
When the teacher assigns the odd-numbered questions as homework, do all the questions. Not only do you get twice the practice, teachers often use the even-numbered questions on exams.
Do all of these things and graduate top of the class. I shirked homework and sat at the back when a teen and barely squeaked through. Went to college in my late thirties to learn about computers, applied these ideas, and people mistook me for someone smart.
Kveldulf over 3 years ago
On the personal level, the single most important thing I ever learned was do not procrastinate. Not just about school; every time something comes up that you are afraid to do, do it as soon as you can.
I learned that too late.
Diat60 over 3 years ago
The dog’s tail is wagging away. Hope he’s not a tasty morsel!
Ken Otwell over 3 years ago
If I could go back… well, I wouldn’t jump off my bike when I was 9 and lose my front tooth for the rest of my life. Not having a silver front tooth until I was a teenager would have been a game-changer. (Teeth bling wasn’t cool then.) The rest applies – study more in subjects that I now use professionally, work out then when it would have made a big difference in my physique and long-term health (catching up is a bitch but still worth it) and quit worrying about the opinions of the “popular” kids who were at the top of their game and would end up in dead-end jobs while I followed my professional career to different states and moved in a much higher-class social environment.
uniquename over 3 years ago
He could start doing some of those things now. Sometimes it’s never too late.
garcoa over 3 years ago
It is a self-serve bar now. Don’t be down on yourself.
mattro65 over 3 years ago
I never think about going back and doing things differently. It’s a waste of time and energy, both of which I need to deal with my life now.
inkyb over 3 years ago
I love the bear’s shirt! ahh, regrets. great strip, Wiley!
ikini Premium Member over 3 years ago
The “AT” in THEATER should be worried. Those "E"s look hungry.
mistercatworks over 3 years ago
I’d start over as a cat – to have nine lives to get it right. :)
Victor the Crab over 3 years ago
That bear’s quote could be seen as a double entendre!
DCBakerEsq over 3 years ago
Yers ago, I dated a hottie bartender for several months. But, I’m not going to finish this story for fear of getting banned. Again.
the lost wizard over 3 years ago
He should have been more specific when he asked if there was anything that I’d like to eat.
Say What? Premium Member over 3 years ago
It’s interesting and proper that Wiley used “healthful diet” instead of “healthy diet”. I hear so many people say the latter these days.
Stephen Mitchell Premium Member over 3 years ago
Ooooops one of Wiley’s bear got loose and wore a disguise.
evanmarhews over 3 years ago
never eat the hand that serves you beer
billdaviswords over 3 years ago
There WERE snacks (bones) but they moved in the last panel!
Richard S Russell Premium Member over 3 years ago
No bartender = self-service. Could be worse.
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] over 3 years ago
Animal world, just like our world only with animals.
JenSolo02 over 3 years ago
The problem with not marrying one’s X, if you have fantastic children, is you wouldn’t have those wonderful human beings in your life… Forget the loser that left you… (or you left); the children you brought into the world are here for a reason! The two young men my X and I produced are worth having been married too early, living a nomadic Navy life, and dealing with their dad deployed at least 75% of their childhood. Putting off my career for 15 years hurts now that I was forced into early retirement, but I have my sons……
Daeder over 3 years ago
At least he was ’tender.
keenanthelibrarian over 3 years ago
I like the bird flying to work with a brief case. (2nd frame)
cracker65 over 3 years ago
If you screw your life up, it’s no one’s fault but yours. That’s what I tell myself.
Thinkingblade over 3 years ago
I may not have it exactly right – but the Norwegians have an expression that goes something like – when you pull on the red thread you never know what knot is at the end.
bakana over 3 years ago
That’s why so many Bars used to have “Free Food” during Happy Hour.
Warhaft over 3 years ago
Nice.
Laurie Stoker Premium Member over 3 years ago
And, the Wiley Bear is back to normal.
ddan over 3 years ago
I thought I left a comment yesterday here but I can’t find it.It was that I think I remember laughing hard at this very cartoon from a few years ago – is it possible that it has been recycled?
KeithPixton1 over 3 years ago
These multi-panels are why I gave up on Non Sequitur. I prefer the style of Bizarro and Rhymes with Orange.