Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for April 09, 2021

Mom should have a say in this.

There’s nothing worse than…..a dumb toaster.

Aye Calvin, these ‘larger perspective’ guys are a really hard boiled lot.

Maybe Calvin should have turned the bread over before trying the second time.

Now a days all toasters come internet enabled so some one out there has an algorithm that determines you need more bread and feeds you ads for bread ( forever )

The worst is when the toast fails to pop up and then smoke starts coming out of the toaster.

Dad might give consideration to trading you in though

This could be a Stupendous Man task.

Just use the microwave…

Let’s not teach him how to make grilled cheese.

Stop complaining, Calvin, or you’ll be toast!

I think I will adopt Dad’s outlook — And yet, somehow, live goes on. No use getting my knickers in a twist.

Back in the 60’s we had an old toaster. It had two doors, one on each side. You put a slice of bread on a door and closed it. You had to watch it so the bread didn’t burn. When one side was done you opened the door and the bread slid out, toasted side down and you closed the door and toasted the other side. I think it was major entertainment on weekend mornings.

He is a skinflint!!

How about this thought, Dad: if you were to meet your Maker today, life would STILL go on!

Larger perspectives build character…and save money!

Want a new toaster? Just let a child try to make grilled cheese or PB on toast with a toaster. Neither one bodes well. Oh, and be sure you dial 9-1 and keep your finger hovering above the 1 key while they’re doing it. (For those that can’t figure out why, the clue is “Do not be surprised when they a). Combine steps and/or b). Get the steps out of order.”)

As soon as I find my baseball bat, life for that toaster is over.

Dad doesn’t want to waste his bread on a thing that toasts bread…

Let me know when you find a good 4 slice toaster. Haven’t found one yet.

Thus we have a larger perspective within the larger perspective.

Got a toaster oven. Much better toast and i can get 6 at a time, …, if i ever want to.

It’s a fine line between parsimony and philosophy, young Cal!

There are two types of people who have antiques. The ones who can afford them and the ones who can’t afford to get rid of them.

We refer to these kinds of events as “First World Problems.”

Why do toasters have burn settings?

Our current toaster has a “bagel” setting, which does nothing. Even said so in the instructions, but not the ad.

Cheapskate Father,“Burnt toast builds character.”

it took me YEARS to get my mom to replace our crappy old toaster

This seems like user error, not a worn out tester.

Obla di obla da.

wow. what a bad toaster. never had that happen to me!

just take a knife and scrap off the burnt side of the toast.

My dad tends to be like that, often with a sardonic/rude “Oh well!”

I can’t believe that Dad doesn’t realize that burning the toast is a sure sign of the Apocalypse.

It would seem, in this advanced and fancy age, that it would be possible to buy a toaster with a colorimetric sensor that would detect the “brown-ness” of the toast rather than using a simple timer or heat sensor. Also, I’m sure applied physics would allow the use of infra-red diffusers which would produce uniform heat distribution. I’m not expecting it to cost $19.99 but it would certainly have a market somewhere. (Degrees in Chemistry and Physics with a minor in Frustration)

Next, Dad will explain how to turn the bread around before toasting it the second time, to “even it out”.

Oh, if that was the worst trouble I had to deal with, I would thank my lucky stars.

I am reminded of my father, a dry land farmer. He said that irrigating crops looked like a lot of work and he’d rather sit around and wait for it to rain anyway

How wonderful is life when you’re 6 years old. While downsizing, planned obsolescence, creeping obesity, etc. are all still meaningless concepts.

Ahh… the genius of Calvin.

life isn’t easy calvin i spill water sometimes, but eventually you learn to roll with it

…backstage, Dad is laughing his head off!

This brings to mind a passage from one of Bill Bryson’s books (I’m paraphrasing): My father was the last man in the Midwest to buy an air conditioner. He thought air conditioning was unnatural. He thought anything that cost more than $30 was unnatural.

Beneath that dumb toaster there is a guy who does not go for the new sibling for obvious reasons…

This is the exact reason people put toasters in bathtubs.

They’re evil.

i’ve been there, calvin

I like calvins face. HA HA!