Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 26, 2021

Strangest resignation letter I’ve ever read.

And this is an ultimatum . Rat’s career ultimatum.

I have been at my present job for 10 yrs. In the ten years, I have had 5 bosses. When meeting the new boss, the first thing I say to them is, “The last boss couldn’t make me work, what makes you think you can”. I let them know what they are dealing with right off the bat.

If Rat’s still working at the coffee shop, he should return. It’s easier than using that pipe.

now that I think about it, how does a grocery store utility clerk (collect carts, clean aisles/bathrooms, carry shoppers’ groceries from cashier to car, etc.) work from home?

But Rat. Doesn’t you works at the café? How can you works at home for that?

He’s writing on paper so he won’t accidentally hit “send.”

Actually, Rat, the Employer didn’t say anything about working at the office; he/she/it just said to return to the office and stop working at home. With a sleazy enough lawyer, you can take great advantage of this.

Rat is a Gavin Newsom protege.

Maybe Rat is trying out for the role of “Wally” in another strip?

And nobody ever fired you for being sassy?Boy, your job must be reeeaaally unpopular :-)

This will now be copied and circulating innumerable times among companies all over the world.

Today Rat reminds me of Wally on Dilbert!

“Don’t make me productive. You wouldn’t like me when I’m productive.”

Reply: Your decision will be reflected in your direct deposit amount.

Something tells me his reply will be on pink paper

Rat you just Won the Slacker Award for today !

My boss always tell new hires:

“Don’t think of me as your boss. Think of me as a friend that can fire you.“

My son got hired 10 days before the company sent everyone to work from home due to the virus. He has been promoted twice since then, has never met his new supervisor in person and has no idea where his office is. One supervisor told him to slow down a bit because he was showing everyone up — but since he was alone in his apartment, he had no idea how fast anyone else was working. When they gave fully vaccinated staff the option of coming in to the office, he chose to keep working from home. We’ll see how long that lasts. But he is making them good money, so….

during my previous life as a cog in the corporate machine the various bosses i had over the years were amazingly clueless about my superior level of incompetence. even the ones that were somewhat on the ball showed no inclination whatsoever to fire me. amazes me to this day…

So if he doesn’t work, how does he make money for food?

A note not to be sent …..

My wife has to go into work today. Second time in only five weeks!

Working from home was never an option with my job. Being laid off or “furloughed” was an option, but luckily everyone at our facility was considered essential. The only difference was that traffic was a lot lighter on the way in to work for a while.

Fortunately, my employer allows me a hybrid schedule and I decide when I work from home and when I go to the brick and mortar office (which is barely a 15 minute drive from home). Pretty sweet deal. However, the artist of a comic strip works from home all the time. Sweeter.

Even if they could have wedged that CNC lathe into my garage, I don’t have the electric service to run it.

Many could work from home the majority of the time, but change is hard to do. So the freeway fills up

My argument for remaining at home is that my production has actually soared once I no longer had to “walk away” from annoying conversations that took place near my desk three or more times a day. Management refused to tell the loudmouths to shut up, they made it my fault for not “tuning them out”.

Dear Rat:

Feel free to stay home indefinitely.

Your former employer

You can’t say I didn’t warn him. Now to see the ensuing domino reaction.

Hard to refute that argument…

Probability problem with this one: This retired Mathematician and Elect. Engineer doubts the efficacy of southpaw rats.

They won’t Rat. They’ll make you go to to the unemployment office.

That’s what you call ‘Rattitude!’

A year before COVID our company decided to move our office from a nice suburban spot with walkways, parks, in-building cafeteria, semi-private cubicles, etc. to a downtown location in a cement jungle with large unassigned multiseat tables “to boost morale and productivity”. Between the hour-long speaker phone calls, having to move positions several times a day (since any time you got up someone else could take your spot), acoustics that allowed you to hear every conversation in the wing, and people chomping/popping gum in my ear, the productivity of my team and I plummeted. It went back up the week we were sent home for COVID and hasn’t wavered since. Hmm…

Rat takes the long wait to say ‘I quit’.

Rat’s system is being widely followed, as many workers are not returning to the office. Some employers are adapting….

How does one be a barista from home?

Rat would not want to talk to Pope Francis today (see today’s “Francis”).