Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 11, 2022

Smack Rat with a disturbing of the peace charge and he can find out how expensive a lawyer is.

I bet you’re not happy with your life, you’re a rat.

The closest I’ve ever come to seeing a happy rat was seeing Mickey Mouse.

LIFE’S NOT HAPPY WITH YOU EITHER, RAT!

I think Rat should just buy one of those Everlast punching bags and go to town on it anytime he feels angry. Knowing Rat, he might be ready for a MMA bout in no time.

It still seems better than Twitter.

Too many people use the megaphones called Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and the result is obvious!

Rat has gone from Primal Scream to Mega Scream.

Rat stole that megaphone off Mort from “Rudy Park”.

Rat tried therapy.

His therapist felt the sessions over Twitter was ineffective, and Rat was only willing to share what was on his Facebook feed. The therapist was appalled by Rat twerking posted on his TikTok feed.

Share the un-happyness.

I have had pet rats.

Fed up of the RAT Race, eh.

Well Rat," If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, You want my personal point of view? Get an ugly girl to marry you…"

Don’t be ridiculous! Don’t use a megaphone. Use social media. Trillions of people are out there listening to you. Go! :D

I think Rat needs a long vacation.

On a desert island with one palm tree and surrounded by sharks.

For a very long time.

Disconnect from your electronics for a week. Go for a walk. Plant a tree.

If you can’t give a logical answer “Shout them down”!!

Tomorrow Pig goes shopping for a megaphone only to find none on the shelves due to supply chain issues.

STEPHAN! GO BACK to your wife YOU need her!

so, is Twitter like a megaphone?

That’s true. Insurance pays up to 50% at most. Liquor’s cheaper (jk).

Is there a Megaphone App for my Phone?

Rat isn’t supposed to be happy. He’s supposed to represent the cynicism of the creator.

Rat, that’s what social media is for.

the third year into and endless epidemic….. no herd formed yet to drive away the covid demon.

Has Rat ever tried playing a video game, or streaming?

If therapy is too expensive, you could always try being a cartoonist.

A nice metaphor for people peddling hatred because they are not happy with their own lives.

If a megaphone makes your voice louder, what should a microphone do?

Primal scream therapy works too. In an otherwise empty elevator. Dropping from the 9th floor to ground level. (I miss working in that building.)

Protest practice?

Make changes to alter your life…

It’s sad, but Rat is right about the therapy being too expensive, I’ve had to try the megaphone now. Seems funny.

Maybe I should get a megaphone. Nope, seems pointless.

He needs to have some therapy. It’s his only hope.

Goat definitely has skinny legs……

Opting for the cheaper alternative. That is so Rat.

Blame Rudy Vallee.He started the whole thing.

Maybe the rest of the characters can start a GoFundMe campaign to pay for therapy. It would certainly improve their lives.

I am reminded (speaking of alternatives to therapy) of a Gibson Guitars ad from a few years back; guy is standing in what is obviously a backstage hallway, leaning on the wall looking pensive, holding an acoustic guitar. The caption is “Your emotional baggage just went gold”.

Some people manage to do that just by TYPING IN CAPITALS, wouldja believe it, Rat? :D

Then take your Medicare, Hospital, and Insurance statements and resolve the differences.

Stephan has needed therapy for some time now. Maybe he should quit the strip. It doesn’t seem to be making him very happy.

I’m not happy with my life. Not happy with my life. Not happy with my life. So I’m living someone else’s life. Exactly whose life I don’t know. Help!

Social media is the written equivalent of a megaphone.

If you think therapy is expensive, check out silence, it’s golden.

I’ve got news for you, therapy doesn’t help either.

Therapy definitely ain’t cheap and the therapist doesn’t give you the advice you’re hoping for.

But at least therapy would be private, and infringe on everyone else’s lives.

And Rat with his megaphone blows Goat away!

Goat is a bit of a busybody anyway….

Do goats have hearts on the right?

Like government by those who yell the loudest.

Where do I get a megaphone? I want to try that.