For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for April 24, 2022

and they were real people back then, not bots

Even the YouTuber Atomic Shrimp makes some videos about him messing with email scammers.

I might enjoy it but I don’t have the time or patience to mess with them,

I just don’t answer.

BTW, don’t the Pattersons have an answering machine??

Sunday strips are a welcome respite from the drama of the past few weeks.

Some on Youtube have made very interesting videos of themselves responding to scammers.

OUTSTANDING!!!

/SHMIRK/

Nowadays, we have Caller ID and don’t even bother answering the phone. Look what we’re missing the chance to do.

The Pattersons got a cat? Farley is not going to like that, but he may be too busy taking care of April to realize it. Plus I did not know Elly had all these medical problems, but in retrospect, it does explain a lot of the things she does.

I always ask every telephone solicitor how long s/he has been a Telemarketing Whore. Or if it’s someone calling asking to buy my house I tell those low-life losers that they’re Real Estate Vultures.

I have absolutely NO sympathy for any of these scamming intruders and denigrating them is for me both a fun pasttime plus it’s WAY cheaper than me seeing a Shrink!

I use a landline and just tell them I need to go turn the stove down and then just leave the phone sit until they eventually hang up…

Talk ’em to death! Good job Ellie! ;D

Well, there goes her “Reader’s Digest Million Dollar Sweepstakes” award.

I still mess with them when they call. :+))

I guess I have a mean streak….or just don’t like cold calls.

How is she today? Her stomach is acting up? Apparently Connie hasn’t told her yet on the gossip line that Lawrence is gay.

We get a lot of [industry-specific] solicitor calls at work. I act interested but say that my boss isn’t available; can I take a message? They give me their name, company & contact information, I thank them & hang up. Am I actually taking the message? Heck, no! Oh, and my boss is usually right next to me as I do it. He loves it. (My boss is also amused that I usually sing a small snippet of the Monkees’ song “Salesman” when I hang up.)

I used to do that when the solicitors were real people. Now, I have a service that keeps the bots from getting through to begin with. :D

I won’t go out of my way to try to make a person feel bad for doing their job.

Lynn’s Comments:

I have done this from time to time, and have had great fun knowing the poor schlub on the other end was helplessly hanging on—hoping to dupe me into buying something. As a wary home-owner, I have created some amazingly annoying one-sided speeches. I just had to be in the right mood.

Working in a sales call center is often a job of last resorts often employing disabled workers with low pay and high pressure to meet sales quotas (no I never worked in a call center).

I’d like someone in the industry to explain WHY companies still do this? There isn’t a sole on this earth that would buy anything from a telemarketer, except when they get lucky and connect with a senile nursing home.

I’ve heard of doing something like that.

I like to have fun with “Dave” from Microsoft, when he calls me from India about my Windows problem. My record to string him along is 45 minutes, and it has increased my fund of Hindu curses.

Sometimes you get those people who claim to be “tech experts“ from your Internet provider service saying that your router is having a problem and they need to help you fix it… They’ll try to get you to give them remote access to your computer… I kept one guy on the line for over 30 minutes telling him that my computer was going through automatic updates and was having trouble shutting down, restarting, etc.… He started to get really frustrated and told me he didn’t have much time to continue, but I begged and begged him to stay on the line to “help me“… Finally he got to the point where he was going to hang up and I asked him: Did you enjoy my wasting your time for 30 minutes you scamming asshole?” All he said was “F**k you!” and then hung up.. LOL

Would any of you act as rude to a person selling door to door?

I wait for the real people, then play!!!!

I remember when this strip first came out in the newspapers. I learned a lot from it and used it when I had the chance!

I do the samething!

I have to add this one to my arsenal. I like this one.

My favorite however is to let them get through their entire drivel, usually a couple of times, because I must be certain on some of the “finer points” and then end it with an agreement to purchase/pay for what ever con they are pushing………..

….“As long as I can pay via a withdrawal from a Nigerian Bank Account just as soon as I get my Inheritance from a Nigerian Prince. It should be here any day now.”

Funny thing, I never seem to hear back from them. No one even calls to sell me an extended car warranty any more.

I wonder what level of desperation or despair it takes to be a telephone marketer? I mean really, is it worth it?

Brilliant!

Solicitors are not prepared for that, Ellie. I usually answer that thankfully I haven’t been attacked by a squid. Doesn’t lead to further discourse.

My sister would talk to them. Don’t engage them, it encourages them…but maybe not in this case! ;)

If you want to get rid of them fast, let them give you their speale, then ask them real nicely to repeat it because one of the voices in your head wasn’t listening the first time.

Stammer….Stammer…..Click. Problem solved.

I’ve done exactly this several times, when I had some spare time, and enjoyed it greatly. I come up with all kinds of fake conditions I’m suffering from (“My doctor says my oil pressure is too low, so I have to drink a quart of banana juice every morning before breakfast.”). I don’t allow the other side to respond. But they’ve never stayed on the line as long as Ellie’s did today!Nowadays, of course, you’re likely talking to a robot, who probably won’t let YOU get a word in whenever you want to.

I would have hung up after the “Yes”!

There’s a site where you can report these nuisance calls:

https://consumercomplaints.fcc.gov/hc/en-us?return_to=%2Fhc%2Fen-us%2Frequests

I don’t have the time to chat with the telemarketer, no matter how much fun it would be to keep him or her on the line. Elly did REALLY well with her list of stuff on the spur of the moment.

So many medical problems for one so young

My favourite is to say “Can you hold on for a moment”, and put the phone down. I go about my business until I hear the phone’s off-hook beeping. I love wasting their time.

I hope she washes her hands again before she puts them back into the bowl.

She could have put April on & have told April to start singing the alphabet .Or anything little kid like!

well i’m not quite this good but o also have about that much fun

They did something similar years ago and I’ve been using it when there’s an actual person. these days it’s often robocalls, but that’s easy to deal with.

Never thought of talking marketed calls.

She sure looks alarmed when the phone rings.

I will have to remember that

They copied my friends, wife’s idea or great pleasure. Toying with people who should not be calling. She is a real master at telephone trolling.

If you can go to YOUTUBE and type in TOM MABE he messed with telemarketers with NO MERCEY….Crime Scene, Fight Me, Hooters, etc.

BWAHAHAHA!!!

My favorite “handling” of a telemarketer (via internet in this case) was the lady who raised & sold horses for a living. She would get emails from folks who would promise to buy a horse, but send her a check for anywhere from $500 to several $Thousand more than the price and ask her to give the difference to the “friend” who was picking up the horse. She would lead them on wonderfully. They would send her the fake check which she would promptly turn into her local sheriff and then string out the “buyer” for weeks. She’s even had the scammers threaten to have her jailed for stealing their fake checks. One time she pretended a romantic/stalker interest in the scammer. She used to publish the email threads on her website and they were sometimes so funny that I would almost fall off my chair laughing.

I get the real people now, too. And I still don’t want to talk to them. Every call is a scam call.

Awhile back, John Oliver did a great bit on today’s phone soliciting bots — Funny Stuff!

MY favorite method for handling telephone solicitors? Hello. Yes. Excuse me, could you hang on one minute please? then I’d put the phone down and go about my business.

We can all learn as lesson from this.

WAY TO GO LADY!!

Sometimes i just answer the phone and say nothing; i’ll hear, “hello…hello?” and i wait for the click. Other times when i do answer and they ask for my wife, i say, “this is she.” i can almost hear their faces reddening,

I had this one on my refrigerator for years.